Walk to the Light

She stood at the edge of her life and had to make a decision.
The way to the Light was before her and should she take the next step.
Allow the fetters of her earthborn life to fall free into nothing while she runs towards her salvation.

The clouds rolled in, the wind picked up and soon the Light was a beacon in the darkening sky.
Her gaze stared at the old boards under her feet and she knew each plank was a sliver of one of her many lives.
She was weary in mind, body and soul.
Holding the weight of so many on her shoulders had bent and twisted her into something she did not recognize anymore.
Their problems. Their lost loves. Their indecisions. Their selfishness. Their greed.
All weighted her down inside and while she tried to siphon it all off she could not and it stained her soul. All the darkness took her soul and made it a mottled, brown thing that needed the Light to wash her clean.

Her driving force on this plane was to heal.
But so much was hurting. So may lied. Cheated. Died.
So heavy. So tiring.

Her watery gaze lifted to the light once again. She knew if she crossed to the center of the walkway she would forfeit her life.
Leave those who loved her behind to fend for themselves.
A glance behind her where the movie of this life played and a frown creased her brow as she saw so many walk away from her. She was their rock, their shoulder, their friend, their lover and yet they chose others, chose to leave her in silence and walk away to allow her to think she was nothing worth fighting for. She was forgettable. She was worthless.

"Why can't I have what I want?" she wailed as she sank to her knees on the slightly damp wooden bridge.

"why?" she whispered as she watched the image of a dark haired, dark eyes man cross before her and her heart broke all over again.

She saw everyone she had ever loved leave. Left her behind.
Only remembering her when she was needed.
She would be called selfish. She would be hated for what she had done.
No one would understand because all of their condemnations would be for themselves. For their loss and not her own.
She needed selfish right now to save her soul.
Her soul. She was tired of soothing everyone else's soul while hers withered away.

She stood and wiped angrily at her tears and took a deep, calming breath.
She turned to the walkway once again and the Light at the end.
With a lift of her chin she allowed the gossamer white gown float away on the wind and with determination she walked towards the Light and her salvation.