Wait

(Quote Pulled from Pinterest - no Author found)

No response.
Did she really expect anything else to happen?
Did she really think that her well written words would spark something within him to have him change his ways? Have him run to her side with apologies and vows to always be there for her?
Of course not.
She was a fool.
At least this time she only had hope for the magical outcome for a short time.
During that short time, while browsing through quotes one popped up and made her nod her head at the computer screen.
She could hear the words whispered to her from across a great distance.
She read it out loud as she sat in her room alone about to cry:

"Wait for the person who pursues you, the one who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kind of person who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person. Wait for the person who will be your best friend, the only person who will drop everything to be with you at any time no matter what the circumstances."

She nodded at her computer again and she swore she felt it smile.

Realize

Years had passed and there were times she never even thought of those who had left.
Then there were times when she would run across a picture and pause.
She would wait for the twisting pain in her heart that always would come but after time, the pain faded into nothing but a faint twinge of memory.

All those tears she cried. Were they not real? Were they something in the moment only? Not to last the test of time?

She gave so much love, kindness and respect and did not see hardly any returned.
It took a long time for her to understand why when those dark eyes would shine with so much desire and love but the actions would not match. The silence reigned so much that she felt as she was dealing with a mute.

What you eventually realize is some people won't ever see your heart; even when you show it to them.
It is then  you'll understand, they're still searching for their own.

Razors and Maps

"You have been so calm. I cannot believe that you are not falling apart after what has happened." her friend said from across the room.

She glanced up from the drink she was mixing at the counter in the kitchen and shrugged.
"I am done falling apart. I did that a few too many times and where did it get me?" she said then sipped at her drink.
Vodka, the drink that takes the pain away.

"Yeah but this time it is done. Truly done. You sent that email and got no response. You basically said goodbye to another person whom you love." Her friend sat on the couch shaking her head because she just did not understand.
The problem was that she, herself, understood all too well what happened in both cases and in reality, it had nothing to do with her. Those boys, cause they were not men for running away like thieves in the night with her heart, left because because they could not handle it. Could not handle looking her in the eye with the truth.
Another sip of the vodka and she sighed loudly,.

"When you love someone.... truly love them, friend or lover, you lay your heart open to them." she said as she walked towards where her friend sat. She could feel the lump in her throat growing as she thought about the pain she had endured, the loss, the feelings of not being good enough. She shook it off then continued.
"You give them a part of yourself that you give to no one else, and you let them inside a part of you that only they can hurt - you literally hand them the razor with a map of where to cut deepest and most painfully on your heart and soul."

She took another drink and sat down beside her friend on the couch.

"You can either crumble under that pain, realizing that the ones you loved the most just tore you apart or you can allow the healing to scar you up. Then once those scars are in place you can look down at the mass of pain that lies there and face it down. You can learn from it and realize that whatever they did was not to you. It was not about you. Actually, it had nothing to do with you. It was all about them, their fear and their need to run away from something they could not control."

She downed her drink and stared her friend in the eye and said.

"But I can control how I react to such things. How I perceive what happened and as I took a step backwards I saw that I was really the one who escaped with only a few scars for my trouble. They will never have healing because they never faced what they had before them. A lifetime of what ifs. That, my friend, is something I would not trade my scarred up heart for."

Author Note and Chatter

    I was reading over some of my old work within this blog and can see that I have struggled through some intense, emotional times. I do not regret those times; I cherish them for they made the emotions I had swirling within burst forth in release. I did not need to keep the pain nor the day dreams inside any more.
I am grateful for that.
I have been very quiet these past months for my heart has hardened.
I wish to soften it up. To look at someone with those lust filled eyes or be staring out the window on a snowy day day dreaming of something grand.
It will take a moment.

    I also wanted to take this time to explain the nature of my blog.
My intent is to use this place as a release for emotions and things I need to say out loud. Put those vibrations into the universe to have them multiply or fly away to nothing.
I take quotes from authors, speakers, etc and place them in picture form on the blog. I will then incorporate that quote within my writing.
I will always try to log the author and name of the quote if possible.
But know, nothing posted within the picture on the blog is my own, only the writing that surrounds the quote.

   I will be digging deep, opening old wounds and trying to see the world with my rose colored glasses on once again. I will believe in love, passion and fate once again. Most of all I will cling to hope and drag my backpack of dreams out of the forest where I left it so long ago. Maybe I will go on an adventure with a wolf. Take a ride in a plane to some distant place. Blast off to Mars with a hot alien God. Who knows. But it will be interesting.

Blessed be to all who pass through her. May the light of the Highest shine down on you and bless you and yours.

Goodnight

The moon rode high and bright and it hurt her eyes to look at it.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
The night was cold and crisp as autumn should be.
Another year had passed and nothing.
Her heart broken open. Stitched back together only to be broken open again.
Tonight she needed to let go. Really just let the pain fly away on the breeze and allow the memories to drift to where they need to lie.

She looked back up at the bright moon and allowed the light to sting her eyes. Then she whispered the words out loud, to make it all real.

"Then I said goodnight and tucked you away inside a place called Nostalgia, where you'll always remain unspoiled, somewhere between my lungs that used to breathe ocean air, and my belly that fluttered with hope."

One tear slid down her cheek, then another and then more.
Her face wet with the tears of what could have been she stood and walked back into the house to close the door on her pain.

Help Me Unlearn

Of course there was no answer.
Though there was a part of her that hoped that he would respond to her lighthearted message.
A glance to her phone laying silent on the passenger seat of her car made her heart clench painfully.

"Foolish girl." she said aloud in the dark car while she sat in the parking lot.

Anger rose in her and without thinking she snatched up the phone, stabbed his number in and listened to the rings.
Oh he would not answer but she would leave him a peace of her mind.
That was for sure.
She did not think that he should ignore her forever. They had such a deep friendship and now that a little feeling came into the picture he ran away.
Jerk.

Her anger melted away as she listened to his voice on the other end.

"I'm sorry. I know I have been silent. I know I have been away but I just can't." he said softly.

Her voice could not come forth, only the tears streamed down her cheeks. Then his voice came again, and the pain increased.

"I see you sitting there in the car. I know where you go to think. All I know is that you want me to be with you when I can't do what you wish me to."

Her gaze snapped to look out her windshield and she saw him standing in front of his truck with the phone to his ear. Her soul shattered because she knew this man loved her. Adored her. Wanted to be with her but the way she lived her life prevented him from this.
She knew the texture of his skin. What made him laugh. How to calm him from fears and how to make his demons be quiet. He knew how to touch her pain away. To make her feel loved and beautiful. To verbally spar with her to a point they both ended up laughing.
How would she ever unlearn the lessons of him.

"Help me.." she said, voice cracking, "Help me unlearn what I've learned, unravel what shouldn't stay tied and walk away, even when it will never feel comfortable, gentle or right."

Blurry eyes watched him go very still. She heard him hang up as she watched him do it.
Her heart thumped painfully against her ribs as she thought this was it.
It was well and truly over.
But it wasn't.
He walked across the parking lot towards her car and she scrambled to get out, to meet him, to meet whatever fate would come.

He stood there staring down into her eyes and one hand lifted to brush the tears that rolled down her cheeks. His eyes were filled with anguish and love.
A tiny spark of hope flared.
What would happen now?

