There's a Moment

There's a moment
between a glance and a kiss where the world stops,
for the briefest of times and the only thing between us
is the anticipation of your lips on mine.
A moment
so intense it hangs in the air.
As it pulls us closer
a moment
so perfect that when it comes to an end
we realize it's only just beginning.

Eyes meeting for longer than a second
souls are revealed.
A moment
where a connection is formed.
A tenuous thread
that binds us together.
Closer we are drawn
to one another.

I can feel the heat
of our skin bouncing off one another.
My fingertips slide over
your arm and I shiver for you.
Your thumb
glides over my bottom lip.
Anticipation
thrills through my veins.
A moment
then it all changes.

Your lips possess mine
in a kiss that steals the breath from my soul.
The world tilts
and we only know each other.
Intoxicated
high on the wild sensations that rip through us both.
Arms tugging
each other closer.
We wish to meld.
To be one.
Feel it all.
Taste more.
Go deeper.

Lost in a Kiss

I didn't think stopping at the grocery store could be so entertaining.
I guess it would be when I have this little slip of a woman throwing bags of chips into the cart like a pro basketball player.
When one missed the cart and slid down the aisle she just laughs, snatches it up and tosses it back on the shelf with a muttered, we don't want that one.
Laughing she rode the cart down to the other end of the chip aisle and waved me onward.
Always an adventure with this little one.
She made me smile. Nothing could bring my mood up better than her. Her smile was contagious and she was the sweetest thing I had ever known. Heart bigger than Texas and she would drown you in compassion then give you mouth to mouth to revive you for more.
Laughing and joking they walked out of the store together.
This was a good thing. They needed to spend this time together. I had been avoiding it but damn it all, I missed her so much and I truly relaxed around her.

Into the house they tumble with all the bags going to the kitchen counter.
A night of movies with lots of beer and snacks. It will be great.
Damn, those jeans she had on tonight were his favorite. They hugged every curve.

She paused staring up at him and he froze.

"Like what you see?" She said playfully as she smiles up at him.

"Yes, I do. Always have." he says softly

"Good." she said and then she was pressing her small form against his body.

She puts her hands on either side of my face and the room falls away.
I have never gotten so lost in a kiss before. And then, the space between us explodes.
My heart keeps missing beats and my hands cannot bring her close enough to me.
I taste her and realize I have been starving.
I have loved before but it didn't feel like this.
I have kissed before, but it didn't burn me alive.
Maybe it lasts a minute, and maybe it's an hour.
All I know is that kiss, and how soft her skin is when it brushes against mine and that even if I did not know it until now, I have been waiting for this person forever.

Hidden Away

Childhood was filled with fantasies and inward playmates.
I found myself standing on the edge of the world, watching everyone grow, learn and do the things that were meant to be done in the here and now. While I stood, day dreaming of dragons, true love and forests as large as the imagination.
Time passed and I found that I needed to step into the real world.
Needed to learn to be what I had to be to survive.
I hid my world. I quieted my mind and kept my special place safe in case I needed to visit to feel the sheer joy of pure understanding once again.

I found that my fantasy place where my dragons breathed fire to cook my dinner and people loved one another freely without censure clashed with the reality world that I physically resided in.
I had to hide my flights of fancy as they had no place in the harsh hustle and bustle of this world.
It was useless to find soul mates who understood those wild corners of my mind so I learned to morph into what was acceptable.
Though I still was outcast.
Standing on the sidelines watching people run to and fro.
People lived for the things of the time and could not understand where I came from.
Who I truly am was hidden away.

I long for a place where I can set out the trinkets of my world and have curious passerby's stop to admire the creativity and beauty I have displayed.
To be able to sit over coffee and discuss the deeper workings of the mind, soul and spirit.
To hold hands with a lover and just watch the river flow by in silence feeling content and complete.
Sitting on soft pillows, scented candles, with shelves of books to read and discuss.
My lover would lay their head in my lap while we talked as the clouds floated by on a summer day as dusk approached. All was safe and wonderful.
My words would be heard. They would make sense.
My fondest dream would come true
I would be seen for who I really am and loved for it.

