Heart Cave's In

   Her eyes drift upward at the precise moment he steps into view. Her heart stops and she feels like she cannot breathe as he moves away from her through the crowd. Eyes pinned to him she watches his graceful movements, the way his arms swing and the way his hair moves in the breeze. He has no idea she is there, watching, desiring. A part of her heart, the scarred beaten part, squeezes painfully and she tells herself to look away. There is nothing to see. There is nothing there. He does not want you so do not watch. Her mind tells her the logic but her heart beats hard, her breath is shallow and her cheeks flush with her wanting of him. She wills him to turn and look at her. Wills it with every fiber of her being so that she can see the same desire mirrored in his eyes. Then all her dreams come true, she is in his arms again with his lips pressed to hers.

A few quick blinks and she realizes he has disappeared into the crowd.

Just a ghost floating across the ether of her heart.

The Four Agreements

   There comes a time in a person's life that they must take a long look inward at themselves. In that scrutiny they have to ask some very important questions. I have been doing this recently and have found issues about myself that I had not realized I was causing. Little by little I have delved into these tidbits of myself to realize that there is a special person under all the bad I heap upon myself.

   There is a book I am reading called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and it is a book that will bring on a transformation.
Here is a tidbit of it:

The Four Agreements are very simple, but very profound. To embrace and live each of the Four Agreements is to find yourself experiencing personal freedom--possibly as never before.  The Four Agreements are:  Be Impeccable With Your Words

Don't Take Anything Personally

Always Do Your Best

From the cover of the book I saw these words and realized this is something I need to read now. I read these and made comments to each one of them so I am aware of what path I will be walking upon during this journey. Be Impeccable With Your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. - This is something I am very aware of and try to do. I know words have power so one must be careful with what they say. I am guilty of using words to speak against myself. It seems that if anything bad or unhappy happens to me it has to be my fault. I did this or that wrong or I am just not a good enough person, etc. I realized that this bad tape playing over and over in my mind was projecting negativity into the world and bringing it right back to me. I have watched what I have said and not said in the past few months. I have chosen my words wisely and will continue to do so. Never would I wish my words to hurt, I only wish to show my love and uplift those around me. Don't Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering. - This is the hardest lesson for me. For example I feel responsible for those who leave me. I feel as if I were better or prettier or smarter or something more they would have stayed. I know now that I can only live my own dream and if someone wishes to come play with me in my world then welcome them with open arms. When they leave then they are off to pursue their own dream and I should not have any hurt over this as it is not personal to me. I should be happy for them as they go off on their journey. My self esteem issues are the root here and those are being worked on. The first person to love me has to be me and until I love myself unconditionally then no one else will. Work needs to be done. Don't Make Assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. - I have been making sure I do communicate clearly with others and making sure that the communication is filled with love and compassion. I want to have my say but it is scary at times to ask those questions because you are afraid of the answers. I have made so many assumptions and they are all negative towards me. I rarely will put down others but I will if it serves my bruised ego and this is something I must work on.  Always Do Your Best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. - I always do my best so I believe I am at a high here.

This book will help me find more inner peace and when I have that then I will be a better steward of the people who trust me with their hearts, minds and souls.

Strangers

   One look was all it took for the light to shine in her eyes.
   One kiss was all it took for her to fall.
   One click was all it took for her to know he was gone.

   One heart broken.
   One heart healing as she writes these words.

   One soul moving on.

A Note On Why I Write

    A profound quote by Ian Thomas on writers.
  
   The above quote is so true that when I read it my mind went into about a thousand directions. And each direction my mind went it had a set of words to describe how I felt and that is why I am a writer. Those words, those what ifs eat my brain away on a daily basis and so I write to get them out.

    I feel deeply and when I do I need to describe it, to put it all down in a way that soothes my soul. I do understand that words have power. I do stick my foot in my mouth quite a bit. I do talk too much. I know that I am overwhelming with how I speak and so I have learned to temper what I say. When I do say something, it is always well thought out because words have power and I never want to wield such power over someone I care about to have them hurting after I have had my say.

