Lost Girl - The Final Entry

This is the final entry of some writing I did about a year ago. I am stringing all the tidbits together to create one hell of a tale. This section got the most response so I thought I would share it here.

 

 

The rock was cold but it did not bother her in the least. Her whole soul was cold now so the seeping coolness of the rock she sat upon just reminded her that she belonged here. Cold, lost and alone.This was a new place she had found upon her wanderings and it fit. There were no mountains in any direction, not a tree in sight, no river flowing past and no wolf watching her with those intense eyes. In this place all was barren, all was colorless and cold and this suited her heart just right.

Staring out towards the horizon she watched the sun creep downward, marking the completion of yet another heart wrenching day. As habit dictated she reached down to grab her pack but felt nothing beside her. A glance down reminded her that the pack of dreams was not there as had she thrown it into the river the other day. Her dreams were nothing, they were dust, and they were gone.

What she had thought she had wanted had shifted so many times and then had changed into something she did not quite understand. She wished she could sit and explain it to someone, to let them know what she felt, what she thought her dreams were and how they came to such a single, solitary vision. But they will not hear her and so she ran away to find this place, this barren place where she did not have to hurt anyone anymore, where she could let her tears fall unseen. To this place where she could talk to the rock, to the withered, yellow grass around her and tell her captive audience what she felt. She could sit and pretend that all was wonderful, happy and joyous in her life. She could run her hands through the dark fur of the wolf, laugh as they played in the river and walked through the sheltering forest. She could almost smile at those dreams but they had been thrown away, her pack lost to her now and nothing inside her was strong enough anymore to hold onto dreams.

The sun disappeared from sight and the twilight descended. Stars began to show their twinkling joy and this brought tears to her eyes. In the past her exuberance and love of life would have her tracing the constellations in the sky with smiles of happiness. She would dance to the song of the night as moonlight bathed her form. She would whisper prayers of love and light to the Goddess.

Now she sat in the descending darkness, eyes downcast so she could not see the twinkling of the stars or the radiance of the moon. She did not deserve their precious light; she did not deserve their unconditional love. Her gaze stared at the horizon, the last smudges of light fading fast and she wished she could fade away as well. Tears streamed down her face, no one could see, no one would know and she felt no one would care.

Darkness claimed the barren meadow and took the lost girl away. The pack of dreams had opened while floating in the river and each dream dissolved in the water becoming nothing. The lost girl became nothing but a memory, a blip of something on someone’s heart, a passing remembrance in someone’s mind. Nothing substantial. Nothing grand. Nothing at all.