Bad Boys

"Fuck you." she yelled into her phone then slammed it into her pocket. She would not cry. No. Not this time. It was amazing how she was used to this mess of a life she was in.
She knew now he just did not care about her. Oh , hell not more than himself.
Damn selfish little prick.
She slipped behind the wheel and drove home with tears rolling down her face.
Her phone buzzed and her heart leaped out of her chest. Maybe it was him calling to apologize. To finally tell her he loved her as she loved him.
The phone showed it was her guy friend calling and her heart sank back into it's sad little parade in her chest.

"Hi." she said sullenly as she sat at a red light.

"Hey....what did he do now?" she heard the concern in his voice and it pained her. This man she was talking to was the sweetest thing she had ever met but she was not attracted to him at all. Though he did have amazing eyes.

"He is just being an ass as usual." she said as she drove.

"Yeah well...you need to just realize now what he is about. He is bad. He is selfish. You deserve better little one. Much better." she smiled and then started to relax.
He began to talk about his day, the silly things his co-workers did all day long always cracked her up when coming from him.
By the time she reached her house she felt so much better and she knew she could face the next day.

Walking to her car in the lot after work she glanced around. Hoping to see if the one she desired was watching her. It was always her fantasy that he came running to her, telling her how wrong he was and how much he adored her. It never happened and she knew now it never would.
Her steps slowed as she reached her car and the paper on her windshield made her heart speed up.

"What the hell..." she plucked the large sheet off and began to read the words printed there.

I heard you like bad boys.Those guys who act like they don't care about you, which makes you try harder to make them like you. Those guys who wouldn't reply to your texts until later on, which makes you wait around and miss him more. Those guys who act distant from you, which makes you try harder to get their attention. Those guys who know they can get a lot of girls, which makes you more afraid to lose them. Those guys who would show you they're interested one day then act different the next day, which makes you too confused to make a decision to leave him. Thsoe guys who will make you fall for them but they can care less, which makes you stuck and not being able to move on cause you care too much. Has anyone ever told you you deserve better than that? You probably have and you know what? It's about time you realize that. If a guy likes you, he'll meet you halfway. Simple as that. Don't settle for a bad boy when you deserve a good man. Sincerely, A guy who cares.

Tears had blurred the final line and she turned to see her friend standing there roses in hand with the sweetest smile on his face.

"Too much?" he said and shifted from foot to foot nervously.

"No, just enough to get through my thick skull." she said softly and moved toward him. Her heart was bursting with the realization that the person she loved was this sweet man. The one who made her root beer floats on sunny Sunday afternoons while they finished gardening. The guy who played in the rain with her and stamped in puddles even though he wore his good boots. The sweet man who always was at her side when she needed him and told her more than once what a wonderful woman she was.
Her fingers touched his lips, those sweet lips that said so many sweet things to her over the time they had known one another.

"I know a good man....and I hope he can forgive a foolish little girl." she said as she stared into his eyes.
His eyes had widened and she knew she had surprised him.

"I forgive you....always have and I always will little one." he said softly, his fingers trembled as they stroked her cheek.

She stood on her tip toes and pressed her lips to his and was lost in the sensation of finally finding what she had been searching for.

Love.

Fallen

The wind was cool this evening and he stood watching the stars shine in the dark sky. He knew that he had to tread carefully around this woman. He knew if he even cracked a little of his heart open she would take it and cherish it. He could not have that. That would make him love her.
Damn, he already loved her.
He watched her walking towards him across the parking lot. The smile on her lips made him want to wipe it off with deep kisses. The desire to hear her sigh his name in passion was almost overwhelming. When he caught the scent of her perfume he almost.....
Her arms were around him, body pressed against his in a tight hug.
Oh these hugs were a delight and a torture. He loved the feel of her little body against him and how tightly she clung to him.
He remembered one night where they stood wrapped in one another arms for quite some time. Neither wanting to let go and it was the most amazing feeling. Then the amazement shifted to fear. He could not let her in. Never into his heart.
When she leaned back to look into his eyes with a grin he felt himself falling into a cyclone of emotions.
He wanted to kiss her. Dip his tongue into her sweetness and know her in every way.