   I am here to just purge my mind in a place that is meant for such writings. I am here just to have my say without overwhelming anyone. I am here to hide.

 I will write what is on my mind, what is in my heart and what is in my fantasies.

 It seems like all I write about is loss and sorrow but in reality those things keep me in touch with the emotions I need to write. Everything that is here is excercising my writing mind to keep me sharp and my words flowing when I may be stuck on a chapter in my book.

I have a lot of emotion in my soul but the largest part is happiness and gratitude. I look at life with bright eyes, ready for tomorrow and what may come. I have been lucky to have loves in my life that uplift me to a place where I feel as if I am the greatest thing in the world. That is a major ego boost to a gal who does not have much ego. (Well I try not to)

I came across a thought this morning.....I will write about it....because lust can motivate to a good tale. I know lust. I know the desire for someone that is so intense your palms itch to touch them.

I want to fuck you like cheap beer on the couch, my head thrown back screaming your name.
I want to make love to you like a fine wine, slow and easy, bathed in love as we stare into one anothers eyes.

Those are the images I get in my mind, the words that come to propmpt me to write.
To release the feelings that do overwhelm me at times.

So please forgive the outbutsts of saddness.
And enjoy the outbursts of passion!

  

Savoring the Kiss

I remember when you leaned in quick to kiss me, and I swear that not a single force on earth could stop the trembling of my hand as I lifted it up to slide along your cheek.
I felt your skin under my fingertips and the trembling shifted to us both.
We were lost. That fast we knew. We were lost in one another.

You deepened the kiss with a yank of my form against yours.
Your tongue sliding into my mouth and tasting me as if you could not get enough.
I felt like your elixir of life and you were determined to savor each stroke.
When my fingers left your warm skin to trail into your hair I felt as if I were floating on a wave of pleasure. Those strands slid through my fingers like a silken plaything that I wanted to bury myself in.

Soon we were tangled in one anothers arms, lips never parting. No, they would not part for we were fused in this insane craving of one another.
We were each others drug of choice. We were high on the kiss. On the feeling and the possibilities.

The kiss went on. Hands sliding under clothing to find skin. We needed to touch the warmth that was growing by the moment. We needed to be deeper in one another.

I needed to feel more.

When you broke the kiss to stare into my eyes I felt as if my world ceased to spin. I was lost within the dark gaze you pinned onto me. I could see into your soul and mine reached out to yours.
No words were needed. We were lost.

Bucket of Soul

I am a trusting person.
I am a trustworthy person.
I trust that all human beings are inherently good.
Sometimes I feel they have a selfish streak in them.
I know I do. I know others do.
But I am careful with sensitive baggage. I am careful with your words.
I take them to heart and cradle them close.

I am a communicator.
I talk a lot but not haphazardly just jawing all over not taking care of what I say.
I have found that my communicator nature has not served me very well lately.
I feel that my constant talking, posting and seeking can drive people away.
I have witnessed it.
I have lived it.
I feel I am misunderstood. I feel assumptions were made.
(And here I am making some myself aren't I?)

I am overbearing. Overwhelming.
I may be these things but I was lost in silence. Lost in a place where I had no direction to go. No guidance on what to do, to say or bring to the table.
I did the best I could with what little I was given.

Then I needed to go.....

I came here to write in a place that is my own.
I came here to share my heart and my mind.
That may be dark or light or bathed in the red light of the XXX world my mind gets into sometimes.
But I share so that perhaps, just perhaps, I touch someone just right and things are smoothed over.
I share to get my words out there into the Universe. To share my joy of writing, of communicating with everyone.
I love spinning tales. I love it when people love them and want more.
That is the reason I exist: to make others happy.

Is it so bad that I want to be happy too?
To have something work out the way I wanted it to?
Am I selfish?
Perhaps.

Right now my soul has a shadow on it.
A shadow of uncertainty that haunts me. For I constantly sit and wonder what happened.
Where did you go? What did I do? Am I really such a bad person? Did I say something wrong? Did I do something rude?
I want to ask outright. I want to go to you and say what happened but I am afraid.
I am afraid of the answer I will receive for it may be bathed in a frustrated, angry tone which means I have hurt.
I am strong. I will stand up for myself when pushed. I will yell. I will fight. I will not be pushed around when I have had enough. I will always stand tall, honest and proud. I will be strong.
But there are times when I wanted to be weak....to just fall to my knees and be safe with my words.
To know my words were heard and accepted.

