Craving

My body is hot and tingles with the need to feel your skin against mine.
I ache within my soul to have you again.
I want to taste you like sweet cream on strawberries.
I want to bite into you and feel your shivers of pleasure race through me to my core.

I crave you.

I want to taste every inch of your body.
I want to run my tongue along your neck, nibbling here and there.
Deliciously intoxicating my head spins.
As my tongue finds your chest I seek out those nipples.
In my teeth they are now my plaything.
You cry out, arching into me as I bite and I can feel your arousal.

I crave you.

Tongue sliding down the center of your chest.
Tasting salty skin.
Tasting sweet desire.
Twirling around your belly button.
My hands sliding your pants down.

I crave you.

Green gaze meets amber.
We stare at one another and fall into each others heated gaze.
We are lost.
My tongue slides over my bottom lip.
Anticipation gleams in your eyes.
You know what I am going to do.
You crave what I am going to do.

You crave me.

My tongue slides over the very tip of your arousal.
I am rewarded with a soft cry of primal pleasure.

We crave each other.

Intense Lust

     Those eyes watched her and she felt their caress from across the room. Just knowing he was there, intent on her, made the blush creep up her neck and stain her cheeks. No one did this to her but this man. He was the only one who could send her skin into a flurry of goosebumps when he spoke. His voice was an aphrodisiac that sent her body into a flurry of passionate chills. Kisses from him were a drug that she was hopelessly addicted to. His kisses had spoiled her to a point where no one else could measure up.

    A quick shift of her green gaze into the crowd where he had been standing and she noted he was gone. A lift of her chin to see better sent her heart plummeting to her stomach for he had gone. She missed looking at him, watching the way he moved and the knowing, alluring smile he wore. He seemed to look at her as if he knew every one of her secrets, a thief within her own mind and soul.
Perhaps she imagined all of it. He was a ghost of what she desired. A dream ghost to come torment her in the light of day.

   Ah then her ghost became muscle, skin and spicy scents, swirling around her in a heady perfume. Her gaze turned and lifted to meet that dark gaze watching her with predatory intent. Oh she thought she was prepared with a lofty retort when he stepped before her again but nothing came forth and she could do nothing but fall headlong into that gaze. Trapped, all her defenses shattered into the air and she stood helpless before him.

  He leaned close and whispered, "I am coming for you, my body is hungry. I am coming for you like a junkie. You are the only one to soothe my soul."

  In that moment she felt the most intense lust burst forth from within. Lips slightly parted, she tilted her head and she did not care who was present, she had to touch him. It had been too long since she felt the fire that only he could ignite. Trembling fingers lifted to trail over his jawline and then her thumb slid over his bottom lip.

"Then you come for me. Feel my skin. I will take my place by your side and I am not leaving until I am satisfied."

The Note

  
  The note trembled in her hand as she stood staring down at it, the words tore her apart. Heart hammering she looked over her shoulder to see if he was still around but the parking lot was quiet. Her gaze went back to her car, where she found the note tucked under her windshield wiper and she wondered what in the world this meant. Should she call him? The note was open ended and she did not know what to do. She never knew what to do with this mystery of a man.

  He scared the hell out of her. He made every cell within her body ignite into a fiery ball of passion when he looked at her with those gorgeous dark eyes. Out of control emotions and silly girl like behavior was not something she had ever been prone to but goodness, this man took her apart in ways she did not understand.
She was always so afraid to say something wrong and it really pissed her off. She never bowed to a man. Never! For some reason her need to please him overtook and she acted the fool.

  A frown creased her brow and she snorted with annoyance. After all this time he dared to just plop this down on her head and for what? What in the hell does he want to do? Torment her more?
Bring her desire for him up to a wild and intoxicating place and then shut her down with excuses. Excuses that broke her heart every time as she felt she just was never good enough. Never enough.

  Her gaze dropped to the paper once again, a soft growl escaped her and she crumbled it in her hand. Unlocking the car door she slid onto the driver seat and tossed the note to the passenger seat.
Fuck this, she thought as she closed the door and started the engine.
She would not be brought to that level of wanting again to be denied. It was too hard to be set aside. To be ignored. She would not be the fool again.

  Backing out of the spot, anger ablaze within her eyes, she turned up the radio. The bass bumping within the car drowning out her thoughts as she cruised through the lot towards the road that would take her home.
Her heart had not slowed. The knot in her stomach grew larger and she felt the sting of tears behind her eyes. Anger and sorrow mixed like oil and water in her soul and it began to make her heart ache with a terrifying intensity.
Pulling off into a quiet part of the lot she turned the radio down and grabbed the note off the seat.
Tugging it open from its crumbled ball she smoothed it out on her lap reading the words he wrote once again.

"My smile, you love my smile...." she said softly and then her voice caught on a sob.
Oh damn you, how can you do this to me so easily, she thought. He was so far and deep within her and in such a short time it frightened her.

The tears fell. One by one they streamed down her cheeks as the note blurred in her vision. This was not how she wanted things to be between them. These strange silences and distance where she felt like something broken and unwanted. She just wished for him to smile, to be there even as a friend, to just be with her in some small way.

She grabbed her phone and with anxiety coiled within she called him.

"Hi. I was hoping you would call." He said softly.

His voice slid through her like white hot lightning, sending shivers of pure need and desire through her. It took the anger away and left a deep wanting that she did not want to look at too closely. It was hard to understand the level of intensity that always rose between them when they spoke so she shoved it aside.

"I wasn't looking for anyone either, not like this. But your smile did change everything within my heart and with that smile I was lost too. I also tried hard not to want and love you. But that smile and those eyes, those lovely dark eyes of yours and what I saw deep within them changed everything. And yes, even after all this time your smile and eyes still change everything..." she whispered into the phone as the tears still streamed down her face as she sat in the quiet car in the dark parking lot.

Under the Pearl Hued Moon

Quote: A soul mate is not the person that makes you the happiest, but the one that makes you feel the most. Who conducts your heart to bang the longest, who can drag you giggling with forgiveness from the cellar they locked you in.

   The moon rises, clouds sprinkle the sky, illuminating them like ghosts of yesterday. She stands alone under the tree. He said he would meet her here and he has not come. Her heart sinks deep into her stomach, free falling into despair. The sound of thunder rolls to her ears and she looks into the sky. The clouds are moving fast now. Does the storm come? She feels a storm within her soul for she wondered why she was here. Why did she care so damn much when he did not seem to.

