Slowly Giving Up

Worthless.
Forgettable.
Ugly.
Invisible.

She wrote the words down on the napkin over and over. In cursive. In print. In block letters. In tiny letters. Backwards. Sideways. Upside down.
No matter how they were laid out they said one thing.
She was nothing.

Bleak green eyes lifted to watch the world fly by.
She had stepped off the roller coaster at the top.
She was going to just slide off the rails.

She was slowly giving up and that terrified her.
Where was her will to fight?
Where was her desire to just enjoy whatever came her way?
When did things go wrong.

Goodness, they had always been wrong.
She had just ignored it.
She was good at ignoring.
She did not know that till now when she could not ignore the pain any longer.

Worthless.
Forgettable.
Ugly.
Invisible.

She wrote on the other side of the white napkin in small print.