One Kiss

Fall had come to the mountains.
Leaves were turning to their fiery colors and the breeze was cool.
Her gaze stayed on the tree outside the building where she waited. Its golden and red leaves fluttering down to the street reminded her how time never stopped.

She turned to see him arrive. The car slipped past her to park beside hers and she felt her heartbeat speed up.
It had been so long since she had seen him.
She had to admit she was shocked she was standing here at this place again with him again.
But as they say, real connections never die.

They embraced. Talked. Things were like they had always been, Comfortable. Happy.

The gloom in her soul began to creep up as the time began to wane. She knew he would leave. He would promise to call and time would pass before he did. Lots of time would pass. Her heart would sink. She would worry. She would cry.

It was time to act. It was time to say what was on her mind and not allow this distance to keep them apart any longer.

"We stay apart for so long. Such deep silences. Such sadness. I always wonder what is on your mind. Why you stay so far away from me for so long and when we come together like this it is as if we haven't even been apart." She spoke softly staring into his dark eyes. She was close. So close she could feel the heat radiating off his body.
The desire to touch him was overwhelming. She wanted to be in his arms. When he held her close the world went away. Everything went quiet and the comfort was deep.
She lifted one hand to place it on his chest over his heart.
It was beating faster than normal. Just like hers.

He still said nothing. And so she thought, this is how it will always be. His thoughts in his own mind and never in her ears.

In that moment of her pondering she felt his hands settle to her shoulders and her eyes snapped back to stare into his.
Tingling awareness raced over her skin and in that moment she knew things were about to change.
Change completely.

He tugged her against his body and his lips took hers in a deep kiss.
The world quieted and the warmth within her body grew to an inferno. She felt hot all the way to her core.
Her arms circled him and her form pressed to his body.
The kiss deepened.
His tongue sliding through her mouth. She could feel how aroused he was. She could feel his heart slamming in his chest against her own fluttering heart.

He broke the kiss, looked into her eyes and whispered.

"In one kiss, you'll know all I haven't said."

In that softly spoken statement he was correct and she made a statement of her own while she pressed her lips to his again.

The Touch of the Goddess

(Photo Credit: Aran Islands - Inishmore - Dún Aengus)

Swirling leaves danced along the pathway as the faint sounds of owls and other rustling creatures raced away through the bushes on either side of the path. A full moon hung in the inky skies and a pair of emerald eyes lifted to that hanging light in the sky, praying reverently for release from the pain in her heart.

Eyes dropping to the winding path once again her feet carried her through the moonlit darkness, the forest around her was filled with life. Coming to a clearing where the pathway fell off a cliff to the rocks and crashing ocean below, she paused.
She stood upon the precipice, eyes fixed to the seething dark water below.
Tears dropped from her cheeks to fall soundlessly to the waves crashing below. The wind buffeted her small form as she contemplated if it was worth this, or to go back to face the pain of the loss.
A soft moan filled the air and she was startled to hear her own aching heart crying out.
Again she looked down at the crashing waves, how easy it would be just to take that last step and let the pain go.
She would not be missed.

The forest behind her went silent, the crashing of the waves sounded far away as something began to glow behind her.
Turning slowly she watched a ribbon of silvery light dance slightly above the forest floor heading towards her. A sense of peace filled her soul and she did not move, she only watched this dancing ribbon. It slowly shimmered into the shape of a woman and she stepped forward, the very ground her bare feet touched glowing silver.
A serene smile was upon the apparitions lips, her golden hair hung around her like spun gold and her eyes reminded her of twin stars that blazed with power. With a startled gasp escaping her she realized the Goddess was before her and she fell to her knees in worship. Head bowed, shoulders shaking she thought she was caught in the tendrils of a dream but when the hand touched the top of her head she felt her mind still.
Slowly her eyes lifted to meet those of the Goddess.

“Tis not time to go yet Sky, it is time for you to do your work.” Her voice was soothing balm to her heart. Mending the pieces that had shattered long ago.

“There is one who shares your soul, he awaits your rescue as he stands upon a precipice as well. Go, find him and rescue one another.”

Sky just stared up into the eyes of the Goddess, hearing the words coming from the entity telling her to live. Telling her to go forth and work once again. To go into the world to face the pain.

The Goddess placed a fingertip to her forehead and whispered.
“Your pain will heal. Your heart will be strong. You will awaken with only the knowledge of what you must do my child. I am always with you.”

The words filled her mind, soothed her pain ravaged soul and the world went black.

Scared to Get Close

Alone she stood at the edge of the lake watching the wind whip up whitecaps across the dark surface. The sun was going down, the storm could be seen brewing over the lake and the wind was howling in glee at the coming deluge. 
Lightning cracked, thunder boomed but she did not move. Her gaze was pinned on a distant place, out past the churning water, past the smell of ozone and past the dark clouds that brought the rain. 
Her gaze was unfocused and all she could see was his back as he walked away from her. All she could hear was the silence of him. 
All she could taste were her tears that never seemed to stop streaming down her face. 

Another earth shattering boom of thunder brought her to the real world and out of her memories to look up at the storm as it rushed towards her. 
Without a thought she brought her camera up, it had been forgotten hanging in her hand, and began to snap pictures of the rage as it swept down upon her. 
When the first raindrop spattered against her face she turned and ran towards her car. Worried about her camera more than the lightning that seemed to chase her, she slipped the camera under her shirt and ran faster. The rain began to pelt down against her, cold and wet. She slipped into the car without a moment to spare as the sky unleashed its fury. Sheets of rain, almost blacking out the world, fell down upon the car. 
Gasping she set the camera down on the seat next to her and realized that not all the wetness on her face was the rain. Tears of loss and sorrow mingled with the summer water that fell from the sky. 

She was alone. 
Truly alone and she did not understand why.

She had pondered this dilemma in the past but she thought with her openness and honesty that she would avoid hurting neither anyone nor herself. 
She had though; she had run people off with her strange ways. People she loved more than anything in the world. Alienated her friends, for they could not quite understand her, nor could they soothe her pain. Out of frustration they all had left her, one by one. 
A sob wrenched from her throat, as guttural as the thunder outside the car and she sat there in the rage of the storm and sobbed for her losses while the skies cried their own tears. 

Infatuated

"You left." he said softly as he stood beside her car. "You left and never said another word."

She watched this man, this dark entity with whom she shared more soul with than anyone she had ever experienced in her life. It was an unnerving feeling; this loss of control she had.
This man, this person who took her for a ride into the stars where she thought she had finally found what she had always been seeking, left her in silence.
She walked away without a word for his reasons for the prolonged silence hurt.
They showed her that she was not even good enough to be second choice.

"We had a connection and I know I jacked it up. I am sorry for that. So much was going on..." he trailed off and stood there silent, eyes dark and brooding.

"Yes, I was infatuated with you; I am still. No one has ever heightened such a keen capacity of physical sensation in me. I cut you out because I couldn't stand being a passing fancy. Before I give my body, I must give my thoughts, my mind, my dreams. And you weren't having any of those." her voice came out harsher than she intended but the pain that still flowed with in her, the way her heart fluttered when he was near made the anger surface.

He stood there silent and that is when she realized that this man really did not know what to do. He was so damaged and life hating that he had no clue.
The anger drained away, replaced momentarily by pity and then a wave of protectiveness came over her. The healer within her wanted to wipe away the pain that has twisted him into this doppelganger of a being.
She shook her head, opened her car door and tossed her bag inside.