   Lightning filled the night, bringing day to her eyes for a moment and in the distance she swore she saw someone. Could it be? Her heart began hammering within her body, making her hands tremble and tears fill her eyes. Over the rise he ran and she could see his hair streaming out behind him and she could not help but to feel a giddy laughter fill her.

 When he reached her, breathing hard and eyes filled with panic she reached up to soothe away those fears.

"I thought you wouldn't wait." he gasps out, panic in his eyes.

"I would wait for you forever." She whispers as her fingertips sliding over his cheek.

  His hands lift to push her hair from her face, thumbs caressing her skin as he stares down into her eyes.
She felt like she was floating in a dream for he was here. Truly here. All she could do was look into his dark eyes, the moon was so bright. It was like the moon became a new sun, the hue of a pearl caressing them with a lovers glow.

"My love....my soul..." he said as his lips press to hers.

She melted into him and slid her arms around his neck molding her body to his.
His hands slid down to her hips and soon they were locked in deep kiss.

The thunder rolled off in the distance leaving the lovers canopied under a sky with millions of stars shining down on them. Witnesses to their bonding of souls.

Breaking the kiss she touches his cheek. "Always yours....no matter what..." she whispers.
Her fingers thread his hair, feeling the silken strands fall through her fingers and she shivers with desire.
Her craving for him was a living thing within her body, always there below the surface just waiting for his touch or even a look to ignite her flame.

"Forgive me..." he said softly.

She stood silent, her eyes shifting to the stars above and knew she had to forgive. She had no choice. He left her but now he was here. She would listen to his story. She would understand and then she would forgive.

Just Friends

  

The desire I have for him is overwhelming.

Don’t we all have someone that we desire so deeply that we lose our sanity for a little while? Where your palms itch to touch them again and your heart pounds when you see them?

I have one of those.

When I do see him all I can think about is how his lips felt upon mine and how the wine tasted on his tongue. I can close my eyes and feel the hot shivers of wanting wash over me as I remember his desperate need of me.

Oh, that in itself is amazing. To know you are so desired that they are willing to do anything to possess you.

I am there. I want to watch his dark eyes on me filled with passion again. To be slammed against the wall with his arousal pressing into me where I gasp in pain and pleasure.
I want to possess him.
I want him to own me.
I want his hands in my hair, pulling hard as his teeth leave marks on my skin as he makes me his.

I want to kneel at his feet and allow him to have his way with me.
To make me scream with release.

I remember how his hair felt between my fingers and how I wish I could feel it again. I melt inside when I think of how he made me his and filled me with his essence.
The intoxicating smell of his skin, the feel of his lips on mine and the wild passion that still to this day drives us crazy.

After all this time the desire has built into a raging inferno. It is too wild to handle so we look away from one another. We walk around one another. We do not touch one another.

We cannot be friends for we were lovers.

We cannot sit and just talk about the day’s events, we must touch.

We fear what may happen.

For we know we will own one another if we allow things to go where we dream.

I want to be owned by him. I want his love. I want his desire. I want him.

I want him to want me.

A Bit of a Tarot Reading

    Tarot cards fell to the table and the woman looked her with a shrewd eye. She had not said a word to this tarot reader who beckoned her into her stall for a reading. It was a free reading and she was not going to pass this up for she knew what they cost. The woman said she was the first person she saw today with an aura of strength and she wanted to share what the spirits were clamoring to say.
This ought to be interesting because her life had been one giant roller coaster of ups and downs lately but it was hard to tell for she kept her composure. It would not do to be seen as a crying, silly foolish girl.

   "You are a warrior. You are the boar. You sit in the forest, your back to all the dangers daring them to come get you as you are not afraid. You have armor as the boar does. You dare those who are against you to try to take a piece off your hide but all their attempts just slide off." the old woman stared at her with pale blue eyes.

She nodded and stared at the card that showed a boar beside another tarot card then she looked at the woman again.

"You are the kind of person that people look up to but who are afraid of. Your strength is so great, your walls so high that people either fear you will kill them or love them." She shuffled another deck of cards and tossed out three more. Looking up she tapped the cups on one.
"Your world is filled with love. You are loved. But your troubles stem from this one thing. You are terrifying and strange and beautiful, something not everyone knows how to love. It takes a  lot to love you for you are made of light and love. Your boar strength, your Goddess love, your solidarity as the redwood and your compassion make you terrifying. Remember this when they flee."

Her heard clenched as she heard those words...when they flee. Yes, they did flee.

Stuck in my Head

   Writing the book is not going well. I am trying to hammer all the words out and they are clunky, silly and wooden. I cannot stand the way it is going so I had to walk away .

    I am not sure if that story is something I can put to words. I can only feel it. I can see it in my mind like a movie. I want to add in the parts that I wanted to play out not what truly happened. I want my fantasy to come out in the words so I can share what my dream is. This idea has been in my head for years upon years but only recently was I able to really see the true end result. I want it. I want it so bad but it is not flowing. It is stuck.

   The words are not coming.

   The RIGHT words are not coming.

   Maybe they never will.

   I am not giving up. I am just walking away for a bit from that story.

   I will just allow the words to flow for other tid bits. For all my items within my blog are my day dreams, my fictions, my thoughts. My words that I cannot say anywhere else for they are always misunderstood.

  Music soothes me now as I write other things.

Taylor Swift - I Knew You Were Trouble

Seems lyrics to a song can spark something inside a person.
Not all of them fit you to a T but there are lines that make you just sigh with pain or passion.
This song says a lot. Fits more than one situation. Can crawl all over you in an instant with many emotions.

Addicted

And after the first taste of his lips I was addicted, like herion and a needle pressed against my skin waiting to be injected.
Waiting to be filled with a great feeling. A high I could get from nothing else.
No one else but him.
There's no escape.
But it's okay because I don't want one.
I taste him and realize I have been starving my whole life.
By ^elle

Fan Fiction Fun - Jared

Jared was tired of the mess that Sky created by just being around them all the time. He considered her Shannon’s girlfriend and it irritated him to no end. He hated the fact that his brothers hands were on Sky. Glaring over to the two as they shared a lounge chair on the beach whispering to one another he felt as if his heart were being ripped out of his chest. He knew he had to resist Sky and the growing affection he had for her. It drove him to distraction this attraction he had for this woman who was so not his type. He knew she was not for him as he had been told he needed to be with some super model. He snorted then took a drink of his soda and turned away from them and decided to just ignore it all.

