I'm Sorry.....

Frustration built up within her and she sat staring at nothing. Trying to keep her composure.
Finally the meeting ended, gathered her things and left the room without a word.
She needed to go. To get in her car and go somewhere far away.
Her heart squeezed as she thought about him.
What the hell got her to this point? She was just fine this morning. He had not said or done anything to make her feel this way.
He was her friend as he always has been.
Nothing new there.
She let out a long held breath as she walked out into the overcast day.
Friends. Yeah, that's all they were. That's all they would ever be. She was ok with that. She wanted him in anyway she could get.
But there were times like this where things just got to her.
She wanted more.
To feel his strong arms wrap around her small form.
The taste of his lips on hers.
Sound of his voice as he told her he loved her.
Good hell. She thought as she slipped behind the wheel of her car.
Get a damn grip girl.

She drove for miles and then wound up sitting in a parking lot that faced the lake.
The whitecaps whipped around and the wind was blowing the flag in the distance steadily.
This gray day did fit her mood.
Pulling out her notebook she began to write.

I'm sorry I constantly want to talk to you. I'm sorry when you take long to reply, I get sad.
I'm sorry if I say things that might piss you off. I'm sorry if I come off as annoying. I'm sorry if you don't wanna walk to me as much as I wanna talk to you. I'm sorry if I think about you too much and too often. I'm sorry if I tell you about my pointless drama when you don't really care. I'm sorry if I come off as being clingy, but its just me missing you.

She read over her words and sighed.
I miss you. I miss sitting next to you at the bar telling stories.
I miss talking to  you for hours. I miss watching a movie via text.
I wish we could see a movie together then go to dinner after to discuss how much we loved or hated it.
I wish we could sit and watch the sunset and enjoy a fire.
I wish we just could be together more than we are now.

One single tear rolled down her cheek and she brushed it aside.
She knew why they could not be together.
It made everything so much harder.
So much harder.
And hell.....there was a chance he just saw her as some girl he chatted up now and again.
Another tear slid down her other cheek and then the tears could not be stopped.
She sat in her car with the wind whipping around her as the tears of sadness, fear and longing fell from her soul.