Otherness

   He saw her, up close, for the first time in a while. It was startling to be sure but it also strangely soothed him to know she was still part of his world in some small way.
He felt himself gape at her as she strolled by and the memories rushed in like a swarm of bees. He wanted to run away from the pain but the images came hard and fast.
The way her eyes crinkled when she really smiled wide. The twinkle in those green depths when she was teasing him. The feel of her skin under his hands and the sound of her soft moans as he delved deeply within her.
The look in her green eyes as she passed him was startling. He thought he would see anger, dismissal but what he saw confused him, frightened him and also gave him a slight shiver of hope.

He seemed to be without breath as he went on his way, almost running up the stairs to escape the ghost.
When he reached his destination he must have looked spooked for more than one person questioned him about his composure. He knew if he had looked in a mirror at that moment he would see his mouth pinched in a tight line, his back ram rod straight and his brow furrowed in what can only be called agitation.

Letting out a slow breath he stared at nothing for a moment, gather his thoughts to the task at hand. It was hard to reign in the images of silken skin, sweet smiles just for him, and the knowledge that that woman had loved him very much at one time. But what about now?
He refused to examine how he felt about her for she was his kryptonite. The one woman who could undo him and send him to his knees. Not in submission but in the desire to please, to make her gorgeous face light up in love.

He grabbed a pen and wrote as the thoughts came to him.

She always had that look about her, that look of otherness, of eyes that see things much too far
and of thoughts that wander off the edge of the world.

Tossing the pen aside he did not see the person behind him until he spoke.

"Who is that about?" a male voice said and he about came out of his skin. Turning in his chair he saw his friend from down the hall.
He shook his head and then sighed.
"Someone I lost."

His friend nodded as he leaned against the wall.
"How did you lose her?"

A sad smile touched his lips and he said softly. "Arrogance and stupidity."

"We all get there sometimes. Won't she forgive?"

"It's a matter of choice. My choice. I chose something else and while I know she understood she....damn....hell..." he ran a hand through his hair and sighed softly.

"Yeah. well what does that mean then?" his friend nodded to the paper on the desk.

He stared at the paper a moment knowing that he had to do what he had to do. But then it was an easy choice at the time. what he had was easy in a way, he knew it all, the ins and outs and how to play it. This woman, this amazing creature that stirred his very soul to insane heights, scared the hell out of him and he knew, just by looking in her eyes, that she knew everything there was to know about him. Every secret. Every bad thing he had ever done. Every good deed. Every trespass on a heart. She had his number and it terrified him. She was a witch come with spells casted on his heart and soul.
"She was my conscious. She saw into my heart and soul but accepted it as it was meant to be. She could see things as they came, touched people where they needed to heal and all at her own expense. Not of this world. Something that fell from space, flaming like a star not meant for a mere mortal such as myself." he said softly and stared at the paper, not seeing the words but seeing those haunting green eyes.