So There's This Boy......

So there's this boy......
he is sweet, gorgeous and kind.
He is also quiet, introverted, over thinker, and angry,
I have fallen head over heels for this boy and I have so much to say but I am afraid.
Words have a way of either pushing people away or bringing them in closer.
My words would be strong, deep and quite intense for this out of the ordinary situation.

I thought why not just write what I have to say down here.
No rejection. No fear. No worry. Just my words out in the universe for no one to see.

To the boy that holds my heart with his blue eyes this is a letter to you:

Today I almost asked you to go out again.
I didn't ask because I fear that you will do one of the things you usually do as of late; ignore the question  to side step it to something else or say sure and it ends up being something like lunch that only acquaintances do.
I see you more than an acquaintance and I thought you saw me as more once.
Something changed.
I wish you would tell me what happened. How did I go from being your confidant, the one you shared day dreams with to this place of away. This place of far away.

Now I know on a logical level what situation I present is very odd. It is not something most people engage in nor aspire to but its not impossible. We haven't ever even broached the subject and it seems you never want to.
I feel that you may have crossed a line in your head and that was enough overthinking to get you to back away.
Not only are you distant physically you also have left me mentally.
Our talks are mundane and we never reach for the stars anymore.
You never want to be alone with me. Even something as simple as a movie between friends is something you will not even consider.
Truth be told, it hurts. It hurts so much that I keep asking myself; what is so wrong with me that keeps you turned away from me.
But you care and I do know this. The small things you do remind me that even though you have put up some pretty tall walls, your heart still tugs when I am around.

I want to walk with you in the sunshine while we talk about whatever our minds bring up.
No boundaries. No limits.
I want you to teach me all those cool things you know.
I want your hands on me with passion.
I want your lips on mine.
We have a karmic connection. I know you know this.
The first moment our eyes met it was like being struck with a knowing.
A knowing that we have known each other for millennia.

I wish I could sit you down to say all these things to you without fearing that you would turn away because it was just too much. Too weird. Too stressful. Too much emotion.
I wish a lot....on every star I see flying by that somehow, someway we can at least be closer in some way.
I know you will be leaving someday. This breaks my heart.
With tears in my eyes and cracks in my heart I will wish you well. I will bestow all the blessings I know upon on you in your new adventure.
I would do this because I only want your happiness.
I would do this because I love you.