Sky noticed Jared’s attention on them as they lay together in the chair. She whispered into Shannon’s ear.

 “He is pissed. I can feel it coming off him in waves. I think this is it. I am going to antagonize him into action.”

Shannon smiled, laid a soft kiss to her cheek and said, “Go for it love. Get him stirred up. Make him lose control. Once he does you have him.”

She disentangled herself from Shannon and stretched lazily. She could feel Jared’s eyes roam over her bikini clad body and she caught his eyes with her own green gaze. She allowed the challenge in her own eyes to blaze forth and she grabbed up her towel.

 “Problem?” she said as she watched Jared.

Snorting, he shook his head saying.  “No problem…well…wait….” He stood and followed her as she walked off towards the hotel. “I do have a problem…with you.” He growled softly as he came up behind her.

Sky’s whole body shivered with his nearness and she looked over her shoulder in a nonchalant manner. “Oh what is your problem now?” she gave a hot glare then stepped into the cool lobby of the hotel heading for the elevators.

“You are my damn problem, always here, always distracting me…everyone from their jobs.” He said hotly as they paused next to the elevators.

“Me distracting you? Oh hell, you do not even know I exist so you can just stop being a drama queen.” She huffed and stepped into the elevator.

He strode in after her and stabbed the 5^th floor button and glared at her.

“I am not being a drama queen and you know what the hell I am talking about.” He snapped at her as he stood before her in only his white shorts.

“The hell you are not. Look at you following me in here just to bitch at me for some made up reason.”
She snapped back at him then pushed past him as the doors opened on the floor.
She stalked down the hall toward her room. Slamming the door key into the lock she turned the handle as the little light turned green.

With a glare at Jared she said, “ You just think you are too damn good for anyone so you put down the likes of me”

She went to shut the door in his face as she was truly pissed off now but he pushed the door open and followed her into the room.

“Likes of you? What the hell does that mean?!” he growled at her.

She gasped as she realized he was directly behind her and she whirled around to look up into his blazing blue eyes. She felt intimidated for a moment then she glared back at him and stabbed him in the chest with a finger.

 “You think since you are so hot you need some hot chick to be on your arm; you do not even look at what is in front of you.” Her eyes filled with tears as this struggle to get the voice of her triad to hear her, to see her and it was starting to wear on her. All she could think of is him, his eyes, his body and the way it would feel when they finally came together. It was her soul that cried out to him and she longed to touch him in a way to show him her love.

Jared was enraged at the girl in front of him saying such things but then those green eyes blazing with anger and lust stopped his tirade like a brick wall. He stared down and it was as if a veil had lifted from his vision and he gasped softly. He saw her for who she was his soul mate, the one woman that could heal his battered heart. His hand reached out and when his fingers touched her cheek she sighed softly as did he. The battle he had within himself to keep away from her was lost. He knew that this woman was the balm to his soul and he needed to stop worrying about what other people thought.

“Sky…..” he whispered then ran his fingers over her cheek down to her jawline and then his thumb traced over her lips.

His touch made shivers race through her body and she knew in this moment she had gotten through whatever had been blocking her before. She sighed his name softly, “Jared.”

His name on her lips made a hard shiver go through his body and without thinking one moment that hand that was on her jawline snaked around to her neck. With a strong, fluid motion he dragged her into his body and his lips crashed down to hers. The first taste of her sent him into frenzy and he heard her groan of pleasure which spurred him on. Then he realized there was no stopping now as his body was a raging inferno. He needed to be buried inside her body as this was his woman, the one he was always meant to be with. The mind that moves the voice to sing.

Her body was on fire as his lips ravaged hers and she could feel his arousal as she was crushed to his body. Her hands threaded into his hair, her body quivering with the desire to be conquered by this man.

“Jared…please….please...” she gasped softly as his lips found their way to her neck and his arms wrapped around her tightly. Her clothes were ripped from her body and she cried out in pleasure as his teeth found the sensitive flesh of her neck. Soon they were both naked and she was slammed against the window of the room. She felt his rigid length probing between her legs and heard his voice rasp in her ear.

“I need you love…now please…”

“Yes..yes Jared now please.” She ground her hips against him as the heat built within her to a place she could not stand any more she needed her man to take her over the edge and make her his own.

With a groan of pleasure he slammed his cock deep inside her hot depths. He felt how hot and wet she was and then he felt her orgasm slide over his length. The silken, heated sheath clinging to his member, milking him for all he was worth. He had never in his life felt such pleasure. He cried out, ”You are mine” as he slammed into her over and over and through the fog he heard a small voice inside his head and it whispered. Take her, mark her, and bite her to make her your own. Now. He felt his own orgasm coming fast, he felt her bottom pushing against him as he rammed into her over and over again. Then with a cry of animal rage his teeth bit down on her neck. Her whole body went rigid in his arms and the orgasm that ripped through him was mind boggling.

The feel of his hot shaft inside her was stroking her quickly to another orgasm. She loved the feel of him against her and it felt right. Then the small voice said, allow him to claim you. Then she felt the pain of Jared’s teeth sinking into her neck and the orgasm that took her in that moment was not of this world. Stars and rainbow colors shot through her vision as the pleasure shot through her body and her soul. She imagined in that moment the entire world felt the pleasure of the act as well. Her body arched against his and she screamed his name in pleasure.

His name screamed from her lips made him pound harder into her and his own orgasm took over. It was as if he became her in that moment and he reveled in the pleasure he felt for both of them. He realized in that moment that this little, annoying beautiful woman was his soul mate, the part of himself he had been searching for all his life.

Soon they relaxed and he scooped her in his arms to lay her on the couch. Snuggling down beside her he looked at the mark on her neck. He could see blood dripping down from the wound and his cock stirred. This was his woman, his mark; no one had better ever touch her ever again without his permission. He cuddled her in his arms and sighed with pleasure. He had found his soul mate and he felt lucky.