So I come here and I talk to the ether.
I come here to just empty my soul into this bucket and then stare down at the mess it has become.

Dramatic? Ah yes, but then that is the writer in me.
Perhaps all this purging, this letting go of things I cannot control will help mend the soul in the bucket. Maybe it will shapen the writer in me and my own dreams will come true of writing my stories for the world to read.
These words. All of them are my way of shedding my insecurities, standing up and saying what is on my mind without fear. Without censure.

I am not a broken person, just a slightly damaged one. (Aren't we all?)
I am just trying to erase the shadow on my soul.
Trying to understand myself. Learn from my mistakes.
To understand others and the path that they need to walk without me.
To love with out expectation.

To live with a shiny soul that will be able to just bring happiness to those I love.

I am just a girl with her soul in a bucket hoping I find a line to hang it out to dry on.

The Three C's

   Today was a reflective day. I began to reflect on my life the past year or so. I found that my life had turned into a roller coaster with dizzying highs and heart crushing lows. With all of this I found out a few truths about myself that made me realize that I had been living a flat line life. Now I was out there experiencing life on a moment to moment basis with lots of emotion flowing through my soul. It is addicting. I love living.

   While in reflecting mode I began to think about how I got to this moment in my life. There was a time when things got pretty rough and my life slid into this strange neutral position which was not something I was not used to. I am happy it happened for it got the 3 C’s of relationships involved. I am very big on these 3 C’s for they are essential to any relationship a person may have with another person.
The 3 C’s are: Communication, Compassion and Compromise.

   You see my lifestyle is very different from the ‘normal’ folk out there in the world. I have always been a lone wolf standing off in the distance unable to really mesh with people well for my thought processes are a little off the beaten path.
So when I got married 22 years ago it was a little shocking for me to know there was another person who could put up with me, accept me for who I was (am) and roll with the twisty mess that I am most of the time. We have always been best friends through these 22 years and this is what keeps us going onward with smiles and happiness.

   When the turmoil began I began to see all the talk we had about our lifestyle over the years had been just talk. We talked the talk but did not walk the walk. This hit is between the eyes like a 2x4. The roller coaster began and I felt alive again. I felt emotion flowing through my heart and soul. I had become complacent in life and this shook me out of that gray world. We both began to realize we had been taking one another for granted. We needed to have these bursts of emotion, of discord so we were actually working in the relationship, not just being lazy. The foray into the lifestyle did bring us some surprises.

 Who knew that my first foray out into the lifestyle we discussed for so many years would put me at the end of my path.  Who knew I would hit the end result of my desires the first time? Who knew that his foray out into the world would find a snake in the grass that he had to learn how to combat?

   Well these discoveries took us both out. We were not prepared for it and so the communication began. We talked all the time, even when the talk was not comfy at all. All our discussions were not happy ones but they did get us to where we understood where the other was coming from. While we talked the compassion came out. This is where we made sure each party was apologized to when foot in mouth syndrome attacked. We soothed when we could and then stepped away when needed. The compromise came about as the epiphanies began to appear. We knew we could not have all things our way. We had to deal with the broken hearts, the bruised ego's and the frustrations of the path we chose.

   All of these things made the core of our souls stronger. We are the core, we need to remain strong so we can take the leaning of others. We are the forest, the river and the mountains. We provide love, safety, and family. We are proud of this. I am proud of this. I am proud of my growth and my capacity to love. Such an amazing time I am in and all I want to do is share this joy. I want that joy to soothe, comfort and bring smiles.

 Is that so bad?
 

A Letter You Will Never Read

Dear Friend,

    I wish that salutation was true. I wish we were still friends.

    One day you disappeared and my heart stopped beating, my breath caught in my throat and I felt the tears begin. No warning. Nothing was said, you just left me there alone to figure out what had gone wrong again.