"Wait.....I....." he stumbled over his words and then went silent again.

She turned to him, seeing his distress her empathy flared to life and in a moment she made her decision.
Both hands came up to settle against each cheek and she stared into his dark eyes. Those eyes that made her melt so long ago when they were filled with desire for her.
She could feel the tremors within his body and she took control.
Her lips found his and she kissed him deeply.
She was rewarded by a soft moan of relief and pleasure then his body was molded to hers. Arms snaking around her small form and he deepened the kiss.

She leaned back, breaking the kiss to look into bewildered brown eyes.
"We cannot start over but we can start from here." she said softly.

"Then here it is." He said softly and smiled. "Onward to something new that is good for both of us."

Tell Your Story

*Quote by: Anne Lamott*

She sat in the coffee shop and stared at her laptop. The stories there were all filled with passion, love and pain. Her cursor hovered over the delete button for one of the stories she had typed out on wine fueled, tear filled evening.
Drama. That is what her writing was viewed as. She wrote to spill the emotions from her heart the only way she knew.

"I don't want to delete this." she whispered softly.

"Then don't" a woman's voice came from behind her.
She turned to see an old woman sitting at the small table behind her.
Dressed smartly in a dark blue business suit, practical brown heels, and her blonde hair coiled on her head. Within that blonde coif sat, at a jaunty angle, a red pillbox hat with a small gold feather.
She had to smile at that little touch of I am who I am touch.

"Don't delete writing that comes from your heart my dear"

"I have been told its drama." she said with a sigh. "Guess it is not what some people want to read. I have been called harsh with my words."

The woman took a drink from her cup, set it down and the stood gathering her purse with her.

"You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories.If people wanted you to write warmly of them then they should have behaved better."

The words hit her like an arrow of realization and she nodded.

"You are right. They are my stories and while they may not always be happy they have made me who I am." her chin lifted at that last word.

The suited woman inclined her head then tossed down a business card on top of the keyboard.

"Polish up your stories and then give me a call. I think we have business to discuss."
And with that she walked out of the coffee shop the gold feather in the red had swaying in the breeze.
She looked down at the card and gasped to see the woman was the head of a publishing company.

A grin spread on her face and she knew that her soul spilled forth was worth the pain.

Pieces

You left pieces of your soul inside of me.

The words echoed within his mind as he stood staring out the kitchen window.
They seared his heart and he knew that that little slip of a woman was the key to his happiness.
He knew his soul had shattered when he stepped onto the path of darkness years ago.
That journey he took left scars on his soul, made him a dark and unkind person at times.
He knew she came at the right time.
She was his savior. His bright light to follow home.
But he blocked her with his ramblings that he was where he belonged.
He knew she had the shiny parts of his soul.
He knew she carried the best of him.

He wished he could walk up to her and ask to see them. To be redeemed with those parts of him that were true and good.

He wished he could look into those haunting green eyes.

He wished he could kiss those delicious lips.

He wished he could tell her he loved her.

He wished he would have made the right decision.

Blisters on my Feet

The music drifted through the dark room as she swayed alone.
She wished he was with her.
She wanted to be perched beside him watching him work. Marveling at his artistry.
Her desire was to have the music on, spinning her tales while he worked away beside her in his own creative haze.
A pause in their dreaming to kiss, smile at one another and then back to their respective works.

She spun in a circle and then paused before the window.
A super moon was out. Huge. Bright. A night time sun was brightening the world and showing its beautiful pock marked face.

She felt the stab of pain in her heart. She missed him.
He just left. No words. No answer. But he remains within sight and that hurts the most.

Grabbing a dry erase marker she wrote on the window so the moon could illuminate her message to him.

I have blisters on my feet from dancing alone with your ghost.

The tears rolled down her cheeks as she stood in the moonlight alone, heart aching.

Don't Fall In Love With People Like Me

(Quote by: Caitlyn Siehl, Litrerary Sexts: A Collection of Short & Sexy Love Poems)

Who was that standing next to her car in this hot garage.
The air did not move through the concrete structure and so the air was hot and still.
How did he know where she parked in this 9 level monstrosity.
How did he know which car was hers.
Her heart hammered within and her mind spun to so many possibilities and answers that she was almost panting with the effort to stay calm when she reached him.

He looked thinner. His dark eyes older; if that was possible. He had a small, tentative smile on his lips.
She still did not trust him and she knew that what was here would not be good for them.
This was not the way. She was not good for him. She would not spare his heart, which she knew was guarded with barbed razor wire.

"Hi." he said softly.

"Hi." she returned and watched him with unveiled curiosity.
"Why are you here?" she asked after a moment of their eyes locked to one another.
She could not look into those dark depths too long, it was like being hypnotized by desire and need. She would not fall in that abyss again.

"I thought...well....I guess I thought you would be happy to see me." He said with some uncertainty in his voice.

A frown creased her brow and before she could speak he continued.

"I know we can't start over but maybe we can start again, from here?" he cocked his head at her, looking so delicious she was trembling from the effort not to reach out to touch him to see if he was real.

Her heart cramped in her chest with memories. She would always love him but could he handle her. Handle the way she was. The intensity of her love. Their connection.

"Start again to go where?" she asked softly and stepped closer. She could smell him now. Spicy and sweet. Delightful and intoxicating.

"I love you....it's that simple. I want to give this a shot. I want to not be afraid to love you. To be with you. To be in your world, openly." he said in a rush and she could see he was as affected by her as she was by him.

Another step closer and she was looking up into his eyes. Feeling the heat radiating off him was setting her to melting within.
She knew she needed to be harsh and to see if he would run again.

"Do not fall in love with people like me. I will take you to museums, and parks and monuments and kiss you in every beautiful place so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth." her words were soft as she moved close to him, one hand  gently resting on his chest. His heart was beating furiously and his breath was short with her nearness.
"I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand why storms are named after people."

As the last word slipped past her lips his lips crashed to hers in  heated kiss that obliterated any thought she had.
Her purse slipped to the ground as her other arm snaked around his neck so she could mold her body to his. His tongue dipped into her mouth, tasting her deeply and she felt her soul quiver with the touch of her mate.
This was not how it should be, her mind thought in a fuzzy haze.
His assault on her senses continued and she could feel his own arousal against her.
Great Goddess, this man could be away from her all these years, walk back in and take her soul from her with one kiss.

he broke the kiss and cupped her face, staring into her eyes.

"Kiss me in those beautiful places my storm Goddess so I may always remember your taste." he kissed her again then said softly.

"I love storms and I enjoy dancing in the rain."

I Wanted Him

Mesmerized. That is what it is called when you just drink in the sight of someone you desire.
Her gaze wandered over his form as he walked. Shivers washed over her as she watched his hand drag through his hair as he walked,
Teeth bit gently into her lower lip as the desire pooled deep in her belly and she felt hot all over.
Oh she had fantasies, always dancing withing her mind.
The feel of his lips against hers. How he would taste
The texture of his skin sliding over hers.
The depth of his own need mirroring her own making his blue eyes darken with desire.

I wanted him in the bluntest way.
I wanted his lips, his hands, his arms.
I wanted him in the way the ocean wants the shore, constantly reaching and running back.
I wanted him the way rain wants to fall, the way the sun wants to shine, the way words want to be read.
I wanted him to infinity, to the millionth degree, no amount of rain could douse the fire I had in me for him.