Part of Your Story

I wish I would be a part of your story, not just a short sentence but a chapter.

A chapter filled with wildness, passion, tenderness and even some angry words scattered in there for good measure. I want to read lines like; I laid my fingertips along his jaw as I stared into his eyes falling in love all over again. Or perhaps it would go like this; The door slammed and in he came, all blazing eyes and determination. With one possessive jerk I was back in his arms, his lips crushed to mine as he claimed me as his own.
Those things bring me to my knees thinking they could have been us.
Those things that are within my mind of what could have been are like the grandest romance novel and the hottest erotica ever written.

Write me a chapter in your life. Bring me to life once again with your touches and smiling eyes.

Quietly Writing

   I have finally gained the courage to write the story I need to get out of my head. It is a story based off the deepest fantasy within my soul. It is a painful story to write because the fantasy it started out to be slowly started to materialize into reality and then shattered into dust.

   My expectations are what really hurt me in the end as I was the one seeking things that the other had no idea about. I blamed myself for so many things that happened and then I finally took that step back, intellectually heard what was being told to me. It was no fault. It was what it was. There never would be an 'us' a family unit that I dreamed about. It was not going to happen with this beautiful soul that entered my life. So I took the dream and shut it down.

   Now once my mind has wrapped around the reality of what has happened I am grateful for the time I had. No matter how small, how short, I cherish it. I do know it would have been a magical time if the walls had come down. I now can face what I do not have. Now I can look at it, examine it and spin it into what I want. I will allow the tears to slide down my cheeks as I write those heart wrenching parts and laugh out loud where the joy is. The story will be true to my fantasy but it also will be true to life. Emotional drama, love, hot sex and lots of communication that works and some that doesn't.

It will not be easy to write this story for my heart still flutters at the thought of his lips on mine and his dark eyes staring into my soul.

I will still come here to jot down some ideas, some interesting story tidbits when I need a break from the whirlwind of fire I am walking into.

Blessed be my readers.....

Last Storm of the Lost Girl

   Thunder could be heard in the distance and when she looked up over the barren meadow she could see the storm approaching. Spring had come to her meadow and now so did the storms.

   Wasn't this how things grew? Rain falling on the seeds of life and making things grow. Though it is a painful looking process. Tender, raw green stalks pushing up through the rough ground and things that prey on their newly budded leaves. Little bites of pain lancing over their new born skin as they tried to stretch towards the promise of wonder in the world. Never driven back from the pain of growing though, those newborn little buds of life kept stretching and growing.

   A shiver washed over her small form and she tugged her jacket tighter around her. She knew pain. She knew loss. She also knew passion and love and friendship. She was now sitting once again on her rock in her meadow. At least she had come down from the mountain rock where she sat alone, brooding and stewing over things she could not control. Foolish girl. Learned her lesson.
She wanted to be bitter. She wanted to hate. She wanted to stomp back and forth in rage.
Mostly she wanted to lay down on the new grass of the meadow and sob with the pain of being left behind.
Allow the tears to water the new buds of spring and perhaps something good would come of her.
But she did not do these things nor feel these things.
She learned something valuable up on that gray slab of cold rock in the mountains.
She learned she has worth but most important she has self worth. She learned to listen to her intuition and know her soul.
Sitting on that mountain rock, cold and lost, allowing the pitiful tears to blur her vision was not who she was.
No. She was not a weak person. She was not a girl who bowed down to anyone.
She was the girl with the quick smile, smart mouth and more than enough love for two.
When she heard the loving words coming from her soul telling her that she was worthwhile the tears dried up and she began to listen.
She stood, dusted herself off and made her way back to her meadow where she sat now. Her heart lighter and the sparkle back in her green eyes. It would not do to have sadness etched over her anylonger for there was so much to be done. So many places to go.

   The first few seconds when you look into someone’s eyes you will see their true emotion. In that split second you know where you stand and she needed to remember that. For that split second no one has the power to control what shines forth, especially love. A smile touched her lips as she wondered if her forest wolf had seen such gleams in her eyes, knew where he stood? Ah, there was no doubt.
And she saw those gorgeous eyes echo back to her what she shone forth.
Of course, ever the pessimist about her own worth, she did not think that was what she saw.
Then after some deep thought, some shouts from the heavens to have her listen to reason for once, she found her path. The girl turned her head to a place where the forest and mountains had a gap. It had never been there before, or she chose not to see it in the time she spent in this place.
The pathway winded between the two and disappeared into the horizon.
Where it went? She had no idea but she knew it was time to leave this place.
Just let those wandering souls come and go as they need. Be grateful when they do stop to say hello. Greet them with happiness and love. Yes, always love.

  Rising from the rock she turned to stare down at it; the place where she had sat for so many moons contemplating her emotional roller coaster of life. She was grateful to this rock that held her while she cried, laughed and sat holding her battered backpack of dreams. It gave her a place to belong to while she sorted out all her new emotions, some old ones that had come to be once again and to face her own inner demons. It is amazing how solitude will bring a person in touch with themselves, especially when they are having a personal crisis. It was a personal thing, she realized and she had learned so much. So much of her worries were unfounded. So many of her thoughts were based off assumption. She allowed things that were outside of her determine her self worth. She did not berate herself for such a thing happening, she was so very happy it happened. For she found her true self. She found that she was who she thought she was; a gorgeous, loving soul who kept her heart on her sleeve, forgave those who bruised it and kept her words true through all the strife and joy. She also found that she did not need to shout it to the sky as that was just a way to convince her sad little soul that she was ok. She wanted validation. She wanted to be loved. She wanted someone to fight for her and hike that mountain with ice picks and roses. When her true self saw these declarations she laughed for those things had happened silly little lost girl. Now you go find yourself, her inner peaceful self said. Go find and know......know you are enough. Then tears fell again but this time for joy. She loved herself and that was a first. All the hurts of the past were stored away in the file cabinet of life and now she could move on.

