Complicated

He dragged his hand through his hair and sighed softly.
He knew he had been an asshole for weeks but all of his shit was weighing heavily on him.
When she told him she was tired of being shit on he knew he was part of this even though she never said it was his attitude lately,

The sun was setting and he knew she wanted him to come see her but damn it all. It was so hard to sit there watching those gorgeous green eyes sparkle at him with joy, listen to her sweet chatter and want her so badly it made his jaw ache from clenching it so tight.

Her eyes were the mirror to all of what she was feeling. He knew her so well now and he could hear in her voice the sweetness, the weariness, the pain. When he looked at her he knew she was hiding all the pain he inflicted on her but it shimmered in those green depths.
But she never berated him. Never called him to task, Always was there holding out her hands to help him through whatever shit he was putting himself through at the moment.

There was one drunken evening at dinner when he just laid his head on the back of the booth where they sat and stared into those mesmerizing eyes. She met my gaze and I was dumbfounded for I knew what I saw there and it scared me to the core but then it also brought me joy. That little thing loved me and I loved her but it was the most complicated, tangled mess he had ever ran across.

She was the most beautiful, complicated thing I'd ever seen. A tangled mess of silky string and all I wanted of life was to sit down cross-legged and untie her knots.
I wanted to unravel all her secrets and soothe all her worries.
I wanted to whisper in her ear at night how much I adored her. How much I loved her.

But I left instead.
Now I cannot see her green eyes.  I do not hear her voice. I only see her typed words on a screen and I miss her.
Terribly.
Nothing can be done of it so it is what it is. I move on with half my heart left behind in the silky hands of my soul.