The desire rages within.
The need to run forth like those waves to touch the shore of him and run away is strong.
Dreams filled with his touch, his kiss, his love.

Dare she ever reveal such a thing?
No.
She had fear that held her back for she knew that this was more than likely one sided.
It pained her to think this.

And so she writes.
Wishes.
Dreams.

That Place Between Sleep and Awake

Wasn't Disneyland supposed to be Magic Kingdom? Where was the magic in her life? All these laughing happy people swirling around her as she stood staring down Main Street, USA.
Music tinkled around her, children squealed with delight as Goofy walked out of a shop ready for his close up.
She did not feel the magic. She felt bereft, alone, and sad.
But she came here to feel better and to erase what had gone before.
Magic existed and knowingly it was within her, but she had no idea how to melt the ice around her heart to feel again.
When she walked away from that place where she left her heart she thought he would scoop it up and come running to her. She really thought he needed time to think things through, to see she really was gone and it was his fault.

She inhaled deeply, smelling popcorn and flowers, and she stepped into the flow of traffic on Main Street. She would find her magic.

After a few rides and one Dole Whip she stood inside a shop that was filled with treasures to bring home. She had always been a sucker for souvenirs.
Her smile was in place, the Matterhorn always made her smile, that ride was always her favorite as a kid.
Then her heart stopped as she saw a plaque leaning against the wall on a small shelf.
Peter Pan stood there and his words rang through her heart.

You know that place between asleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you, that's where I'll be waiting.

Those words slammed into her like a hammer and she felt the tears well up in her eyes.
That was exactly it and so she typed those words into her phone and sent the text to him before she could even think of the consequences of her actions.

Taking the plaque from the shelf she took it to the counter where it became hers.
Safely in a bag she stepped back out into the throng of people and her phone buzzed.

Heart hammering she looked down to see he had answered.

Where are you? I will meet you in that place so you don't have to wait alone.

A smile crept onto her lips and she pressed call on her phone.

"Where are you?" he said as he answered.

"Disneyland." she said

"LA?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm here for a week...." he cut her off with rushed words.

"I will be there in the morning. Come get me at the airport?"

She knew she looked like a fool standing there in middle of the happiest place on earth with tears sliding down her face but damn it, they were happy tears.

"You want to come here?" her words were almost a whisper

"Yes, I want to be there with you in the Happiest Place on Earth and you can show me around. I have never been. Teach me my love, show me how to live....to love..." he said earnestly.

Her smile was amazing and she said, "I will pick you up....text me the information."

"Ok...I am not going to tell you how I feel just yet...I want to do it there....under the fireworks. See you tomorrow."

"Bye..." she whispered and then stared at her phone in awe.

"He's coming...here....." she said softly to no one as tears still ran down her face.

Suddenly a little girl walked up to her smiling, holding a large white balloon with another balloon in the shape of Mickey inside. The balloon glowed red from a light inside and then she realized it was evening, the balloons were everywhere.

"This is for you......you were crying, this will make the tears stop." she said holding out the balloon.

"Oh...my....um...thank you....but the tears weren't sad they are happy...you see my boyfriend is coming here to see me." she smiled

The little girl's mother then stepped up and took the balloon, pressing it into her hand.

"All the more to take this balloon, red for the color of love." she smiled and took the little girls hand to walk away.

"Thank you.....so much." she said as she watched them walk away.

Her gaze went to the glowing red balloon and she grinned.

Dreams do come true after all.

Close My Eyes Tight

No, I had not heard from him.
She was asked that today. It was a strange question to come from the person who uttered it.
Mostly she figured that part of her life was left behind, especially by those who had to endure her breakdown of heart and soul.
Though when the question was asked she wondered why it was asked.
Had something been said? Was there conversation?
Here she went again spinning things into something from nothing. Making a big deal where there was nothing being made at all.
He knew where she was and could contact her if he desired.
Did she desire it?
Her little heart nodded in her chest.

Looking back was not something she could do anymore. She could not face being the one left behind. It touched things in her she wished to stay hidden.

So she said the only thing she could when she was asked if she was ok after time had passed.

"There are days where all I wish is that I could crawl into a cocoon, close my eyes tight and after the wind is done trying it's very best to knock me down from my branch, crawl back out as something so much more than I ever was before." She knew her eyes still betrayed her deep sadness but she just could not hide.
"More in a sense where I was the one that was desired."

Her gaze drifted out of the window of the restaurant watching life fly by while she inched her way forward.

Unspeakable

The sunset over the ocean was a purple and pink light show that had her mesmerized. She stood there listening to the waves, feeling the cool breeze slide over her skin and allowing the freedom of the moment carry her away.

Time did heal and it also showed harsh truths. Those were bitter pills to swallow.
She swallowed her pills like a good soul and stepped away from the whirlwind of her heartbreak.

Walking away completely was the best thing she could have ever done. Also the hardest thing she ever had to drag her little self through.
Seeing him walk by unexpectedly and know that she was not on his mind was shattering. But she was good at puzzles and her heart was taped, stitched and pasted back together now. It may not look all shiny and new but she felt it had character with its crisscross of scars.

So she left. Drove away and yes, she did look back and dreamed.
Her favorite was he came rushing after her, telling her he made a mistake but of course, it never happened.
Her dreams stayed within her mind and she now kept this as unspeakable.

A piece of driftwood laid at her foot and she watched the waves slip away for the millionth time.
Wood in hand she looked at the blank canvas of the wet sand and began to write.

In life we all have an unspeakable secret
an irreversible regret, an unreadable dream and
an unforgettable love.

Satisfied she tossed the stick aside, dusted her hands off and watched the stars come out.

"It's not a bad thing to fall in love with me" she whispered to the ocean and turned to walk away.

Bad Boys

"Fuck you." she yelled into her phone then slammed it into her pocket. She would not cry. No. Not this time. It was amazing how she was used to this mess of a life she was in.
She knew now he just did not care about her. Oh , hell not more than himself.
Damn selfish little prick.
She slipped behind the wheel and drove home with tears rolling down her face.
Her phone buzzed and her heart leaped out of her chest. Maybe it was him calling to apologize. To finally tell her he loved her as she loved him.
The phone showed it was her guy friend calling and her heart sank back into it's sad little parade in her chest.

"Hi." she said sullenly as she sat at a red light.

"Hey....what did he do now?" she heard the concern in his voice and it pained her. This man she was talking to was the sweetest thing she had ever met but she was not attracted to him at all. Though he did have amazing eyes.

"He is just being an ass as usual." she said as she drove.

"Yeah well...you need to just realize now what he is about. He is bad. He is selfish. You deserve better little one. Much better." she smiled and then started to relax.
He began to talk about his day, the silly things his co-workers did all day long always cracked her up when coming from him.
By the time she reached her house she felt so much better and she knew she could face the next day.

Walking to her car in the lot after work she glanced around. Hoping to see if the one she desired was watching her. It was always her fantasy that he came running to her, telling her how wrong he was and how much he adored her. It never happened and she knew now it never would.
Her steps slowed as she reached her car and the paper on her windshield made her heart speed up.

"What the hell..." she plucked the large sheet off and began to read the words printed there.

