Coiled Beneath Her Bones

.
It was rather beautiful: the way he put her insecurities to sleep.
The way he dove into her eyes and starved all the fears and tasted all the dreams she kept coiled beneath her bones.

She leaned back, staring down at the table where she had written the words out in red chalk.
The table was a chalk board and chalk in all colors was provided for patrons to sit and let their inner muse roll forth while the sip the java of the day.
A dot of yellow went to the flower she had drawn next to the words.

"Those words are haunted." a male voice said near to her right side.
She looked up to see a man standing there looking at her work on the table. A crease of concentration shown between his brows and his dark eyes seemed to almost be lost in some dark memory of his own.
She was sure that his bones kept dreams like hers as well as nightmares.

"They are haunted. When they come from a place of wanting they do tend to take on that flavor." she said softly as she put down the yellow chalk, not watching but hearing it roll over the table. Her gaze was riveted to this interesting man who came into her bubble of silence to ask about what she wrote.
Brave soul to enter the lair of the boar.

"There is more than one flavor here." his voice was low and now his gaze of chocolate had moved to latch onto her.

Did her heart stutter a moment? Indeed it did for it was like something inside her remembered this person from some where but she he was not immediately familiar.

"Indeed. There are flavors of true love, fear and resentment."

"I can see that but what about hope?" he said as he sat down in the chair beside her. His long dark hair brushed his shoulders and he sat his own coffee down to the left of her flower on the table.

"Hope is a pipe dream. A false door in an otherwise solid existence." she said and looked away to pick up her own caramel mocha coffee. Those combined flavors were soothing and lovely to her tongue. She needed to be distracted from this dark eyed stranger who was poking holes in her theories.
He made a soft grunting sound and then when she turned back to him he was writing on the table in blue chalk.

His words read; Hope shines the brightest in the darkest moments.

Her gaze lifted from the dusty, printed words beneath her little yellow and green daisy she had drawn and she inclined her head, a smile touching her lips.

"It has been a dark time for me. Perhaps you are the one who shows me the door truly opens to a brighter day?" her heart was pounding in anticipation and fear at his reaction. She had not felt this way in years.

His smile was truly incredible for it made him seem like a ray of sunshine even with his dark hair and eyes. He glowed with promise and adventure.

"I would be honored to show such an eloquent soul the sunshine that awaits. She only has to walk through the door."

She laughed and she knew she would be alright.
She knew that the secrets under her bones may be safe out in the gaze of this one.
Her fears were truly being starved and her joy was being fed.

Closed my Eyes

(Quote above from: Rumi. I added the rest on)

 I closed my eyes and spoke to you
in a thousand, silent ways.

In that darkness I created my own light.
I danced with you as I desired.
Feeling your skin beneath my fingertips.
Knowing each place to touch that would make you shiver.
Smiling as the moan of pleasure broke the careful silence.

I create the moonlight that shone down on our forms.
In that moment we were one.
In that moment we were the way we were supposed to be.

Even if it was only in my silent dreams.

Dancing With Ghosts

Spring was coming once again with its rain, warm winds and delicate green things starting to show their faces to the sun.
She stood at the window of the office building looking out over the tops of the buildings below and then her gaze her lifted to the horizon.
Past the bustling city with the planes, cars and people all noisily going about their business there was an expanse of quiet. That is where her mind went when she looked to the west.
Memories assailed her and she was disappointed in herself for even still thinking of him.
When there was a connection between them it was easily ignored and walked away from. She did not know how he shut himself off but he was an expert at it.
Then to be touched once and shoved out the door was heart wrenching.
By all the nine hell's she did not want to have that reaction. She spent a ton of time going over her thoughts, feelings and actions to see what her problem was.
After that soul searching journey she knew it was what it was.
It was nothing to him now. That was obvious.
Isn't it a cruel joke to love someone who does not love you in return.
She snorted with amusement at her fanciful, romantic self.
She danced around the what if's all the time. She day dreamed of different times. Changed outcomes. what would happen now if they crossed paths.
She shook her head and pressed her forehead and realized she truly was lost, holding on only by a thin thread.
She never got to say those things that needed to be said and she regretted that.
She knew one thing for sure, down to her core, she was not alone.

There is a ghost here. A lonely, heartbroken spirit. The ghost of everything that could have been and never was.

She danced with the ghost of the past and the imaginary ghost of the future.
They teased and taunted her. Showed her what she had for a fleeting moment and what she will never have.

Tears streamed down her face and she ignored them. For those wet tracks were a badge of shame she wore for aching for something that will never be.
No matter how many day dreams she had.
No matter how many ghosts she danced with.

Do Things

"I feel like I fucked it all up. Maybe I was too passive in it all? I did not go after him like I normally would. But hell, I wanted him so bad my heart would leap out of my chest when I saw him and my tongue would tie itself into a bow tie." she sighed with sadness.
"I felt like an utter fool and I wanted so bad to say I'm sorry for not being who you thought I was. But I really am that wild gal that you desired. Damn, the silence hurt." her voice cracked on the last word and she hung her head.

"Hey....look at me." her friend said with a stern tone.

She looked up into his eyes and saw his concern. She sat up straight and smiled as he knelt before her, his eyes bright.