   A glance to the mountains where she had spent so many cold nights waiting for something and a turn of her head to the dark forest where she played with her wolf for such a short time.
Her heart clenched at the loss of that beautiful creature. She wished he had not gone away. She wished she could have showed him in some way that all would be ok. Ah but it was not her choice and that she had learned. What she chose was to be sad and now she chose to realize she needed to go on with her journey with a light heart. Cherish your memories girl.
There were so many adventures out there to experience. Perhaps she would not see her mountains or forest wolf again but she held them in her heart. Close to her as she loved them dearly.
A smile touched her lips for she knew she was loved. Of course she wished for more but she would just close her eyes, remember what she saw in those lovely dark eyes of her wolf and take what she was given with a grateful and loving heart.
Thunder pealed again and the storm rolled closer. She lifted her nose up, inhaling deeply and smelled the freshening rain coming.  Letting her breath out slowly she headed off across the meadow towards the path.
She moved away from the storm, from the mountain, and the forest to stride along the riverbank.

   A howl cut through the air and she turned to stare into the meadow from its furthest edge. At the other side of the meadow, near the path that winded into the mountains she saw a flash of black. Her heart pounded. He was there. He was there. She almost broke into a run back into the meadow as her mind screamed he came for her.
But she did not move from her spot at the edge of the meadow and she saw the flash of black again. She felt her stomach flip over and with a soft sigh she turned away. She knew she must go as that is what had to happen for they both had their own path.
One foot in front of the other took her slowly from the meadow and if the wolf wished he could follow or perhaps, they would run across each other again someday.
If he came, she would welcome him with loving, understanding open arms.

“Be well my love. Be happy. “ Those softly spoken words drifted on the rising winds as the storm came into the meadow.
The howl came again and the lost girl smiled.
She was not lost any longer she had found herself.

The girl disappeared around the bend and a new journey had begun with a bright heart.

My Own Sunshine

Golden rays pierced the last vestiges of the night and dawn had come.
Her owl sat in the tree above while the scorpion sat at her heels.
Mute they were as the epic sunrise came to bathe her small form in its healing light.
She knew her worth.
Yes she did.
Grandiose dreams and all.
She loved deeply. Cared for all living things.
Always took care of others feelings even when hers were being trampled.
She was...herself and that was good enough for her.
She always did her best. Always.

Now here on the blacktop of her life she stood watching a new day come forth.
Today would be the day.
The day she would live again.
She would be grateful for all her past experiences.
She would treasure the present moment for it is what living was about.
And she would always bring her own sunshine when she went forth from this day.
For who knew who she would meet on her journey.
They may be a dark soul in need of warmth, light and love.

A deep breath in. A slow exhale.
She stepped forward to a new life.
Another adventure.

Stepping to the road once again her owl lifted from the tree and the scorpion scuttled along waving goodbye to the past.

Leaving

Lines painted on the roadway of life leads her away from the past.
She stares to the horizon to a new place, a new way of thinking.
The asphalt is hot, sticky to the touch in the heat of the sun.
She remembers how it felt under her feet as she walked along that dreary highway.
Heat swirling around her like demons, sucking away her life force.
They taunted her with condemnations that she just was not enough.
Oh! She tried to be. Tried to be all and more.
After all she was just a girl.
She dreamed. She loved. She cried. She went silent.
She could not help it.
And now she walked the road with only the scorpion for company.
Tears did stream down her face, marking their dreary path down her cheeks cutting through the dust.
Now she was numb. Nothing would come forth.
She had been left on the side of the road like a barking dog with no purpose.
Chin up, the flying owl said as it flew into the dawn.
She lifted her chin and went on her journey.
She knew with each step she was stronger.
Someone would want her.
Someone would see her value.
The scorpion followed as did the owl.
They were her dark companions on the road to somewhere.

Bad Slave

Tonight was something of a spectacle. She realized that.
Master Jared was not happy with her at all. She is surprised that she has her journal with her this evening after what happened. She figured he would punish her more than just the public spanking.
Her behind hurts but she thinks her pride is hurt even more.
Pride. That was her problem.
That slut Summer caused the problem and she would not apologize for hitting her.
So what if she broke her nose. The chit deserved it for purposefully tripping her while she carried mugs of ale to the table to serve her Master and his companions. Stupid girl.
As she went down and saw the frothy drinks splatter the men she knew she was done for.
Before her Master could snatch her up she had flew to her feet, grabbed the red headed witch by her loose flowing hair and slammed her fist into her pert little nose.
There was satisfaction when the blood flowed.
Though, fear replaced that satisfaction quickly when her Master bellowed her name.
Instantly she fell to her knees knowing she was done but she could not wipe the smile off her face. No matter what she thought about, that smile remained.
That hag deserved it.
When her Master turned her over his knee in front of everyone and spanked her till she was sobbing from humiliation and pain she felt she had gone too far.
Now she knew her Master to be a reasonable man but he had to pay restitution for what his slave did to his companions slave. She had damaged his property.
Yes, she was smiling again and that had to stop.

When Master dumped her into her room he did one odd thing that had her contemplating deeply.
He pressed his lips to hers gently, his dark eyes gleaming with mirth and he said,
"Good punch my sweet one."
Then he left her to her own devices.
She wanted a hot bath to soak her bum in and then he spanked her and did not take care of her other aches.
A smile touched her lips as she thought about how he loved to take her hard after a good spanking. She loved it as well.
She hoped he would come back....

The door opened and she glanced up to see Master Jared walking in wearing just his robe.

"Come here pet. Let us play." his deep voice rippled through her and she shivered with anticipation.

.

Electric Thoughts

Shivers of pure desire slip over skin as eyes watch the movement of her lover.
Only she can see him and all she can remember is the electric spark of when they first touched.
This arc of lightning never went away and lives within.

She longs to touch his skin again to be delighted by the shock that will race over her skin.
To see his dark eyes widen with the same shock and to share that small, secret smile for they know what they share.

Watching the wind play with strands of his hair, sliding them along his cheek. Jealousy flares at those caressing strands for she wishes it was her fingertips touching him. Wishes fervently that her fingertips were tracing the strong line of his jaw.
Desires her lips to replace her fingers on his skin.

There were so many things she missed out on when they last met.

She wanted to trace her fingers over his spine. Feel him shiver under her touch and arch as she reached the base.

To hear his voice whispering in her ear as they held one another in the moonlight. Making plans for the next day. The next week. The next year.

To see his eyes open, still filled with that sleep that makes softness on the hardest of men, and watch those dark eyes shift to love that she was there beside him.