I heard you like bad boys.Those guys who act like they don't care about you, which makes you try harder to make them like you. Those guys who wouldn't reply to your texts until later on, which makes you wait around and miss him more. Those guys who act distant from you, which makes you try harder to get their attention. Those guys who know they can get a lot of girls, which makes you more afraid to lose them. Those guys who would show you they're interested one day then act different the next day, which makes you too confused to make a decision to leave him. Thsoe guys who will make you fall for them but they can care less, which makes you stuck and not being able to move on cause you care too much. Has anyone ever told you you deserve better than that? You probably have and you know what? It's about time you realize that. If a guy likes you, he'll meet you halfway. Simple as that. Don't settle for a bad boy when you deserve a good man. Sincerely, A guy who cares.

Tears had blurred the final line and she turned to see her friend standing there roses in hand with the sweetest smile on his face.

"Too much?" he said and shifted from foot to foot nervously.

"No, just enough to get through my thick skull." she said softly and moved toward him. Her heart was bursting with the realization that the person she loved was this sweet man. The one who made her root beer floats on sunny Sunday afternoons while they finished gardening. The guy who played in the rain with her and stamped in puddles even though he wore his good boots. The sweet man who always was at her side when she needed him and told her more than once what a wonderful woman she was.
Her fingers touched his lips, those sweet lips that said so many sweet things to her over the time they had known one another.

"I know a good man....and I hope he can forgive a foolish little girl." she said as she stared into his eyes.
His eyes had widened and she knew she had surprised him.

"I forgive you....always have and I always will little one." he said softly, his fingers trembled as they stroked her cheek.

She stood on her tip toes and pressed her lips to his and was lost in the sensation of finally finding what she had been searching for.

Love.

Fallen

The wind was cool this evening and he stood watching the stars shine in the dark sky. He knew that he had to tread carefully around this woman. He knew if he even cracked a little of his heart open she would take it and cherish it. He could not have that. That would make him love her.
Damn, he already loved her.
He watched her walking towards him across the parking lot. The smile on her lips made him want to wipe it off with deep kisses. The desire to hear her sigh his name in passion was almost overwhelming. When he caught the scent of her perfume he almost.....
Her arms were around him, body pressed against his in a tight hug.
Oh these hugs were a delight and a torture. He loved the feel of her little body against him and how tightly she clung to him.
He remembered one night where they stood wrapped in one another arms for quite some time. Neither wanting to let go and it was the most amazing feeling. Then the amazement shifted to fear. He could not let her in. Never into his heart.
When she leaned back to look into his eyes with a grin he felt himself falling into a cyclone of emotions.
He wanted to kiss her. Dip his tongue into her sweetness and know her in every way.

He'd fallen for this beautiful girl, who was so much more than pretty. She was smart. She was funny. She was brave. She had a past that wasn't all that lovely, yet she still put a smile on her face and never looked back. She was a lionhearted girl and as much as she liked to say she didn't deserve him, he often felt it was the other way around.

She gave her soul to him. She was always there facing any trial he had with her but he was not there for her as much as she needed him to be.
He knew if he stood in her presence too much he would blurt out the words.

"I love you." his whisper split the quiet air and his heart stopped.

Did he just say that out loud? Panic filled him but it was cut short by her hands on each side of his face, the look of pure delight in her green eyes and then the feel of her lips pressed to his.
The world stopped in that moment and then it spun off its axis when he heard her soft whisper.

"I love you too."

The Devil on my Mind

~Tucker Max~

"I am a fool." she said as she stood watching the traffic cruise up and down the street from the window of the office she stood in.
Arms crossed she felt cold to her soul. She should have known better than even to try to go back there. To even think that after all this time he would miss her. That he would see her and light up with joy at her mere presence.
She set herself up for disappointment for sure.

"Well, you aren't a fool but it was foolish to try to contact him after all this time. You know if he cared at all he would be with you no matter what." Her friend said from her seat in the corner of the room.

She shook her head, her gaze watching the train slide by down below.

"He cares but not the way I want him to." she sighed softly then said with bitterness in her voice.

"You know the real truth? It is that the devil doesn't come to you with his red face and horns, he comes to you disguised as everything you've every wanted. Then you are swept into hell where the torments are lengthy and painful."

She went silent watching another train, heading in the opposite directly begin its slow move. She wished she was on a train going away from here.
In her car driving away from her life of pain and self imposed misery.
Her arms tightened as a chill washed over her.
Someday she would be the one someone chose first.

Sweet Sadness

~Amelie Pascual~

She stood in the bathroom staring into the mirror. Her hair was just too flat. Were there more lines on her face than yesterday?
A hand smoothed her hair then stilled as one tear slid down her cheek.
Her gaze flicked to the doors to the stalls behind her but she knew she was alone.
Alone in some public bathroom crying over a loss she cannot bear to think about for too long.
A thought touches her worn mind and with a small smile she begins to fish around in her purse.

"There you are." she says softly and with a flourish, begins to write on the mirror with black eyeliner.

I am not depressed.
I can still smile at pretty things.
And laugh when jokes are funny.
I can still talk to people.
And enjoy nice days.
But when I go inside,
When I am alone,
There is something broken.
And I fall into a sadness so sweet that it engulfs me.
I look in the mirror.
And I don't like what I see.
And the tears always fall.
When I'm falling asleep and I miss something
That doesn't exist.
I am not depressed.
I've just been sad for awhile.
But I can still find the light.
I can still smile.

The eyeliner is tossed to the counter. She washes her hands and then touches up her makeup.

One last look at the black words on the mirror she was satisfied. Maybe someone will get some comfort that there is still a smile to be had in sadness.

Not a Casual Love

"You know it's too much!" he growled as he stalked a few steps away from her in the parking lot.

She watched him, shoulders slightly hunched, his movements jerky and quick and she knew he was angry but she did not give a fuck. This drama filled poor excuse for a friendship was done and she was not one to hide how she felt. It was like lying. She did not lie.
He whirled around and a year ago she would have flinched at the anger flushing his face but not now.
Her chin rose a notch and her gaze stared him down. She was done and she would have her say.

He stepped forward and angrily spat out, "You and I have gone too fast with all of this. I get quiet with you because it is all overwhelming."

She began to go tell him to fuck off but then she saw it in his eyes, not anger, but fear. He was lashing out due to the fear he had inside of himself. Her heart twisted a little and then she knew what she needed to do.
She met his step and soon with a step of her own she was inches from him, staring up into those wonderful dark eyes that even in this moment, flashing with a mixture of angry fear still melted her core.
He went silent, a wary expression on his face but the anger in his eyes shifted to one of desire.
This is what always happened to them when they were close. Fire.

"I don't love casually. When I love it's fierce. It's my soul ripped wide open and raw. It's my whole heart on display. It's all I have and everything I know, handed over to you, like a gift. Unwrap it gently." she said softly as her fingertips touched his cheek.

She watched the emotions fly through his eyes until the one she wanted remained. His own love for her.
He placed his hand over hers while it rested on his cheek. She knew this was hard for him but it was for her as well and this could not only be about his fear, she had her own worries.
it was time to work this out.

"I love you/" he said softly. "I...I....damn...so hard..." his eyes flitted away from hers. Nervousness washed over him and she felt it sting her own body with its intensity.