"Listen to me. Do the things you used to talk about doing but never did." his hand squeezed hers and he continued.
"Know when to let go and when to hold on tight. Stop rushing. Don't be intimidated to say it like it is. Stop apologizing all the time. Learn to say no so your yes has some oomph." His smile was gentle and she could not tear her eyes from his. She felt his words sinking into her little broken heart.
"Spend some time with friends who lift you up.." he winked "and cut loose the ones who bring you down. And stop giving your power away. Be more concerned with being interested than interesting. Be old enough to appreciate your freedom and young enough to enjoy it." he lifted her hand, kissed the back of it then said softly.
"Finally....know who you are." he turned her hand over and kissed the palm. His dark eyes filled with what she knew was love.

Her heart expanded and the love she felt for this person spilled forth.
Her other hand lifted to slide over his cheek and she whispered. "It's time for me to tell it like it is then...."

She leaned forward, seeing this beautiful man for the person he was showing at this moment, not the hidden playful creature that seemed to plague their time together most of the time.
Her lips pressed to his gently, she felt him stiffen but then after a moment his other hand snaked into her hair to cup the back of her neck, holding her to deep the kiss.
She thrilled when his tongue delved into hers, tasting her deep and the love she held for this soul in her arms spilled forth.
Breaking the kiss her green gaze stared into his dazed browns.

"I love you." she said breathlessly.

His smile was like the sun, bright, happy and utterly blinding.

"I love you too my little one. Always have. Always will."

Keep You Wild

"This is too dangerous. We need to go back." he said as they inched their way along the pathway. The drop off to one side lead to the river they could hear rushing next to them and he felt a shiver of fear race through him. What if she fell, he would not reach her in time. Fuck this girl was insane. Just to get her picture they had to inch their way along some ledge next to a river in the dark.

A soft laugh floated to him and he saw the flashlight beam illuminate the path before him. It opened up to a walkway with a handrail on the river side.

He grabbed at the railing and cursed softly.

"I heard that." she said from up ahead and laughed. "You are fine. We are fine. I have been on this path a thousand times."

He felt her hand take his and he looked into her eyes as the flashlight gave enough light to see her smiling face.
He loved her and would do anything to make her happy. It was that simple.
They were always out doing crazy things and he had to admit it was thrilling.
His arms slipped around her, dragging her small form against his and he felt the need to posses her here and now.
His lips crashed to hers and she molded her body to his with a moan of pleasure. This is what he craved every moment of everyday. This sweet taste and sound of her desire.

She broke the kiss smiling up at him. One fingertip slid along his temple, pushing one dark strand of his hair away.

"You keep me safe. I'll keep you wild. Deal?" she said softly with a grin on her face.

He squeezed her and whispered. "I will always keep you safe and loved. And you make me wild every moment of day my gorgeous little one."

"Good." she smiled and tugged him the rest of the way down the path. As they popped out onto the ledge he saw a valley of twinkling lights before him. It was awe inspiring to see such a sprawl of humanity while they stood on the top of the world in solitude.

"Just the view is worth it." she said while she set her camera up on a tripod.

"Being with you is worth it." he said, sliding a hand over her hip.

"You keep touching me and you may find yourself on your back on cold granite." she said with a laugh.

"Oh...well that sounds like a mission I must take." His words barely left his lips before his hands were sliding up under her shirt.
Her laugh echoed through out the night and he knew he was the luckiest man in the world.

Just Scars

The razor blade slid slowly across her skin. Not too deep. Just enough to see the crimson pearl upward and to feel the sting of pain. She bit her lip as another line of little red pearls appeared next to the first.
The pain washed over her like an aphrodisiac. This was what she wanted to feel. The pain of her failures. She deserved this for she was not like everyone else. She was an outcast. A loner.
A hiss of pain on the next cut into her skin. A little too deep and a shudder of fear washed through her as the thought came; what if I just cut all the way down. Let the blood flow until she just went to sleep in a pool of red regret.
She tossed the bloody blade into the sink and sat there, tears streaming down her face.
Loser.
Yeah she heard that today.
She heard it so much she believed them now. Why not.
Her fingers ran over the scars on her arm. Long sleeves tomorrow for sure. She had been asked more than once about the scars. She just said; just scars, that's all they were.
No big deal . But that was a lie. A big lie.
A tear slid down her cheek and with a spurt of anger she grabbed a black eyeliner pencil from her makeup bag on the counter and began to write on the mirror. When she was done she stepped back and admired her work.
Not bad.
She felt a little better when she snapped a picture of her words.Take that world. Fuck You.

They aren't just scars.
They are the demons I fought at 3am.
They are my insecurities, my deepest fears
and my lonely nights.
They are the insults I have received
and the emotions I cannot contain.
They are a part of me
and are what I have become.

Everyday Magic

"I don't think magic exists. I mean there are no such things as witches with magic streaming out of their fingers turning people to frogs."

She watched her friend across the table. Her cynicism sometimes got under her skin but then she had a right to her opinion. Her life was not a good one. It was filled with television alone on the couch while her dog sat by her side.
She did believe in magic. It tingled along her skin when something grand was happening and she wished she could share such a feeling with her down trodden friend.
Taking a sip  of her beer she thought of something and said softly.

"I do believe in an everyday sort of magic - the inexplicable connectedness we sometimes experience with places, people, works of art and the like; the eerie appropriateness of moments of synchronicity; the whispered voice, the hidden presence, when we think we're alone."

Her friend had become very still as she spoke. The words were like a spell, weaving it's everyday magic between them.

"You my friend, are a work of art. You are magic in human form. I guess I should believe in magic for you always have the right things to say to lift my mood. To make me see the bright side and smile. Thank you." she said as she placed her hand over hers on the table.

Smiling she shook her head. "I'm not magic but I know it's out there and I want to share it. Thank you."