Not Like This

This place that I am in does not bode well for my girlish mind.
I find myself slipping into darkness so easily with one misunderstood sentence.
The days where I wonder where I stand in your life.
Then you say or do something that fans the little spark of hope in my heart that I do have a at least a sliver of your affection.

I will admit that I am tired of working around the moods and being ignored.
I stand in my walled off friend space you have placed me in and I wonder if I will ever leave this place.
Desolate at times it brings me to my knees in frustration.
For I want to be in your arms. I want to make you smile. I want to whisper I love you while I make love to you.
I want you to know you are loved, cared for, and wanted beyond all measure.
Is it so hard to even tell me you like my hair, my eyes or tell me how happy I make you?

I find myself in confusion and I've come to understand and believe that we've all felt it at some point or another that place where you just get tired. Tired of trying Tired of fighting just to stay in the same place. But you keep fighting because of that little voice that refuses to be silent that says; it doesn't end like this.

It can't end like this.

For the love of all that is holy, it can't end like this with me standing in my walled off prison while you ride away.