"I love you too and I know we have many hurdles. A lot of water under the bridge but together we can get through this and have something amazing." her voice was gentle. She knew he was scared to go down the path again, to end up in the same place he had been and face that pain of loss.
She understood the road ahead would be tough, unorthodox but it would be worth it. She would make sure it was worth it.
Open. Loving and Free.

What it's Like to be a Writer

She stood in line with the book under her arm, craning her neck down the snaking length of other hopefuls waiting to meet the writer of her favorite novel. Of course, like many here, she was an aspiring writer.
Her life was filled with magical valleys where unicorns drank from crystal clear streams, dragons flew in the night sky, love always had a happy ending, and a worm hole could open up any moment to take her away to a far galaxy.
Sometimes her mind was about to burst from it all.
Her writing was praised. Her writing was short and unfinished and that bothered her.
Life got in the way most of the time.
Bosses do not like dragons flying around the office nor unicorns drinking from the fountain. Of course there are no happy endings as written and a worm hole was something she saw in the grass near the parking area that really contained an earthworm.

Soon she was in front of him and her grin was wide. She wondered how many times he heard how each fan was also an aspiring writer.

"Hello" he said with a smile.
"Hi..." she said smiling back and handed him the book. She watched him sign his name and then as he was done, handing the book back she decided to just ask.

"How do you keep your moments from spilling out all over the place? I mean, my moments, my fantasies are so messy at times that I swear they would consume the unwary." she said in a rush.

He leaned back in his chair, eyes narrowing but a smile on his lips
"I don't keep them in check at all. I let them get messy all over the place. I mean disgusting, sloppy messy where people could step in them." he nodded with a grin and leaned forward.
"That's how I keep it real....well in my world."

"I can imagine but my life does not allow for such wild abandon." she said with a sadness that she did try to keep hidden but he noticed. His hand fell over hers and he said softly.

"I want you to do me a favor. Close your eyes."

She stared at him and he nodded, "Go ahead...close your eyes, forget this place."
So she closed her eyes and he began to speak again.

"Take a deep breath and empty your day. Erase all of your present fears. Now find your way back to that secret moment when you let them break you. That place in time when all those things you promised yourself as a child; all those starlit magic filled worlds you swore you'd never give up were handed over for what you have now. Go back to that moment."
He squeezed her hand and she was lost in those starlit memories. The bustling, noisy room faded into nothing as she concentrated.
"And with everything you are - by tooth, by nail, by word and by bone - steal it back. It is your right by birth to be who you were meant to be. It is then, and only then that you will know what its like to be a writer."
His voice faded and she knew he was right. By all the nine hell's he was right.

She opened her eyes and looked into his. He smiled then said. "What's your name?"

"Sky..." she said softly and then watched him write in her book once again. Closed the book and handed it back to her.

"Go write Sky. You have the gift. I can see it in your eyes."

"Thank you so much and I will......I will go do just that." She grinned and turned away realizing everyone behind her was staring in awe but she just kept her grin on her face and walked away.

Out on the sidewalk she opened the book to see what he added to her book.

Sky, write like no one is watching and be who you are meant to be. A writer.

Empty Paper

Her gaze went to the snow falling outside and a chill washed over her small form.
Spring was so strange here at times. One day warm with birds chirping in the trees and the next the snow is flying like winter has started all over again.
Her hand slid over the blank piece of paper on the desk and she dropped her eyes to it.

Blank.
No matter how she tried she could not pull up the emotions to write a single word.
She saw his picture today and for a moment there was life within her soul. Even if it was a sharp, breath stealing pain, she felt alive for a moment. Shit, she was shocked to feel anything at this point.
Her mind raced and she knew, yes I will be able to write tonight. To let the emotions that are so tightly bundled away come unraveled in a torrent of not so neat explosions of anguish and love.

I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty.
And I could not have
described it any better.

She stood and tossed the pen aside on the desk.
Empty. Yes she was empty.
She walked away and did not look back for there was nothing to see.

Coiled Beneath Her Bones

.
It was rather beautiful: the way he put her insecurities to sleep.
The way he dove into her eyes and starved all the fears and tasted all the dreams she kept coiled beneath her bones.

She leaned back, staring down at the table where she had written the words out in red chalk.
The table was a chalk board and chalk in all colors was provided for patrons to sit and let their inner muse roll forth while the sip the java of the day.
A dot of yellow went to the flower she had drawn next to the words.

"Those words are haunted." a male voice said near to her right side.
She looked up to see a man standing there looking at her work on the table. A crease of concentration shown between his brows and his dark eyes seemed to almost be lost in some dark memory of his own.
She was sure that his bones kept dreams like hers as well as nightmares.

"They are haunted. When they come from a place of wanting they do tend to take on that flavor." she said softly as she put down the yellow chalk, not watching but hearing it roll over the table. Her gaze was riveted to this interesting man who came into her bubble of silence to ask about what she wrote.
Brave soul to enter the lair of the boar.

"There is more than one flavor here." his voice was low and now his gaze of chocolate had moved to latch onto her.

Did her heart stutter a moment? Indeed it did for it was like something inside her remembered this person from some where but she he was not immediately familiar.

"Indeed. There are flavors of true love, fear and resentment."

"I can see that but what about hope?" he said as he sat down in the chair beside her. His long dark hair brushed his shoulders and he sat his own coffee down to the left of her flower on the table.

"Hope is a pipe dream. A false door in an otherwise solid existence." she said and looked away to pick up her own caramel mocha coffee. Those combined flavors were soothing and lovely to her tongue. She needed to be distracted from this dark eyed stranger who was poking holes in her theories.
He made a soft grunting sound and then when she turned back to him he was writing on the table in blue chalk.

His words read; Hope shines the brightest in the darkest moments.

Her gaze lifted from the dusty, printed words beneath her little yellow and green daisy she had drawn and she inclined her head, a smile touching her lips.

"It has been a dark time for me. Perhaps you are the one who shows me the door truly opens to a brighter day?" her heart was pounding in anticipation and fear at his reaction. She had not felt this way in years.

His smile was truly incredible for it made him seem like a ray of sunshine even with his dark hair and eyes. He glowed with promise and adventure.

"I would be honored to show such an eloquent soul the sunshine that awaits. She only has to walk through the door."

She laughed and she knew she would be alright.
She knew that the secrets under her bones may be safe out in the gaze of this one.
Her fears were truly being starved and her joy was being fed.

Closed my Eyes

(Quote above from: Rumi. I added the rest on)

 I closed my eyes and spoke to you
in a thousand, silent ways.

In that darkness I created my own light.
I danced with you as I desired.
Feeling your skin beneath my fingertips.
Knowing each place to touch that would make you shiver.
Smiling as the moan of pleasure broke the careful silence.

I create the moonlight that shone down on our forms.
In that moment we were one.
In that moment we were the way we were supposed to be.

Even if it was only in my silent dreams.