    I began to examine my ways. My words. My actions. I felt as if again, I had done something irreparable. Again I somehow was the one who was destroying what could have been, though I had no idea what had happened. I was left adrift to sort things out on my own, to make assumptions and then be afraid to inquire. I only wished to be your friend. I only wished to make you happy.

    I was prepared to be your shoulder to lean on. To be the one who would try to make you smile when you needed it. I only wanted to be what you needed me to be, what you could handle me to be. I understood your words in our last conversation. I accepted. I embraced only your happiness for mine is secondary when it comes to my friends. I would have been your silent partner in all of this, ready to lift you up when your hopes and dreams crumbled or to celebrate when your dreams came true.

   I know I talk too much. I know I am filled with emotion. I am but a girl with a light side and a dark side. I rode the uplifting words of our conversations and slid down the darkness of our silences. But I always tried to listen, to understand and be that person who you could call friend.
I am who I am. Lots of talk. Lots of love. Lots of overwhelming emotion at times. But I am aware and have tried to temper these things. I never got a chance to show you my new ways. To show off how good I can be in all things. You may ask why I care so much? I have no solid answer but I do know you have gotten under my skin and I could see that we could have had one hell of a friendship. A grand, crazy, let's play in the garden, swing on the swing set, drink beer while drifting on a lake kind of talk all night friendship.

  And so here I am writing a letter you will never read. Here I am lost in the what ifs of a friendship that will never be. I wish things were different but know this; I did care, I do care, and I always will care. This is how I am wired. This is how I feel. I will not apologize for it nor be ashamed for it. I am a loving soul who wanted to share her light of friendship with you.

  I ask one thing of you, of the Universe, as I slip away into the darkness.....please remember me.

 Your Friend,
    the Lost Girl


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Making Assumptions

   There is a saying that goes like this; do not make assumptions because it makes an ass out of you and me.
I agree with that.

   Sometimes a thought will hit the mind and it attacks with a vengeance. Today I had one of those thoughts come to play and it put me in a very bad place. I have been struggling with a loss of a friendship that has me in a sad state.

    One thing that is hard to handle is not knowing what I did wrong. I am the queen of foot in mouth. I am not perfect and I do sometimes fuck up. Like we all do. We all are guilty of doing something that another takes wrong. Sometimes assumptions are made and we jump to conclusions and make rash decisions. You would hope that friends would be able to come to you with their concerns. Get it all out in the open and make things right.

    I feel I am a reasonable person. I feel that I have others best interests at heart. But when a person walks away from you, after you both have understood one an other's position in a certain situation, you are left thinking; oh my what in the hell did I do wrong now? You are not given a chance to know what the hell happened. So you sit and wonder what kind of horrible person you are. You begin to believe you hurt someone you care about and it tears you up inside. You have no idea what to do except quietly go away as they seem to want you to. You are afraid to even utter a word as you fear the condemnation and anger that will be laid upon your head. Even though you have no clue what happened, you still feel responsible for the issue since they left you. Since they left you....it stands to reason you are the bad thing in all of it.

    That is where I am now. Stuck in this place where I am left without answers and perhaps I do not want them. Perhaps I am not as good as I thought I was. Perhaps I misread all the signs that I was even worth a little time. These are my own issues, my own bad tape playing in my head so I do tend to push those thoughts of less than away. But I will admit, it is hard when you lose someone.

    I do know I did the best I could with what little I was given. I tried to be as nice and cool as I could. I tried to see everything from your point of view and even offered my hand to help in any way I could. Even though helping, being a shoulder to lean on, would have killed me inside for it was not what I wanted. But your happiness was important and I felt I was doing all I could and not getting much in return. That did make me a little insane.So maybe I said too much sometimes. Maybe I did not say enough. I am not sure but I needed some slack. I am a girl after all. Not reasonable sometimes. A little crazy. But less than most.

  I wish I could tell you I am sorry for whatever is hurting you. I wish I could make you feel better. I wish I could fix this chasm that has grown between us but it seems that you are not interested. Does it hurt? Yes. Do I blame you? Yes. Do I blame myself? Yes.