He'd fallen for this beautiful girl, who was so much more than pretty. She was smart. She was funny. She was brave. She had a past that wasn't all that lovely, yet she still put a smile on her face and never looked back. She was a lionhearted girl and as much as she liked to say she didn't deserve him, he often felt it was the other way around.

She gave her soul to him. She was always there facing any trial he had with her but he was not there for her as much as she needed him to be.
He knew if he stood in her presence too much he would blurt out the words.

"I love you." his whisper split the quiet air and his heart stopped.

Did he just say that out loud? Panic filled him but it was cut short by her hands on each side of his face, the look of pure delight in her green eyes and then the feel of her lips pressed to his.
The world stopped in that moment and then it spun off its axis when he heard her soft whisper.

"I love you too."

The Devil on my Mind

~Tucker Max~

"I am a fool." she said as she stood watching the traffic cruise up and down the street from the window of the office she stood in.
Arms crossed she felt cold to her soul. She should have known better than even to try to go back there. To even think that after all this time he would miss her. That he would see her and light up with joy at her mere presence.
She set herself up for disappointment for sure.

"Well, you aren't a fool but it was foolish to try to contact him after all this time. You know if he cared at all he would be with you no matter what." Her friend said from her seat in the corner of the room.

She shook her head, her gaze watching the train slide by down below.

"He cares but not the way I want him to." she sighed softly then said with bitterness in her voice.

"You know the real truth? It is that the devil doesn't come to you with his red face and horns, he comes to you disguised as everything you've every wanted. Then you are swept into hell where the torments are lengthy and painful."

She went silent watching another train, heading in the opposite directly begin its slow move. She wished she was on a train going away from here.
In her car driving away from her life of pain and self imposed misery.
Her arms tightened as a chill washed over her.
Someday she would be the one someone chose first.

Sweet Sadness

~Amelie Pascual~

She stood in the bathroom staring into the mirror. Her hair was just too flat. Were there more lines on her face than yesterday?
A hand smoothed her hair then stilled as one tear slid down her cheek.
Her gaze flicked to the doors to the stalls behind her but she knew she was alone.
Alone in some public bathroom crying over a loss she cannot bear to think about for too long.
A thought touches her worn mind and with a small smile she begins to fish around in her purse.

"There you are." she says softly and with a flourish, begins to write on the mirror with black eyeliner.

I am not depressed.
I can still smile at pretty things.
And laugh when jokes are funny.
I can still talk to people.
And enjoy nice days.
But when I go inside,
When I am alone,
There is something broken.
And I fall into a sadness so sweet that it engulfs me.
I look in the mirror.
And I don't like what I see.
And the tears always fall.
When I'm falling asleep and I miss something
That doesn't exist.
I am not depressed.
I've just been sad for awhile.
But I can still find the light.
I can still smile.

The eyeliner is tossed to the counter. She washes her hands and then touches up her makeup.

One last look at the black words on the mirror she was satisfied. Maybe someone will get some comfort that there is still a smile to be had in sadness.

Not a Casual Love

"You know it's too much!" he growled as he stalked a few steps away from her in the parking lot.

She watched him, shoulders slightly hunched, his movements jerky and quick and she knew he was angry but she did not give a fuck. This drama filled poor excuse for a friendship was done and she was not one to hide how she felt. It was like lying. She did not lie.
He whirled around and a year ago she would have flinched at the anger flushing his face but not now.
Her chin rose a notch and her gaze stared him down. She was done and she would have her say.

He stepped forward and angrily spat out, "You and I have gone too fast with all of this. I get quiet with you because it is all overwhelming."

She began to go tell him to fuck off but then she saw it in his eyes, not anger, but fear. He was lashing out due to the fear he had inside of himself. Her heart twisted a little and then she knew what she needed to do.
She met his step and soon with a step of her own she was inches from him, staring up into those wonderful dark eyes that even in this moment, flashing with a mixture of angry fear still melted her core.
He went silent, a wary expression on his face but the anger in his eyes shifted to one of desire.
This is what always happened to them when they were close. Fire.

"I don't love casually. When I love it's fierce. It's my soul ripped wide open and raw. It's my whole heart on display. It's all I have and everything I know, handed over to you, like a gift. Unwrap it gently." she said softly as her fingertips touched his cheek.

