The Reason

Irritation rose in her and she almost growled out loud.
Good hell, she was done trying to get a conversation going anymore.
It seemed he had so much else on his mind. Always turned inward.
The conversations had dried up to the point where they might well start commenting on the weather and how worn the fucking carpet was in the hallway.

Fuck this.
She slammed her purse on the desk and rammed her things in.
Out she stormed thinking she was done and as she turned the corner still muttering curses she collided with a warm tall wall.

"What the fuck!"she cried out and stumbled back but strong hands caught her upper arms to steady her.

"Damn you almost took me off my feet. That would have been a great accomplishment little one."
Those gorgeous blue eyes gleamed with mischief down at her and she felt the anger rise up hot.
Those damn eyes. That amazing smile. All tormented her night after night Fuck this.
She pulled her arms from his grasp and stepped back.

"I wish I would have knocked you on your ass." she growled at him as she went to step past him.

"Whoa there. What the hell?" he turned to follow her. "What's wrong?"
His long strides caught up to her and he followed her to the car.

The anger shifted from white hot to just pain in her chest where she felt her heart breaking over and over again. Suddenly she just did not care what she said. Fuck him if he got offended. They were friends and friends should be able to talk openly.
Whirling around she pointed at him and with a shaky voice she said,

"What the hell is happening to us? You have checked out and it hurts. You might not see it as a big deal but I sure do. I want so much  more from you but I am respecting your fucking boundaries and I want to talk, want to drink want to just be around you. Is that so goddamned bad?"

He stood there mouth open and then he frowned. Fuck she thought, here comes the asshole she knows resides within him. She steeled himself for his barrage or dismissal.

"I did not mean to hurt you but damn woman, its hard. So fucking hard just to be your friend when I want...." he shook his head then sighed, "....more."

Frozen to the spot she just watched him with wide eyes. Did he really just say that? She took a step towards him.

"Yeah?" she asked softly, staring up into his worried eyes.

"Well yeah.....the situation is not...normal." he shook his head.

"I know...I know its not normal nor easy but damn we have something amazing here. I don't want to bash down barriers, I respect that, but I just want to be with you. I adore you. You make me laugh. I love seeing you smile. Hell, I want to be the reason why you fall asleep with your phone in your hand." All the words tumbled out and the tears filled her eyes.
Great Goddess, all she wanted was to be in his life, to be important.
One tear escaped down her cheek and he brushed it away with his thumb turning her face up to his.

"I have fallen asleep with my phone in my hand while I thought of telling you exactly how I feel." he leaned down and took her lips. The kiss took away any worries she had in her head that he did not care, she realized in that moment he cared just as much as she did.