Never on the Same Page

She was never on the same page as the people around her
Sometimes ahead, sometimes behind,
always in a different chapter sometimes even in a completely different book.

Voices collided around her in a cacophony of sound but she could not keep up.
All of the laughter of things she could not understand.
She tried, oh Goddess, she tried but she fell behind.
Her mind would wander to something that was deeper, darker than what everyone around her was spilling forth.

A comment from her would not fit in. Silence. Stares. Then she would laugh nervously and step back.

Always on the edge.

Daydreamer.
Night writer.

Sleepwalker.

A quick learner she pulled her cards close to her chest.Quieted down and watched.

Her book was filled with chapters of fantasy that brought a smile to her face.

Coffee in the mornings.
Blankets warm. Snuggles on the couch while the fire crackles cheerily nearby and the silence is only broken by the turning of the pages they would read together.
Snow would fly and it would not matter for the warmth within was all that was needed.
Sunshine in the afternoons that took one outside into the forest to explore.
Simple. Quiet. Accepting.

On the fringe again she ducked her head feeling the corner of loneliness tug her backwards.
She had to fight. She did not want to go back to being lost in her mind. She wanted to be with everyone. She wanted to be funny again. To get the joke. To be able to tell the joke.

Strength was waning for she may win some battles the war was wearing her thin.

For once she wanted to win.
Wanted the blue ribbon.
To touch her fantasy and sigh with relief that it is real.
No more ghosts.

Lack of Inbetween

She sighed softly as she stared out the window at the wind pulling the fall leaves from the trees. She watched their spiraling path down to the grass that still remained green. The yellow of the leaves against the grass was startling. Both so vibrant but at the end of their lifespan as winter approached.
Normally she felt joy at the change in season but this time, her heart was not in it. Her soul seemed muted and quiet. She had troubles on the mind. Troubles she created herself and now had to unravel.

Many times in the past when she was faced with this sort of thing. She would tug and chew on the problem till it became a maelstrom in her head.
Her heart would race, dire predictions of losing and pain would spin around till she could not sleep or eat.
Today, she sat numb. A flit of worry here and there would come but mostly, there was nothing.
She was tired. Emotionally tired of wanting something so much that would not ever be.
The signs were there and she had to understand the situation.
Knowing the truth in her mind but getting her heart to understand was an entirely different matter.
She was working on it though. She had it in hand.
Never would she inflict herself on anyone in a manner they did not wish for and that was her down fall.
Her bruised little heart with its wants, fits of desire and painful squeezes of disappointment.

She knew things about herself. Things she used to be not proud of but as she came to understand herself better she knew her intentions were always good. Always out of caring and love.
She knew this about herself:
She loves deep and fast. With all of herself, or not one bit.
She'll give people all of her light, in turn struggle to understand when they don't pay that back.
She wants you to think she can't be hurt, but truth is, she gets hurt easier than most.
She is fierceness and tenderness within the same breath.
This is her beauty.
In her total lack of in between.

She knew she was doing alright. She know all would be alight. There were just moments where she needed to sit and stare out the window lost in daydreams of what could be.
No harm in that was there?
She kept her thoughts to herself. Stood in front of the world with her happy smile plastered on her face cause never would she worry those who cared for her.
That would hurt her even more. To know she put pain on someone she loved.
She would handle it inside. The heart would learn what the mind knew. They would fight for a little while longer, then the battle would be over.
Scarred and beaten down, her little heart would go back to it's place in her chest and continue to beat.
It would continue to love and admire those around her for that is what she was built to do.
Others hard it harder than her. Compassion was her soul.

She sighed again as a brisk breeze tugged more yellow leaves to fall to the grass.
Her heart thumped hard against her chest in a bit of pain. She pushed it down and watched the remaining leaves on the tree hang on.