She watched the emotions fly through his eyes until the one she wanted remained. His own love for her.
He placed his hand over hers while it rested on his cheek. She knew this was hard for him but it was for her as well and this could not only be about his fear, she had her own worries.
it was time to work this out.

"I love you/" he said softly. "I...I....damn...so hard..." his eyes flitted away from hers. Nervousness washed over him and she felt it sting her own body with its intensity.

"I love you too and I know we have many hurdles. A lot of water under the bridge but together we can get through this and have something amazing." her voice was gentle. She knew he was scared to go down the path again, to end up in the same place he had been and face that pain of loss.
She understood the road ahead would be tough, unorthodox but it would be worth it. She would make sure it was worth it.
Open. Loving and Free.

What it's Like to be a Writer

She stood in line with the book under her arm, craning her neck down the snaking length of other hopefuls waiting to meet the writer of her favorite novel. Of course, like many here, she was an aspiring writer.
Her life was filled with magical valleys where unicorns drank from crystal clear streams, dragons flew in the night sky, love always had a happy ending, and a worm hole could open up any moment to take her away to a far galaxy.
Sometimes her mind was about to burst from it all.
Her writing was praised. Her writing was short and unfinished and that bothered her.
Life got in the way most of the time.
Bosses do not like dragons flying around the office nor unicorns drinking from the fountain. Of course there are no happy endings as written and a worm hole was something she saw in the grass near the parking area that really contained an earthworm.

Soon she was in front of him and her grin was wide. She wondered how many times he heard how each fan was also an aspiring writer.

"Hello" he said with a smile.
"Hi..." she said smiling back and handed him the book. She watched him sign his name and then as he was done, handing the book back she decided to just ask.

"How do you keep your moments from spilling out all over the place? I mean, my moments, my fantasies are so messy at times that I swear they would consume the unwary." she said in a rush.

He leaned back in his chair, eyes narrowing but a smile on his lips
"I don't keep them in check at all. I let them get messy all over the place. I mean disgusting, sloppy messy where people could step in them." he nodded with a grin and leaned forward.
"That's how I keep it real....well in my world."

"I can imagine but my life does not allow for such wild abandon." she said with a sadness that she did try to keep hidden but he noticed. His hand fell over hers and he said softly.

"I want you to do me a favor. Close your eyes."

She stared at him and he nodded, "Go ahead...close your eyes, forget this place."
So she closed her eyes and he began to speak again.

"Take a deep breath and empty your day. Erase all of your present fears. Now find your way back to that secret moment when you let them break you. That place in time when all those things you promised yourself as a child; all those starlit magic filled worlds you swore you'd never give up were handed over for what you have now. Go back to that moment."
He squeezed her hand and she was lost in those starlit memories. The bustling, noisy room faded into nothing as she concentrated.
"And with everything you are - by tooth, by nail, by word and by bone - steal it back. It is your right by birth to be who you were meant to be. It is then, and only then that you will know what its like to be a writer."
His voice faded and she knew he was right. By all the nine hell's he was right.

She opened her eyes and looked into his. He smiled then said. "What's your name?"

"Sky..." she said softly and then watched him write in her book once again. Closed the book and handed it back to her.

"Go write Sky. You have the gift. I can see it in your eyes."

"Thank you so much and I will......I will go do just that." She grinned and turned away realizing everyone behind her was staring in awe but she just kept her grin on her face and walked away.

Out on the sidewalk she opened the book to see what he added to her book.

Sky, write like no one is watching and be who you are meant to be. A writer.

Empty Paper

Her gaze went to the snow falling outside and a chill washed over her small form.
Spring was so strange here at times. One day warm with birds chirping in the trees and the next the snow is flying like winter has started all over again.
Her hand slid over the blank piece of paper on the desk and she dropped her eyes to it.

Blank.
No matter how she tried she could not pull up the emotions to write a single word.
She saw his picture today and for a moment there was life within her soul. Even if it was a sharp, breath stealing pain, she felt alive for a moment. Shit, she was shocked to feel anything at this point.
Her mind raced and she knew, yes I will be able to write tonight. To let the emotions that are so tightly bundled away come unraveled in a torrent of not so neat explosions of anguish and love.

I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty.
And I could not have
described it any better.

She stood and tossed the pen aside on the desk.
Empty. Yes she was empty.
She walked away and did not look back for there was nothing to see.