Watch him rip open presents on his birthday and Christmas.

To know him at his best and to love him at his worst.

She will never know this. She will never truly know him.

She turns away to leave him to his life.

She only knows silence and her aching desire.

I Want...

I want to feel your skin against mine as the sheets tangle around our legs. I want to hear your breathing slow and deep as you sleep in a contented slumber in my arms. I want to wake to your dark gaze that alight with joy as I am there with you.

There is so much that I want that I feel my stomach fall into the abyss of darkness when I know it will never happen.
My soul aches with the need to be near you.
My heart breaks with the fact we are apart.

We dance within my mind to a tune that only we can hear.
we are joined together in a way that no one would understand. Not even myself.

Bring to me your pain and I will soothe it away with kisses on your neck, strokes of gentleness on your back and whispered words of love in your ear.
Remember we are the spinning atoms of positive an negative and we will always attract.

Out of Control

Realizations come in a flash and then you can't breathe as the thought settles in. Why should it matter, you ask yourself. Then you stare out the window seeing nothing but the sad images in your mind.
She sighed and turned away from the window, from her thoughts that have been plaguing her all day.
It seemed that he is on her mind at all times and she feels like a total fool for even caring. He walked out of her life without a word and it cut her to her soul. The only thing she could think of was she did something wrong as usual. Patience was something he lacked.
Being single would not be an issue. She was pretty. She had a good job. She had her own condo. She was self sufficient with her cat. Yeah, she did not need him. Fuck him.

A frown creased her brow and she decided her day was done. She needed to go on home and figure out what she was going to do next.

"Sky, come on let's go out." Cammy yelled to her upstairs and she shook her head and yelled back.
"I do not want to go out"

"You are not going to sit here on a Saturday night and moon over that fool anymore. He dumped you so let's go find some hotties and have some fun." Cammy yelled again from the bottom of the stairs.

Sky stood staring at herself in the mirror. She had on her best club outfit of tight jeans, low cut shirt and sky high boots but she felt flat. Her eyes looked flat because she felt as if he stole that from her when he left. A soft sigh escaped her as she knew she was not some awful person. She had lovely green eyes and great dark hair.

"Oh fuck it." she whispered to herself. "Pull yourself together girl."
She turned from the mirror and walked downstairs.

What seemed like five minutes they were walking into the club. She had not been out like this in a while and she was looking forward to just having a few drinks, dancing some and then going home. She decided she would act like she was 'man hunting' as her best friend Cammy would put it but she would not put any effort into it at all. She was not interested in anyone right now. Her heart ached with the loss.

They located a table settled in and ordered their drinks.

"You know you look great." Cammy said eyeing her suspiciously. She touched her own curly black hair automatically. The girl really knew where every curl was on her head. It was astounding how she could dance all night, not sweat and look like hell. She looked as beautiful at the end of the night as she did at the start.
"Thanks Cammy." she said with a smile

"Fuck him." Cammy said with a tilt to her head. "I know it's hard. I know you love the boy but he left you. You cannot let him get you down. He has issues."

She nodded and then sipped her beer.
"I know he has issues. We all have them. I tried to understand. I tried to jut be supportive but I guess I just not what he wanted anymore."

"Again, fuck him and what he wants. You are an amazing girl and he knew it. He just could handle awesome." Cammy said with a flourish of her hands then paused with her eyes wide.
"Holy shit check out the eye candy."

Sky turned her head to see two men walking into the club. The blond had Cammy;s attention for sure. She adored blonds. This guy was tall, longer hair to his shoulders and very blue eyes. Cammy was drooling and she just shook her head. Her attention shifted to the other man and her breath stopped. He was gorgeous. Dark hair to his shoulders, worn loose with a small lock hanging over his forehead and beautiful green eyes. They were both dressed nicely in jeans, button down shirts and boots but the dark haired man seemed to be a little more present. He seemed to fill his space in the room with authority and for some reason that had her attention riveted to him. She was sure that every other woman in the club was taking their inventory as well. This would be interesting.

Her gaze slid over the dark hair touching his shoulders and she wondered if it was as silky as it looked. His dark blue shirt strained over his shoulders showing he did have a nice body and he seemed, what, six feet tall. Absently she wondered if she were to bend over and he was behind her and she wore her boots would he be able to...

"Hi/" the dark haired man said with a laugh in his voice as he stood directly before her.
She blinked slowly twice then blushed. Oh my god she was just staring at the guy as he walked in, taking his inventory and thinking about him taking her from behind. Holy shit.

"Ah...hi..." she stammered and then sat mute with what she was sure was a dumb ass smile on her face.

"I noticed you and your....intense look and I had to come see what you were thinking about as you were looking at me." he said with a smile.

Her blush deepened and she really could not believe this was happening to her. Good god.

"Ah, well then that is what I was hoping for." he tilted his head then held out a hand. "My name is Alex. And you are?"

She knew her cheeks were flaming and she wondered where the hell her bravado went. She usually was a chatter box when it came to meeting people. She was not shy. She liked to talk and meet but this man, this demigod, took her breath away. He banished all coherent thought with one sultry smile. Was it wrong that the only thing she could think about was unbuttoning his shirt to see what his chest felt like, tasted like?

Placing her hand in his she smiled. "Hi Alex...I am Sky."
The moment her skin touched his she let out a soft. "Oh my"
Then she noticed his gorgeous green eyes widen ever so slightly then he lifted her hand to his lips where he pressed a kiss to her knuckles. That green gaze of his never left her own and she felt something inside her melt into a liquid fire.

"Tell me Sky. Are you adventurous?" he asked as he released her hand.

She was starting to gain her thoughts back into a coherent line and she lifted her chin.
"Yes, I think I am."

"Good. Do you want to go on an adventure?"

"Maybe."

"Well let's find out." Alex said as he settled onto a stool next to her and grinned.

Over the next 2 hours she chatted with Alex about everything that came to mind. He was a lover of all things Star Trek like herself. Enjoyed riding horses. Loved to cook and garden. He was an architect and wrote magazine articles for trade publications. She was intrigued by his humor, his sense of wonder about life and his very down to earth attitude.
Cammy was getting along famously with her blond god who was named Eric.
The suggestion came at midnight that they go back to Alex's place to have more drinks and talk where things were not so crazy.
They all agreed and within a short time she was walking into the largest loft she had ever seen.
"This is the top floor of the warehouse below isn't it?" She turned to look at Alex.