This Way

He stood staring at the oncoming storm. This one was going to be a bad one and he bet it brought a ton of snow with it. Damn he hated winter.
A sight escaped him and he walked back into the house.
He felt his phone buzz in his pocked and he fished it out.
There was a text from her and he could not help the thrill of pleasure that washed through him.
Her texts were always something fun or interesting.
There was a funny joke there waiting for him and he had to laugh out loud.
He shook his head as he texted her back, telling her how funny that was and how fitting.
The phone pushed aside on the counter he watched the first flakes fall outside.
He shook his head, still chuckling at her silliness.  She could get a smile out of him anywhere and at anytime.
He thought about the situation and then sighed. Damn. Why did it have to be this way.
She was different, the same and then out of this world all at the same time.
It drove him crazy but he secretly loved it.

She had this way about her, that made you feel like loving her would be the best mistake you'd ever make. There are women who come neatly wrapped in plastic, with not one single hair out of place. Who speak properly through veneered smiles and perfect poses.
And then there's her.
She bit her nails, and spoke too candidly for anyone thin skinned. She held her liquor and would always be the type to pay for her own drinks. A mess of a girl Like wine on a white dress, or weathered books. Beautiful. But not perfect. An outlier, always against the current and found the most attractive  qualities were someones intellect and passion. That kind of beauty rarely fades. She had this way about her, that made you want to break the rules and reminded you that some mistakes are worth making. She just had this way about her that made you feel like it was all worth it.

He closed his eyes and got lost in thought.

Things That Make You Happy

They sat in a booth next to a window that over looked a river
Trees stood all around the small diner and they were almost alone in their quiet corner of the bustling place.
The remnants of breakfast were all around them and they sat comfortably sipping coffee.
Their conversations were always something to be heard.
Jumping from one topic to another without pause. Lots of laughter and serious frowns as one concentrated on the topic at hand.

Her green eyes sparkled and she leaned forward.
"Tell me somethings that make you happy," she said smiling at him.

"Like what?" he asked.

"Anything - just whatever comes to your head. Close your eyes and just say things."

"OK. A coast highway. Coffee in paper cups. Autumn sunlight. Old people who know things. Handwritten letters. A string of lights between the trees. And...." he said, opening his eyes to look at her.

"And what?"

"And you."

Her cheeks reddened and she ducked her eyes away from his.

"Really?" her gaze peeked up at him through lowered lashes.

"Yeah, I really like that string of lights out there on the patio. Wish they were on though. That would be even better than how they look now." he said, trying not to grin at her with teasing in his blue eyes.

She swatted his arm and laughed.

"You are so bad. You know what I meant!" she laughed.

He caught her hand in his, brought it to his lips, pressing a kiss gently to the palm while his eyes never left hers.

"You are my smile, my happiness. All of those other things make me happy when I am experiencing them with you." he said still holding her hand.

"You are so amazing." she breathed and then leaned across the table.

He met her halfway and soon their lips pressed to one another in a gentle, loving kiss.

That Delicate Balance

It's that delicate balance she craves.
A sweet heart that beats inside a man who'll force her against walls and doors and likes the feel of her hair wrapping in his hand.

To watch such a man you will see strength radiating from him as he goes about his day.
He is sure of who he is and his confidence draws gazes to wander his tall form.
But his blue eyes would settle to the one in the room that he craved.
He would seek out her green eyes and the gentleness in his blues would make her smile sweetly.
Always would be make sure she was alright. Keeping her smiling and feeling safe.
She knew where she stood in his world on the outside as well as on the inside.
She would attend to him making him feel comfortable, adored and happy.

Later when they were alone a soft moan of pleasure would slip from between her lips as his hand tangled in her hair bared her throat for his attention.
Her small form would be pressed against the wall while his larger frame dominated.
Showed her who she belonged to and she willingly submitted to the desire and love she felt for him.
She would wipe the worries of the day from his brow, kiss the stress from his mind and stroke his body till he felt the release of all that troubled him.

They loved one another.
Without apology. With out approval.