  I wish you could see this and know.....I did really care. I still do.

  Then I came to a realization not too long ago since the above was written a few weeks ago. I found that I had to step emotionally away from things for my emotions were based off my own ideas and I needed to look at things with my mind in charge. I was taking everything personally and I should not. For what someone else chooses in their own life is what they choose for them, it has nothing to do with me. I know I am ok. I know I am gorgeous. I know I am a good person. I know...a lot and I accept it. I do not have to like all the things I am faced with but I do accept them.
There are times I stare in the mirror and think; what the hell is going on with you girl? Why so lost on this? My inner Goddess shrugs and says "Sometimes it just takes one soul to get under your skin in just the right way and you are done for. It's an itch you can't ever scratch right, you keep reaching for it."
Yeah. Well so, guess I am not impervious to things as I thought I was. My inner Goddess laughed at me. She said "Well my dear Iguess your walls were just knocked down and then you went down on your ass. So where are you now? On your ass or up on your feet?"
I had to think about that, where am I? I feel I am up on my feet, walking along this path of learning. There are days I still condemn myself and fall on my ass but I pick myself up. I say stop being a silly girl and step on outta there. Don't be a worrier!

With that being said do I wish things were different?
Oh hell yes but we are where we are. It is what it is.
There is nothing I can do about any of it except be grateful for the time I had and move on with a loving heart.
There is no resentment. There is no hatred. There is no animosity. There is only accepting love.
If our paths cross again someday then it will be a grand reunion.
Until then my dear one.....be well on your journey and know you have a loving friend here.

Now...I write my book....the one I truly wish to share. One of love at another level.

Blessed Be.

It Vibrates and Plays Music

 “It vibrates and plays music!”

Sky grinned as she turned to show her friend the big pink vibrator.

 “You gotta check this out!”

Grinning from ear to ear she stood in the middle of the sex toy store and waved the plastic package around.

“Sky!” Ginger whispered as she came close and tried to take the vibrator away. “Put that back and let’s go, I am not liking it in here.”

“How come? This place is cool. Check out all the fun stuff!”

“Cause men are staring at you like you are dessert.”

Sky glanced around noticing more than one man was eyeing her.

“Well I’ll be dammed.”

This was new to her. She was not the kind of gal who got looks from men, and good looking ones to boot. Her five foot tall, chunky figure was not what ‘society’ demanded of females. She considered herself a healthy sized athletic girl that had curves where they belonged and a butt that did not quit. She knew she was pretty but not dramatically so but she did know how to have fun and here was fun.

“Ginger come on, this is where we need to get our rocks off.”
Sky said none too quietly and Ginger’s gasp of embarrassment was what she was hoping for. Grinning she grabbed the pink vibrator that played music back off the shelf and thrust it at Ginger.

“You need this one. It will stand up at attention forever and play the star bangle banner as you cum.”

Ginger’s face reddened, she whirled and then stormed out of the room leaving her alone with the interesting pink vibrator.
With a soft laugh she stood there considering it for herself when a voice startled her out of her examination of the vibrator.

“You don’t need that thing. It is an atrocity.”

Sky turned to see a god. Yes, it had to be Zeus himself standing there grinning at her. Blue eyes gleaming with amusement, black hair tousled just right over his forehead and a body that could be the long lost brother of David, but with the arms.

“That bad?” She said as she glanced back at the pink vibrator. “I find it fascinating. Music and sex are interchangeable.”

He snorted then plucked the package from her hand, placed it back on the rack and stood in silence.
Sky looked up at him as he studied the wall of fun. His faded blue jeans hung low on his hips, torn in all the right places, his blue dress shirt strained over broad shoulders and his boots screamed I do not take any shit. What the fuck was he standing beside her for? Was he blind? Insane? Desperate? Finally she began to feel self-conscious about her clothing for the evening. The black mini skirt was feeling too short, the boots too high and the red shirt a little too low cut. Did she seem desperate? She could feel her cheeks color a moment then she was startled out of her inward dialogue by his comment.

