Do Not Let Your Fire Go Out

The traffic streamed by the coffee shop window in a constant blur of color and flickering sunshine. One hand wrapped loosely around a cooling cup of coffee she thought about how she ended up here, alone.
Time seemed to fly by and she could not believe years had passed since she left. Since she heard his voice. Since she seen his dark eyes. A soft sigh escaped her and her gaze dropped to the tablet before her. The screen dark it having shut off from not being touched in awhile.
A soft snort came at that thought, yeah no one touched her in a long time, hell who would want to.

The familiar knot of pain ballooned up in her chest and then filled her throat. It pissed her off sometimes that the tears and the pain could come so easily. How just thinking about things from the past made her fill with pain.
She took a deep breath, lifting a hand to brush a tear away.
This coffee shop became her home away from home each evening after work. No one bothered her here. No one noticed her once she sat in her corner table by the window.
No hellos. No goodbyes. That suited her. If she did not have those then she would not get hurt.
She would not be left behind for another. No pain.
Yeah well, maybe pain from being lonely.

"My dear.." a woman's voice cut through her haze and her gaze lifted to see the older woman who owned the small shop standing at her table. Her gypsy outfit, wild blonde hair streaked with black and at least five rainbow scarves around her hair and neck told her that she was a hippie in the new age. Before she could utter a word the woman smiled, then spoke again.

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists....it is real...it is possible...it's yours.

With those words echoing in her head she watched the woman swirl away in a flurry of color and drifting scents of incense to the back of the shop where she disappeared behind a beaded curtain.

The words kept flitting through her mind as she stood, gathering her things to head home. She did dwell on the not's. How she was not quite so pretty and interesting so she was passed over time and time again. She worried over the not-yet's because she felt the time was now but everyone else told her, not yet. Then those not-at-all's were the killers because her dreams became those not-at-all's.
She knew she was allowing herself to die inside. To be a shriveled up shell of what she once was and in that moment she felt the spark, that little spark that kept the coal of her desire to live burning.
There was heat within her she just needed to fan the flames. But how could she do that when she felt that her hero's cape was more a cloak of invisibility than anything else. She would never fly in the air with a red cape flapping behind her and she would never jump building to building with a black mask saving people from themselves. She was just a little girl trapped in a woman's body that always felt as if she were playing dress up in the grown up world.
That spark flared into a small flame and her body physically jerked.
Why play in the grown up world. Why not just be who you are; that girl with the multicolored cape who flew in to rescue those she loved and if they had to leave then she needed to cling to the fact that they trusted her enough to put their own battered soul in her hands for healing.
They loved her. They trusted her.
Time to put that rainbow cape on and go out there to the world of dreams. Ride the coattails of other dreams if you have to but get back to those clouds.

With those thoughts she turned to walk out the door.
Upon reaching it a man on the other side held it open for her, his dark blue eyes twinkling at her as he stepped aside.

"Thank you." she smiled, looking directly into his eyes.

"My pleasure..." he said as she walked past then she halted at his next words.

"Tis a pity you are on your way out. I see you here often and was hoping to talk to you sometime over coffee. I see you are an avid reader. " He held up his tablet. "I am as well and perhaps we could share some thoughts over books?"

His blue eyes seemed filled with hope and she felt her little pilot light flare up into a fire. This man noticed her. This gorgeous dark haired blue eyed man noticed her but she never noticed him. Realization dawned that of course she would not notice him as she kept her gaze on her book or out the window. Too afraid to allow herself to look into another person's eyes to see only rejection or dismissal. She needed to notice more what went on around her and accept what happened. Great Goddess she was a fool.
Here was her opportunity. Time to flap that hero cape with some moves.

"Well....I have had coffee but I've not had dinner and was headed next door for some great tacos. Want to join me?" she said with a smile.

"You know what...I think I will. By the way I am Alex." he held out his hand to her, letting the door swing closed as they stood on the sidewalk.

She placed her hand into his, felt the electric shock of feeling human skin against hers again. That fire shifted into a little bit of bonfire.

"Pleasure to meet you Alex, I'm Sky."

He inclined his head and smiled. "Pleasure is all mine. Shall we?" He nodded to the door to the restaurant and she smiled.
Finally. She was starting to live again.
Up, Up and Away!