"Yes it is. I can roller skate in here." He grinned and tossed his keys into a brass bowl that sat on a table near the door.

"Oh I would love to roller skate in here." She looked around with wide eyes and he laughed next to her ear. Before she could even process that he had slipped up behind her his hands were on her arms and he was sliding them down turning her towards him.
She knew she needed to kiss him. She needed to taste him. She knew this in her soul because something was happening here. Some chemical reaction that was stealing her breath away and making her body tremble with need.
Her gaze met his and she decided it was time to finally get what she wanted. She was tired of waiting on men to make up their mind and she waited for them. This time she would take this piece of heaven and revel in it all night long.

Her fingertips slid along his jawline. So strong and sensual at the same time. Eyes locked to his she could see he was feeling the same thing she was. His breath was shallow. His pupils dilated and a look of pure need was in those green depths. The pad of her thumb slid over his lips and she whispered.
"So very lovely/"
Then she put both hands on his cheeks, bringing him down so she could press her lips to his.
The contact sent electric shocks over her body. His arms slid around her small form and soon she was crushed to his hard body and his tongue slid into her mouth.
His tongue stroked her until she was gasping for breath and she leaned back, breaking the kiss.

"Oh my....you are so very....electric." She said softly as her fingers slid into his hair and he moaned softly.
"I like that. Electric." he pressed her to the wall, trapping her there and she could feel every, hard inch of him. She squirmed against him, feeling his erection pressing to her stomach. She ached to wrap her hand around him, run her tongue over him.
"I want you little Sky. I want you on your knees begging me for more." He growled softly into her ear as his hand threaded into his hair. She then realized this was a dominant man and a thrill went through her.

"Yes....yes..." she gasped softly as his hand tightened in her hair sending little shivers of pain pleasure through her body.

"Good. Are you willing to do what I ask? I want you more than I have ever wanted anyone in my life little one. I want to make you mine. I know..." he nibbled her jaw line and said even softer. "...I know it is crazy as we just met but I have this need to possess you. Make you mine."

"I know....I feel it too." her voice was soft and reverent. She wanted this man to her core. She wanted to be filled by him. She wanted to worship him. She wanted to be that vanilla girl who crumpled to her knees ready to take what he dished out.

"Let us go to my room and let me take you?" he whispered into her ear and then pulled back. He turned on his heel and strode off to where she saw a hallway.
She needed to follow. She needed to be out of control for once in her life. She controlled everything. Every facet. She was tired of it. She wanted to be desired. Needed. Wanted. Desperately wanted and she wanted to relinquish control to a man who would take the responsibility seriously. He would, she knew he would. She did not know why she trusted him so much but she did and so with that thought she walked after him down the hallway.

Let's Go on an Adventure

  Her phone buzzed and she cracked one eye open to see the thing and its glaring light going crazy.
"What the fuck." she glanced at the clock and saw it was 11:30pm and she had been almost asleep.
Grabbing the phone she looked at the text and sat up.
Hey I am outside. Let's go on an adventure, the text said.
A grin appeared on her face as she saw who it was from. Now this was unexpected and a thrill of excitement went through her. She did not see him as an adventure sort of guy but if he was willing she was so down.
She texted back, I was in bed so I look like hell and what do you want to do?
He texted, leave your PJ's on and let's go play.
She texted, ok....give me a min.

Leaping out of bed she ran into the bathroom and gasped. Appalled at her hair she fixed that, brushed her teeth, tugged on some slippers, and a sweat jacket over her t-shirt and sweat pants.
Pulling open the door he was sitting on one of the chairs on her porch grinning up at her.

"Hi." he said

"Hi and this is nuts you know." she said as she pulled the door shut, locking it behind her.
"Where are we going anyway?"
She was keeping herself as casual as she could because it seemed she spooked this boy a lot. There were times in the past few months all she could think about was him on his knees before her but that was a whole nother story.

"Let's go play in a park. Then go eat some food at Denny's. Then we could drive around just talking. It's a beautiful night." he said standing.
Her gaze kept on his and a shiver of desire washed over her. Good goddess this boy, this delicious vanilla boy could almost get her to her knees. Shit, she would never let him know that. Never.

"Well, I like this you so let's go. I am all yours." she said with a grin.

"Good. I like that." He said. Then he lifted his hand to slide his fingers along her cheek and she grew very still. "No makeup. Good. You are gorgeous. I love it." his fingers fell away to then reach for her hand and they were running off the porch steps to his truck.

Within 20 minutes they found a large park with swings. She ran to them laughing. The ride over was amazing for his talked the entire time, they sang to songs on the radio and planned out their night. She was euphoric with all of this.

Swinging high she laughed at him as he sat still on his swing.
"Come on!!! Swing! Swing!"

"I like watching you." he said grinning at her.

She slowed and then stopped, twisting in her swing she faced him with a serious look.
"Why are we here?"

He reached out to grab one of the chains of the swing and pulled her close.
"Because we need this. We need to reconnect and this is the best way to do it. When you are laughing, playing you are not thinking. You think entirely too much so let's not think tonight and just enjoy it as it comes."

One of her brows rose at his words. They had not spoken a word to one another in quite a while and here he was talking about reconnecting. She wanted to over think this. She wanted to press him for why he left, why he pulled away so totally but he was right. She did think too much and she wanted him. She would not apologize for that. She wanted his skin under her fingertips again. There was so much to still explore, taste and experience.

"I like to play." She stood up from her swing and moved towards him. Her hands gripped the chains of the swing as she stood there , close and looking down into his eyes.
"Teach me what you like." He said softly.

Her hand lifted to trace his jawline. She could never get enough of his eyes or his voice or hell any part of him. She was addicted and fuck it, she would just run with it tonight and let things fall as they may.
"I like this..." her voice was a whisper as she leaned close to press a small kiss to his jaw where her fingers had been. Then her tongue traced along until her lips pressed to his. Her reward was a soft groan from him and his arms snaking around her small form to be pulled against his.
The kiss deepened as his tongue invaded her mouth and she had to let her own groan of pleasure slip forth. Both of her hands left the chain of the swing and threaded into his hair. She was not gentle and she could tell he enjoyed it for his moan was louder.