“This is the one you need.” The package in his hand took her breath away. It was one of those life-like dildos with a suction cup on the bottom. The thing was supposed to be an exact replica of some porn star. His blue eyes were gleaming with a mischievous light and Sky felt her embarrassment slip away and her natural teasing personality take over.

“Wow, I would never leave my house with that thing. Don’t even need help with it.”

She took the box from his hand and laughed as she looked it over. Then he took it back.

“Hey now…wait a moment…I may want to buy that one.”

He shook his head slowly and smiled that wicked smile.

“You don’t need that thing when you could have the real thing.”

“Real thing? Me?” she leaned close in a conspiratorial manner, “If you have not noticed I am not the prettiest girl in the room so the real thing is something few and far between. So I think Big John there and I will get along just fine.”

She reached for the box again and he pulled it away. His other hand came up to cup her chin gently, his blue eyes darkening with sternness and what could only be called desire. This last aspect had her head reeling. This did not happen to her. Things like this never happened to chubby, invisible Sky.

“You have gorgeous green eyes. Tell me your name little one.” His thumb had started stroking the side of her cheek and it was making her body shiver in pleasure.

“Sky.” That one small word slipped past her lips as if in a dream. She wondered when she would wake up and realize she had been having one of those wet dreams again.

“Sky. Perfect. Now Sky….are you interested in something more than this?” He held the box holding the Big John dildo up but his eyes never left hers.

“Yes.” She could do nothing more than whisper as she felt enthralled by this gorgeous specimen of a man.

“Are you willing to not think, just do whatever comes naturally right now?” His thumb continued to stroke her cheek and she was in his thrall.

“Yes.”

“Good.” His thumb shifted to drift across her lips and then it fell away. “Come, let us see what kind of natural things we can do.”

“Wait…wait.. what is your name?” Her insides were tingling with desire and a small bit of apprehension.

“Alex but you can call me Sir. Understand?”

“Yes Sir…but….I do not…” she shook her head and then noticed that the small room that held all the adult toys and movies was empty.

He loomed over her and watched her closely.

“You do not want to have an adventure? If not, there is the door and you can leave. If so, follow me and I promise a lot more fun than Big John.”

Never had this happened. Oh my god, she was going to have hot sex with a sex god in the back room of a sex store. A glance around and then she saw him walking towards another door that was behind the counter. She followed him slowly, the anxiety building in her stomach but feeling the growing wetness between her legs. She had not had sex in any form with a living being in over a year. When her boyfriend had left her for that whore she felt like she was worthless. Maybe she was not worthless after all and she picked up her pace to pass through the door.

In That Moment...

A single touch brought her from her silent reverie as she stared out the window, watching the snow fall silently.
She turned slowly to see him there with a rose in his hand, pulling it slowly along her jawline as he knelt beside her.
His dark eyes watched her with desire and love. The velvet touch of the rose against her skin sent shivers through her body.
An ache filled her chest. She missed him so much. She did not know why this soul moved her so but he did and now she was lost once again in the mesmerizing gaze.
Fear kept her still. Green eyes on his as she assessed in her mind what to do. Her heart screamed to touch him. Kiss him. Take him and make him see you belong together. But the fear overrode her and she sat mute, watching him with trepidation.
Nothing was said. Both remained silent.
He smiled softly, his gaze showing his compassion, his love and he leaned forward.
His lips brushed softly against where the rose had been a moment ago.
She stopped breathing as his lips caressed her skin. She was lost.She had no will power here.
He leaned back a bit, eyes meeting hers and she saw there the raw need. The desire to just be with her and forget the world. It was conveyed in those eyes of his and she felt things deep within her tighten with anticipation. Felt her heartbeat slow and hear it pounding in her ears.
His lips then brushed over hers and her breath mingled with his. The soft words whispered into the silence from his lips.
"I am lost to you. Completely lost."
 Then he claimed her as his own. That kiss was not one of apology or even desire, it was a pure claiming kiss. It screamed you belong to me and she accepted the taking as her arms slid around his neck.
The red rose fell to the floor at her feet as their kiss deepened and in that moment I swear we were infinite.