Dancing With Ghosts

Spring was coming once again with its rain, warm winds and delicate green things starting to show their faces to the sun.
She stood at the window of the office building looking out over the tops of the buildings below and then her gaze her lifted to the horizon.
Past the bustling city with the planes, cars and people all noisily going about their business there was an expanse of quiet. That is where her mind went when she looked to the west.
Memories assailed her and she was disappointed in herself for even still thinking of him.
When there was a connection between them it was easily ignored and walked away from. She did not know how he shut himself off but he was an expert at it.
Then to be touched once and shoved out the door was heart wrenching.
By all the nine hell's she did not want to have that reaction. She spent a ton of time going over her thoughts, feelings and actions to see what her problem was.
After that soul searching journey she knew it was what it was.
It was nothing to him now. That was obvious.
Isn't it a cruel joke to love someone who does not love you in return.
She snorted with amusement at her fanciful, romantic self.
She danced around the what if's all the time. She day dreamed of different times. Changed outcomes. what would happen now if they crossed paths.
She shook her head and pressed her forehead and realized she truly was lost, holding on only by a thin thread.
She never got to say those things that needed to be said and she regretted that.
She knew one thing for sure, down to her core, she was not alone.

There is a ghost here. A lonely, heartbroken spirit. The ghost of everything that could have been and never was.

She danced with the ghost of the past and the imaginary ghost of the future.
They teased and taunted her. Showed her what she had for a fleeting moment and what she will never have.

Tears streamed down her face and she ignored them. For those wet tracks were a badge of shame she wore for aching for something that will never be.
No matter how many day dreams she had.
No matter how many ghosts she danced with.

Do Things

"I feel like I fucked it all up. Maybe I was too passive in it all? I did not go after him like I normally would. But hell, I wanted him so bad my heart would leap out of my chest when I saw him and my tongue would tie itself into a bow tie." she sighed with sadness.
"I felt like an utter fool and I wanted so bad to say I'm sorry for not being who you thought I was. But I really am that wild gal that you desired. Damn, the silence hurt." her voice cracked on the last word and she hung her head.

"Hey....look at me." her friend said with a stern tone.

She looked up into his eyes and saw his concern. She sat up straight and smiled as he knelt before her, his eyes bright.

"Listen to me. Do the things you used to talk about doing but never did." his hand squeezed hers and he continued.
"Know when to let go and when to hold on tight. Stop rushing. Don't be intimidated to say it like it is. Stop apologizing all the time. Learn to say no so your yes has some oomph." His smile was gentle and she could not tear her eyes from his. She felt his words sinking into her little broken heart.
"Spend some time with friends who lift you up.." he winked "and cut loose the ones who bring you down. And stop giving your power away. Be more concerned with being interested than interesting. Be old enough to appreciate your freedom and young enough to enjoy it." he lifted her hand, kissed the back of it then said softly.
"Finally....know who you are." he turned her hand over and kissed the palm. His dark eyes filled with what she knew was love.

Her heart expanded and the love she felt for this person spilled forth.
Her other hand lifted to slide over his cheek and she whispered. "It's time for me to tell it like it is then...."

She leaned forward, seeing this beautiful man for the person he was showing at this moment, not the hidden playful creature that seemed to plague their time together most of the time.
Her lips pressed to his gently, she felt him stiffen but then after a moment his other hand snaked into her hair to cup the back of her neck, holding her to deep the kiss.
She thrilled when his tongue delved into hers, tasting her deep and the love she held for this soul in her arms spilled forth.
Breaking the kiss her green gaze stared into his dazed browns.

"I love you." she said breathlessly.

His smile was like the sun, bright, happy and utterly blinding.

"I love you too my little one. Always have. Always will."

Keep You Wild

"This is too dangerous. We need to go back." he said as they inched their way along the pathway. The drop off to one side lead to the river they could hear rushing next to them and he felt a shiver of fear race through him. What if she fell, he would not reach her in time. Fuck this girl was insane. Just to get her picture they had to inch their way along some ledge next to a river in the dark.

A soft laugh floated to him and he saw the flashlight beam illuminate the path before him. It opened up to a walkway with a handrail on the river side.

He grabbed at the railing and cursed softly.

"I heard that." she said from up ahead and laughed. "You are fine. We are fine. I have been on this path a thousand times."

He felt her hand take his and he looked into her eyes as the flashlight gave enough light to see her smiling face.
He loved her and would do anything to make her happy. It was that simple.
They were always out doing crazy things and he had to admit it was thrilling.
His arms slipped around her, dragging her small form against his and he felt the need to posses her here and now.
His lips crashed to hers and she molded her body to his with a moan of pleasure. This is what he craved every moment of everyday. This sweet taste and sound of her desire.

She broke the kiss smiling up at him. One fingertip slid along his temple, pushing one dark strand of his hair away.

"You keep me safe. I'll keep you wild. Deal?" she said softly with a grin on her face.

He squeezed her and whispered. "I will always keep you safe and loved. And you make me wild every moment of day my gorgeous little one."

"Good." she smiled and tugged him the rest of the way down the path. As they popped out onto the ledge he saw a valley of twinkling lights before him. It was awe inspiring to see such a sprawl of humanity while they stood on the top of the world in solitude.

"Just the view is worth it." she said while she set her camera up on a tripod.

"Being with you is worth it." he said, sliding a hand over her hip.

"You keep touching me and you may find yourself on your back on cold granite." she said with a laugh.

"Oh...well that sounds like a mission I must take." His words barely left his lips before his hands were sliding up under her shirt.
Her laugh echoed through out the night and he knew he was the luckiest man in the world.

Just Scars

The razor blade slid slowly across her skin. Not too deep. Just enough to see the crimson pearl upward and to feel the sting of pain. She bit her lip as another line of little red pearls appeared next to the first.
The pain washed over her like an aphrodisiac. This was what she wanted to feel. The pain of her failures. She deserved this for she was not like everyone else. She was an outcast. A loner.
A hiss of pain on the next cut into her skin. A little too deep and a shudder of fear washed through her as the thought came; what if I just cut all the way down. Let the blood flow until she just went to sleep in a pool of red regret.
She tossed the bloody blade into the sink and sat there, tears streaming down her face.
Loser.
Yeah she heard that today.
She heard it so much she believed them now. Why not.
Her fingers ran over the scars on her arm. Long sleeves tomorrow for sure. She had been asked more than once about the scars. She just said; just scars, that's all they were.
No big deal . But that was a lie. A big lie.
A tear slid down her cheek and with a spurt of anger she grabbed a black eyeliner pencil from her makeup bag on the counter and began to write on the mirror. When she was done she stepped back and admired her work.
Not bad.
She felt a little better when she snapped a picture of her words.Take that world. Fuck You.

They aren't just scars.
They are the demons I fought at 3am.
They are my insecurities, my deepest fears
and my lonely nights.
They are the insults I have received
and the emotions I cannot contain.
They are a part of me
and are what I have become.

Everyday Magic

"I don't think magic exists. I mean there are no such things as witches with magic streaming out of their fingers turning people to frogs."

She watched her friend across the table. Her cynicism sometimes got under her skin but then she had a right to her opinion. Her life was not a good one. It was filled with television alone on the couch while her dog sat by her side.
She did believe in magic. It tingled along her skin when something grand was happening and she wished she could share such a feeling with her down trodden friend.
Taking a sip  of her beer she thought of something and said softly.

"I do believe in an everyday sort of magic - the inexplicable connectedness we sometimes experience with places, people, works of art and the like; the eerie appropriateness of moments of synchronicity; the whispered voice, the hidden presence, when we think we're alone."

Her friend had become very still as she spoke. The words were like a spell, weaving it's everyday magic between them.

"You my friend, are a work of art. You are magic in human form. I guess I should believe in magic for you always have the right things to say to lift my mood. To make me see the bright side and smile. Thank you." she said as she placed her hand over hers on the table.