She pulled away with a gasp, her heart slamming in her chest as she stared down at the man in the swing that took her breath away. Took her words from her mouth. Took her sanity from her mind. She was so afraid to admit any of this to him and seem a foolish emotional girl. So she went to her playful nature.

"See that fort over there." she tilted her head at the huge dark wooden play fort not too far away.
"I say we go in there and play hide and seek. I will go hide and if you find me then you get whatever you want." She said with a grin and she knew he liked this idea for he stood and said.
"You better run girl. Run now."

With a laugh she took off to the fort to go hide. She would let him find her and she hoped what he wanted to do to her in there was what she was hoping for.

*To be continued

Submission

   Her tongue slid over her lips as she watched him walk in front of her. Ah yes this was her obsession, her addiction and her damnation. Eyes pinned to his luscious ass encased in jeans she thought about just sliding her hands into the back pockets. What would he do? Have a fit for sure and she had to grin at that. Her pet could be so sweetly, uptight sometimes. She needed to just take him for her own and get it over with.

   Ah yes, he wanted it as much as she did but there was always that delicious hesitation. It got her blood racing to know he felt so strongly, wanted to kneel at her boots but was so proud to not submit. The desperate need showed in his eyes, he did not know that and it was the most intoxicating thing she had ever seen. That desire, that need to be possessed and to relinquish control to her. He knew she could take him to realms higher than he had ever even fantasized about. He knew and so he ran.

   And here he was, striding purposefully through the mall with one thing on his mind and here she was strolling along behind him like a predatory panther waiting for the right moment to strike.
She decided that she would take him here, she would make him her own in this public place and he would love it.

 

Fire in my Fingers

   I have a fire in my fingers and I want to believe in this, in me, in you and the way your eyes burn when you look at me and remember why the world spins and atoms collide because of fate. The fire rages out of control as passion flares between us, consuming us within its powerful heat. This must be what a lightning strike feels like for when my lips press to yours all I can feel is electric heat coursing throughout my body. Hands cannot be still as they touch and feel their way to ecstasy and I know that the fire within my fingers is only drawn forth by you. We are positive and negative, forces so different yet so alike we make a spark that burns into a blaze. I cannot breathe for the desire takes my breath away and I feel light headed. I know you feel the same for you grasp me as your anchor to keep from falling into the abyss of love. Let it all go, I whisper against your lips, let us be those smashing atoms that cannot stop spinning and colliding. Let us be the lightning and allow the power of love to keep the ghosts at bay.

    The above is a piece of something that I can craft when I think of passion. There are many forms of it between lovers and since I am going to be writing a lot I need to get reconnected to my passionate soul. It had been lost for a while but I know where to go to find it. I just need to close my eyes and think about my own lightning strike.

   Passion seems to unfurl in different ways and its fascinating how it varies in degrees. There is the comforting passion between lovers who have been together a long time. This is where they are comfortable with one another that it does not matter what they look like, how they are feeling, it is just there and they can relax to their true nature. To allow the desire to flow like water through them without the worry of looking silly and this I see mostly in married couples who have had time to grow with one another.

   Then there is that passion that is between friends who grow into lovers. This comfortable friendship where they can talk about anything and know the other will always understand, even though they may not agree. The friendship sometimes allows for tentativeness in their explorations which makes it sweeter, longer, and more passionate than they could ever believe. This is a comfortable place for friends to learn one another in a new light and this is a passion that seems to evolve into a natural love.

   We now come to the lightning strike. The true looking across the room, love at first sight passion that is frightening as well as exciting and this is the one where grand romance comes from. When the first kiss happens it is like you cannot breathe for it has been stolen by raging desire. All caution is thrown to the wind and the only thing happening is heat, desire and need. Skin meets skin, heart meets heart and true soul love is born. This last passion is the most wild and dangerous of them all for it promotes recklessness. It will make people do things out of their normal realm but I say, if it happens then that realm was meant to be left behind.

   The last passion I wrote about is the kind I wish to write my stories about. For it is rare. It is the stuff legends are made of, fantasies are spun from and soul mates are born from. It makes my writing come alive and that is my desire for my readers. To step into the lightning strike and feel the hot desire coursing through your body to the point where you are left breathless just by reading my story.

   I need to harness my lightning. I need to taste it once again for it fuels my fire of passion.

Side Show Epiphanies

    These pictures remind me of my incredible life. Many eons ago I worked as a real side show oddity and it was the most amazing time of my life. I walked on glass, did the bed of nails, blade box, illusions and snake charmed. It was incredible to learn the trade and embrace it fully in my youth. Thanks to John Strong and his traveling Side Show I had the chance to live a little bit of the 'circus' life. He believed in me, taught me and allowed me to become a little bit of a star on stage. I am so grateful for this experience.

    As I thought about my life so far I realized I had a great one. Had a great one and will continue to have a fantastic one. I thought about some of the wonderful people in my life and the ones that have come and gone. I am blessed for these people touched me in so many ways and I hope I touched them as well. I want them to be happy and this is what brought me to my hard realization that I had been focusing on the wrong feelings.
 
   Then today I had an epiphany while I was driving home and I knew in an instant that I am truly living an incredible life.  There have been times when I have forgotten about the good things and have focused on the bad. Focused on the loss. Focused on the things I thought were wrong with me. Now that the shadows are sloughing off my soul I can see that I am still all bright and shiny on the inside. I cannot be kept down for long.

   Truth be told I had some people I cared for very much slip out of my life to go in their own direction. It bruised me and set me back a few steps. My instincts were to run after them but then I realized that they needed to do what was best for them and it was not personal. Friends will come and go, that is the way of life. The only thing you can hope for is that they find the happiness that they seek and that perhaps someday they will come full circle. Then you can enjoy the long talks of their journey. Such a wonderful thought!

  So my heart is light. I have no sage words here except I needed to jot something down as my mind was full of feelings. (Those pesky things!) And I am sure I will come back here later after a hard workout, have a beer and let the imagination roll. Maybe I will close my eyes, think about some wonderful kisses and have a bit of a fantasy of what could happen next.....hmm....sounds like a plan.

*blows kisses*