A Lost Girl is Born

    The tears ran down her cheeks unchecked as she stared out the window. The pain that washed through her soul was intense and she could not stop her sorrow if she tried. An angry sigh escaped her and she wiped the tears away. Why was she torturing herself for this whole mess? Why did she care so damn much? Her green gaze shifted upward to stare at the stars but what faced her was startling. The moon rode high in the sky, almost full and glowing white. Surrounding the moon was a triangle could that glowed with the moonlight. Her mouth formed a small o as she stared at the apparition. After a few moments of staring at the glowing triangle she let out a pent up breath. She jumped to her feet and ran outside. Face lifted to the glowing wonder above she reveled in the amazing sight she was witnessing. Warmth spread through her and quotes came to her mind instantly from one of her favorite motivational speakers.

 

 Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you. Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed.

What we think determines what happens to us, so if we want to change our lives, we need to stretch our minds.

   She stood under the triangle of moonlight and clouds and pondered these thoughts in her mind. She soon realized that she had to choose a path. There was the path of pain and loss, the dwelling on what could have been. Or there was the path of laughter and happiness where anything was possible. She smiled, the tears on her cheeks long dried in the gentle night breeze. She felt herself step on the path of light, the path of happiness and she felt the wondrous happiness fill her soul.

 

"Perhaps all will right itself in time." she whispered to the moon.

 

"Thank you for showing me the way home." She turned and went into the house, to her bed, and to her dreams.

The bridge before her sways in the wind and she pauses in her headlong flight. Hands gripping the rough rope of the bridge she stares down into the chasm below. Sharp rocks stretch toward her, white water crashing around the spires and she feels a shiver of fear. Her gaze lifts to stare at the opposite side of the swaying bridge and her life waits on the other side. Does she have the courage to walk across the shifting ropes and planks? Knuckles white she grips the rope and glances towards the menacing river below. She can almost hear it taunting, step out, and step wrong so it can claim her forever. Her eyes close and she draws in a deep breath. Lungs fill with the crisp clean air that is scented with water, granite and pine. She feels these scents; these things of nature purge the poison out of her soul. She feels the sadness, the pain, the crushing loneliness flow out of me to disappear. She opens her eyes to stare at the other side of the bridge. She ignores the frayed ropes of the handrail and the cracks in the wood as she steps out onto the still swaying bridge. All she can see is the salvation on the other side, all she can taste is freedom to be who she is without apology. '

 

   Chin lifting she steps boldly out again and again, eyes only on the possibilities of what is to come. In the middle of the bridge she falters slightly as she see’s something black sliding in and out of the trees on the other side of the chasm. The wind picks up, the bridge sways more but she clings to the handrails watching that black ghost move in and out of the trees. She cannot make out what it is and she is afraid. Fear clutches at her heart and she feels herself slipping. She can almost hear the triumph in the crashing water below, eager it is for her to fall into its murky depths to be dashed into nothing. Her breath catches as the black ghost comes into view and she smiles wide. Her heart no longer feels fear and it leaps into her chest with happiness. The black horse rears as it reaches the other end of the bridge and its neigh echoes throughout the forest. Courage returns, the bridge stops swaying and her eyes cling to the horse as she knows it will carry her to the next phase in her life. Moving forward again and again. She can see the glossy coat of the horse, the flowing mane and tail as it stomps and twirls as she gets closer. She feels the joy emanating from the noble creature and she knows she must ride. She must take this horse to the next destination in my life to purge the ghosts from my soul. The wind tries one last time to dislodge her from the forward flight and she clings to the ropes. Soon she is jumping off the bridge onto the land and she throws her arms around the majestic steed. She feels her courage strong within. She feels her soul rejoicing at the return of who she truly is. Leaning back she stares into the dark brown eye of the horse.  She presses her forehead to his and breathe out allowing him to take her scent and she takes in his. She feels the merging of a true friend and she sighs with relief. With a cry of joy she leaps to his back and with a whirl of hooves we are off on our magical adventure.

Black Triangles

*A bit of a story I am working on. Sci Fi is the ticket along with some romance. thinking on which way to go with it. This story excites me. I think this is the one.