Smiling she shook her head. "I'm not magic but I know it's out there and I want to share it. Thank you."

Dancing Under the Moon

The cool breeze lifted a strand of hair to slide over cheek as she looked up at the sky. In the middle of the downtown landscape no stars could be seen, just darkness with a halo of light. But she knew the stars were up there and so was the moon and that was a little comforting.

So much had changed in the last few years with her life that it was hard to slow down and really look at it as a big picture. There were times where she still wished things were different but she had ceased pining and let the past go.

She sat out on a Friday night, alone, on the wide marble ledge of a planter where a tree was reaching up into the darkness. The night club before her was filled to capacity, people out on the patio and music filled the air along with laughter.She watched couples and groups stroll by, chattering and laughing as well as staring at their cell phones. One gal walked by and she could see she was posting on some site somewhere and it saddened her how disconnected we all were.
Sure, all these people were out being social but she could see the decline in social manners. Hell, she could see how people just did not know how to interact with each other anymore. So many blunt rude people as well as people who would just cut you off at a moments notice when the next pretty bauble came into view. She found many to be shallow and wanting only the quick fix they needed at the moment rather than those who wanted to hammer out a real connection with someone. Where both parties had a stake in what was going on.
Communication was done on little screens where you could say whatever you wanted because you did not have to look someone in the eye.
People were bold, mean and rude when they did not have to face someone down.
People did not like to be held accountable for who they hurt.
They danced around the truth and left carnage in their wake.
Then they wake up one day realizing the mistakes they made along the way.
But they were happy for a moment right?
She shook her head again and sighed.

"That's a pretty big sigh there." she heard a male voice say next to her and she turned to see a man sitting on the other side of the planter box smoking.

"Yeah well that's what happens when a girl thinks too much of the past." she said.

"The past should remain there." he said as he exhaled a puff of smoke.

"True. But at times it does creep up to tickle your mind with its broken promises."

He stood and walked to stand before her. He was a nice looking man; tall, leather jacket, jeans, boots, dark hair touching his shoulders and eyes that she could see twinkling in the lamplight. She wondered what color his eyes were, he was intriguing.

Another exhale and he said. "Lot's of promises are broken."

"Sure they are. Via text. Via instant message. Via email.Kind of a disconnected world we have these days."

His head tilted as he watched her for a moment. Interestingly, she was not uncomfortable with this and her eyes met his unflinchingly.

"I agree. Society is truly disconnected. People have forgotten how to just sit down and talk." he said and then he leaned over to crush his cigarette out in the nearby trashcan.

"I think people talk, but not about the important things. I think the talk is about what they saw on television or who they saw having drama on Facebook the night before. funny cat videos and webpages of nonsense fill their brains. No one sits down and talks about how they feel. what they want or don't want. It is a guessing game. I think people spend too much time staring into screens and not enough time drinking wine, tongue kissing and dancing under the moon." her voice had grown soft at the end of her speech because he had stepped closer, his gaze intense.

"I completely agree. Tongue kissing, tasting the wine on each other and dancing to a slow song under the moon is underrated." he held out his hand. "I'm Adam. Want to go have a conversation over a glass of wine and maybe we can go find the moon?"

A soft chuckle and she stood, placing her hand in his.
"I'm Sky. It's nice to meet you Adam. And I would love some wine, conversation and a good moon chase."

"Excellent." he said as he tucked her hand into the crook of his arm as they walked.

His eyes were blue she noticed as they walked into the club. She hoped there was some serious moon chasing.

Drunk

  Her drink sat before her on the table, watered down as she watched the people come and go from the bar. It was a Friday afternoon and the bar had quite a few people stopping by for that after work imbibe.
Her notebook was open, pen laying across a blank page, and she hoped the bustling place would get her creativity flowing again.
So much had happened in the past few years her little, battered soul was barely scooting along at the bottom of the barrel. She was picking herself up pretty good, she thought, but damn it was tough work.
Many had it rougher. So she tried not to think of her situation as terrible. It was just a set back,

Her attention was caught by a woman who had just stumbled from a group by the pool tables. This was someone who was down low, she could tell by the dark circles under her eyes and the worn look on her face.
The woman reached a bar stool and clumsily settled down, yelling out a drink order to the bar tender who was close by. Soon she had, what looked like a shot of whiskey set before her. She slammed it back, slid the back of her hand over her mouth and wiped it off on ratty cut off jean shorts.
Her red cowboy boots had seen better days. Scuffed on the toes to the point where the red was gone and the under material showed. Maybe those scuffs were from lots of dancing or perhaps scuffles while she was drunk.
Her shirt was red and covered in sequins that spelled out something she could not make out.
Blonde hair teased to the max and a lot of makeup to hide those sleepless nights.

She realized as the woman slammed back her second shot, that she could see, that she was not just getting drunk for the hell of it. She's getting drunk to numb the hell out of it.

Those words made it to the page before her. A sadness washed over her as she watched the woman with the chipped red nails and mickey mouse watch on her right arm that this could be anyone at any time.
We all could get side swiped by some tragedy in life and there is no one to shake us out of our own self destruction.
Sometimes we feel like those worn cowboy boots; too scuffed to be presentable but too comfortable to walk around in to get rid of.

She stood, gathering her items and walked slowly from the bar and its quiet, subtle desolation.

Wild Hearts

   "Oh, the sprinklers are on! Let's go run through them!" she said as she danced around in front of him.
Her gorgeous green eyes were alight with excitement.

He smiled at her and shook his head.

"Those are big powerful sprinklers." he watched the long arcs of the water spray over the park's grass.

"Then we will just stay in spray, don't get too close to the head and we are good. Come on. Live a little." her hands slid up his chest and he trembled. He loved it when she touched him. It unnerved him that one touch from this little slip of a woman could unravel him. Oh what the hell, she was right, time to live a little.
He took her hand and with a wink tugged her off to run with her through the cold water.

It showered down over them as they ran through. Laughing and screaming as the cold water touched their skin.
After a moment she stopped and he found they had made it across to the other side of the field. He turned back to watch the water pass by.
She placed her hands on his cheeks, turned his head down to hers and all he could see was wild, love filled green eyes. It set his heart to pounding in his chest and then his whole body shivered as her lips touched his.
Wrapping her in his arms he deepened the kiss, swirling his tongue through her mouth and he thrilled at her moan.
 Their wet bodies clung to one another as they kissed deeply in the darkening park on a hot summer night.
He never wanted this to end but her love was so intense, so wild, it scared him. He pulled back from the kiss and stared down into her eyes.

"You terrify me woman." he said softly allowing his fear to show. "Your love is wild."

She pushed a wet tendril of hair from his forehead, her fingers trailing over his cheek, his jaw and then over his lips. She smiled, that smile that always melted him.

"Hearts are wild creatures." she said with a grin and spun in a circle, wrapping her arms around herself and stopped, looking at him. "That's why our ribs are cages. You are in no danger of losing your wild heart to me. Just allow me to feed it through the bars."

She was against him again, her arms sliding around him and her eyes blazing love.

Wild creatures indeed. Well his felt as if it were a lion ready to burst free to take down its prey. His woman. He crushed her to him and took his kisses hard from her mouth. She moaned louder and he knew that her own wild lioness of a heart was racing like his.