Understood

All alone she stood at the waters edge. The sun was setting in the west and the forest behind her had grown very quiet. The only sound she heard was the lashing of the waves to the sand at her feet.
Her heart had hardened in the time she spent alone rebuilding her life and that was just fine by her.
Sentiment and love was something she could not afford to even think about now.
All she cared about was getting through each day with sanity intact.

Her chin came up as she felt a familiar presence walk up behind her.

"We should get back to the lodge. The dinner rush is still ahead."Dillon's voice said softly.

She nodded and then let out a sigh. Dinner rush. She needed to check on the steaks that had been marinating all day. That was the special tonight and she was positive they would run out before the night was over so she made sure the salmon and chicken were stocked up on.
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She began to turn away but paused as the sunlight gleamed off a ship in the distance. A cruise ship heading to the wilds of Alaska she was sure. Her heart tightened and a memory popped up in her minds eye and she gasped.
He stood there before her, smiling and waving a knife in animation as he talked. Chopping celery for the base of a soup. That had been a grand night of wine food and talk that ended with epic loving.
Then she knew she had caused him more pain that he needed to carry. She reminded him of everything in the past he was trying to forget. His ghosts came forth more and more so she took a step away and realized the only thing she could do was leave him be. The only thing that was right to do was walk away and let the demons sink back into their black hole.
She did that and he went on to have a life worth living for.
That ship reminded her that even though we may float away from those we love it does not mean that we do not love them still.

Dillon came to stand next to her.
"It's alright. Sometimes you need to let it out." he said softly. He knew her story He was the only one who knew what she had left behind and why.

She turned to him with eyes bright with tears. They slid down her cheeks and she made no move to wipe them away.

"There were days I wanted to go back and take what I felt was mine .I know he would have stayed. But the pain in his eyes was so hard to see. The fear he tried to hide with bravado or anger showed me I was in the wrong.."

She shook her head. "That ship I just saw reminded me that love is not simple. Love is not roses and wine every day."

Whirling around she saw the ship was gone and the painful lump of emotion in her throat made it so hard to speak but she knew she had to say it.

"I finally understand what true love means Love means that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be. That's love. That's what I believe in. And sometimes it is not yours to even hold"

One deep breath and she turned to her worried friend. She wiped her eyes and smiled.

"Let's go make some magic in the kitchen for our guests"

She reached for his hand and led him back to the lodge with a heavy heart but lighter spirit.