Close to You

Her gaze slid over to him as he sat beside her on the bench.
The curve of his neck, the line of his jaw were places where she wished to press her lips to.
She wanted to feel his body shiver as her lips pressed to the sensitive skin of his neck.
To hear him sigh with desire as her lips trailed along his jaw.

Her mind raced with how he would take it if she just pressed her small body against him and whisper in his ear.
"Hard to sit here and be close to you, and not kiss you."
She imagined in her day dreams he would pull her onto his lap ,those gorgeous blue eyes would be dark with desire and he would whisper back.
"Then kiss me my little one. I've been waiting."
When their lips touched it would be as if the world just ceased to be and only they existed.
Shivers of desire would take over their bodies and they would soon be tangled in one another arms as the need to be closer overcame them.

He looked at her and smiled as they sat on the bench.
She melted but did not move.

Damn.

His Eyes

He had beautiful eyes.
The kind you could lost in
and I guess I did.

I remember really looking into his eyes and realizing the gorgeous blue tones within.
Then I was knocked off my feet when those eyes were lit up with laughter.
He has the most amazing smile and when that smile reaches his eyes it is like a shock of lightning to my heart.
All I could think in that moment while I caught my breath was oh shit.
That then was followed by the sweeping emotions of loving someone who was just your friend.
Who did not look at you the way you wished.
Who did not want to spend evenings talking on the phone or roaming the outdoors.
Who did not want to share a bottle of wine by a fire.
Who stayed away just enough to make you realize this was all it could be.

My heart sits here aching with the desire and love I feel for this man with the smile that melts my soul and eyes that I could stare into forever.
I withstand the ache for having this precious soul in my life is important.
If it is to be only friends, then I will be the best friend he has ever had.
I will respect his boundaries and cheer him on as he makes his life decisions.

Will there be sad tears in bed at night when I am alone? Yes.
Will there be moments of anger where I want him so bad I hate him? Yes.
Will there be times when I lay prostate in my bed aching so much for him? Yes.

But I will survive because he needs me. I will be his little rock to prop up on and know he has a safe place to be.

Hesitation

I had a plan today.
This morning I would sit in my chair, turn on my computer and go about my day.
Then when the morning had waned I would then say something to you.
A small hello, just to show you that I am only doing what you are doing to me.
That slow stepping away. The changing of small things in our relationship.
Making me not as important.
Saving my battered little heart.

I worried over a question in the back of my mind.

I could see that our conversations were smaller, had less depth
I could see you were not telling me things that were on your mind anymore
I noticed that things had changed with how we went about our day.
I realized I was not as important anymore.

In your hesitation I found my answer.
The answer was yes to the question of our closeness was fading.
You were pushing me away. You were cutting me slowly out of your life.

Then I understood that you are in the same place I am.......

You just cannot be  just friends with someone you are in love with.

You Are My Warrior

You are not a prince on a white horse with a feather in your hat.
You are a warrior on a wild steed with your hair free
A sword to vanquish your enemies.
Arms of steel to crush those who oppose you.
Eyes of blue that see all, know all.

I am the maiden who watches for her warrior.
Wishing for his strong arms to keep her from harm.
I would wash away the battle of the day for you.
Cook for you to keep you strong.
Bring you pleasure to wipe the worries of the world.

My dream is that you, my magnificent warrior, would want me.
Would raise your sword to protect me.
Would wash the worries of the day from my green eyes.
And would bring me pleasure and own me to my core.

This is my fairy tale.
I do not need a prince. I need my warrior.