His Eyes

He had beautiful eyes.
The kind you could lost in
and I guess I did.

I remember really looking into his eyes and realizing the gorgeous blue tones within.
Then I was knocked off my feet when those eyes were lit up with laughter.
He has the most amazing smile and when that smile reaches his eyes it is like a shock of lightning to my heart.
All I could think in that moment while I caught my breath was oh shit.
That then was followed by the sweeping emotions of loving someone who was just your friend.
Who did not look at you the way you wished.
Who did not want to spend evenings talking on the phone or roaming the outdoors.
Who did not want to share a bottle of wine by a fire.
Who stayed away just enough to make you realize this was all it could be.

My heart sits here aching with the desire and love I feel for this man with the smile that melts my soul and eyes that I could stare into forever.
I withstand the ache for having this precious soul in my life is important.
If it is to be only friends, then I will be the best friend he has ever had.
I will respect his boundaries and cheer him on as he makes his life decisions.

Will there be sad tears in bed at night when I am alone? Yes.
Will there be moments of anger where I want him so bad I hate him? Yes.
Will there be times when I lay prostate in my bed aching so much for him? Yes.

But I will survive because he needs me. I will be his little rock to prop up on and know he has a safe place to be.