Thunder could be heard in the distance and when she looked up over the barren meadow she could see the storm approaching. Spring had come to her meadow and now so did the storms.
Wasn't this how things grew? Rain falling on the seeds of life and making things grow. Though it is a painful looking process. Tender, raw green stalks pushing up through the rough ground and things that prey on their newly budded leaves. Little bites of pain lancing over their new born skin as they tried to stretch towards the promise of wonder in the world. Never driven back from the pain of growing though, those newborn little buds of life kept stretching and growing.
A shiver washed over her small form and she tugged her jacket tighter around her. She knew pain. She knew loss. She also knew passion and love and friendship. She was now sitting once again on her rock in her meadow. At least she had come down from the mountain rock where she sat alone, brooding and stewing over things she could not control. Foolish girl. Learned her lesson.
She wanted to be bitter. She wanted to hate. She wanted to stomp back and forth in rage.
Mostly she wanted to lay down on the new grass of the meadow and sob with the pain of being left behind.
Allow the tears to water the new buds of spring and perhaps something good would come of her.
But she did not do these things nor feel these things.
She learned something valuable up on that gray slab of cold rock in the mountains.
She learned she has worth but most important she has self worth. She learned to listen to her intuition and know her soul.
Sitting on that mountain rock, cold and lost, allowing the pitiful tears to blur her vision was not who she was.
No. She was not a weak person. She was not a girl who bowed down to anyone.
She was the girl with the quick smile, smart mouth and more than enough love for two.
When she heard the loving words coming from her soul telling her that she was worthwhile the tears dried up and she began to listen.
She stood, dusted herself off and made her way back to her meadow where she sat now. Her heart lighter and the sparkle back in her green eyes. It would not do to have sadness etched over her anylonger for there was so much to be done. So many places to go.
And she saw those gorgeous eyes echo back to her what she shone forth.
Of course, ever the pessimist about her own worth, she did not think that was what she saw.
Then after some deep thought, some shouts from the heavens to have her listen to reason for once, she found her path. The girl turned her head to a place where the forest and mountains had a gap. It had never been there before, or she chose not to see it in the time she spent in this place.
The pathway winded between the two and disappeared into the horizon.
Where it went? She had no idea but she knew it was time to leave this place.
Just let those wandering souls come and go as they need. Be grateful when they do stop to say hello. Greet them with happiness and love. Yes, always love.
Rising from the rock she turned to stare down at it; the place where she had sat for so many moons contemplating her emotional roller coaster of life. She was grateful to this rock that held her while she cried, laughed and sat holding her battered backpack of dreams. It gave her a place to belong to while she sorted out all her new emotions, some old ones that had come to be once again and to face her own inner demons. It is amazing how solitude will bring a person in touch with themselves, especially when they are having a personal crisis. It was a personal thing, she realized and she had learned so much. So much of her worries were unfounded. So many of her thoughts were based off assumption. She allowed things that were outside of her determine her self worth. She did not berate herself for such a thing happening, she was so very happy it happened. For she found her true self. She found that she was who she thought she was; a gorgeous, loving soul who kept her heart on her sleeve, forgave those who bruised it and kept her words true through all the strife and joy. She also found that she did not need to shout it to the sky as that was just a way to convince her sad little soul that she was ok. She wanted validation. She wanted to be loved. She wanted someone to fight for her and hike that mountain with ice picks and roses. When her true self saw these declarations she laughed for those things had happened silly little lost girl. Now you go find yourself, her inner peaceful self said. Go find and know......know you are enough. Then tears fell again but this time for joy. She loved herself and that was a first. All the hurts of the past were stored away in the file cabinet of life and now she could move on.
A glance to the mountains where she had spent so many cold nights waiting for something and a turn of her head to the dark forest where she played with her wolf for such a short time.
Her heart clenched at the loss of that beautiful creature. She wished he had not gone away. She wished she could have showed him in some way that all would be ok. Ah but it was not her choice and that she had learned. What she chose was to be sad and now she chose to realize she needed to go on with her journey with a light heart. Cherish your memories girl.
There were so many adventures out there to experience. Perhaps she would not see her mountains or forest wolf again but she held them in her heart. Close to her as she loved them dearly.
A smile touched her lips for she knew she was loved. Of course she wished for more but she would just close her eyes, remember what she saw in those lovely dark eyes of her wolf and take what she was given with a grateful and loving heart.
Thunder pealed again and the storm rolled closer. She lifted her nose up, inhaling deeply and smelled the freshening rain coming. Letting her breath out slowly she headed off across the meadow towards the path.
She moved away from the storm, from the mountain, and the forest to stride along the riverbank.
But she did not move from her spot at the edge of the meadow and she saw the flash of black again. She felt her stomach flip over and with a soft sigh she turned away. She knew she must go as that is what had to happen for they both had their own path.
One foot in front of the other took her slowly from the meadow and if the wolf wished he could follow or perhaps, they would run across each other again someday.
If he came, she would welcome him with loving, understanding open arms.
“Be well my love. Be happy. “ Those softly spoken words drifted on the rising winds as the storm came into the meadow.
The howl came again and the lost girl smiled.
She was not lost any longer she had found herself.
The girl disappeared around the bend and a new journey had begun with a bright heart.
No comments:
Post a Comment