    A deep black triangle hovered above her and she knelt in the cool grass frozen in fear. One moment she was walking in the moonlight back towards her house and the next she is kneeling under something so large it made her entire body compress into itself. She felt as if the blackness was going to crush her where she knelt and a soft whimper escaped her. It was a solid mass, black as pitch and there was no sound. Everything had gone silent and the thing, whatever it was, was as silent as the air around it.

   After a moment she craned her head back slowly, worried that any sudden motions could make it attack, maybe a beam of light would come out and steal her. Oh god, what the hell was this thing. She could see where it ended a long way off to her right and then she looked to her left. Yes it was a triangle shape. She looked closer trying to discern recognizable feature on the underside of the craft but nothing was there. A soft glow of violet began to illuminate the underside if the ship and with a cry of fear she shrank back.

In her mind she heard a voice,"Mind, listen, watch. "

The violet light began to swirl in a circle on the blackness of the triangle, more colors coming into play; green, red, yellow. A picture formed and she gasped when she saw it was Earth as seen from space.

 “Watch, Mind.” The voice said gently to her.

The Earth such a beautiful marble of life swirling there so serene. The picture shifted to show the Earth again but surrounded by large pyramid shaped ships with a few ovals scattered here and there. Another shift to the picture and there were dark, spiky ships now facing the triangles, ovals and pyramids. Earth remained beautiful and swirling but there were lines of color crisscrossing everything in her view. Lines of every color imaginable. They hummed with power; she could feel the hair on her arms lift and stand straight. The scene shifted again and she saw herself standing within a circle of stones that were anchoring these lines of color. She felt them under her feet, above her head and within her hands as she caressed them with loving attention. She was no longer crouching under the massive ship she was reaching toward it, toward the picture on its underside. She was aching to touch those lines of power, to know what it was like to fly.
The picture flashed quickly to another and the earth was dead. She cried out and fell back to the ground, her soul aching with pain of those who had died. A glance to the ship still above her showed the earth a dark hulk of what it used to be. It was surrounded by the spiky ships but none of the triangles, ovals or pyramids were there. Somehow she knew that those spiky ships were responsible for the devastation on the earth and the other ships were the protectors. Why did they leave to let this happen? Anger washed through her and strength that she never knew she has arose in her and soon she was standing screaming at the ship above her.

“Why did you leave us to die! You were here and then you left us to this!”

 Tears fell from her eyes as she stalked under the ship back and forth, shaking her fist at it screaming. “You left us damn you!”

“Mind!”
The booming voice within her head sent her to her knees with a painful whimper.

It was silent again and she peeked upward to see the ship still there but dark, the devastated earth was gone and all was black again.

“Mind.”
The voice said again, gentler.
“Listen. Learn.”
 The voice said and she knelt there staring up at the ship.

“It will not come to pass if the Mind finds the Voice and the Strength. Find them. You are the Mind; find the Voice and the Strength. Become one before all obstacles and prove your solidarity before us. You will know when. Do not let this be your fate.”

The blasted earth showed again on the underside of the ship and she gasped.

“This is your fate if you do not hear us. We will aid if the Triad is together. Show solidarity. Work together.” The voice went silent and the ship began to rise upward.

She stood and screamed, “Who are the Voice and the Strength!”

Faintly the voice came to her, “Watch your dreams, step outside the lies of your lives and you will find one another.”

    The ship hovered a moment then in a blink it was shooting upward in the star filled night. She stood there watching the space in which it had shot into, frozen with indecision and then she realized the night sounds  had come back. A cool breeze brushed tendrils of hair against her cheek, crickets chirped and a dog barked in the distance. She turned to see the back door light of her condo in the distance and her mind tried to process what happened. Suddenly the weight was back and she spun around to see if the ship had returned. But it was not the triangle; it was one of the spiky ships she had been shown in the pictures. She could feel the dark malevolence within and she shrank back in terror. It came closer not stopping; it was going to crush her and she crumpled to the ground.

   A scream echoed throughout her bedroom as she came out of the dream. In an instant she bounded from the bed to slam into the closet door and pressed herself to it tightly. Her eyes were wide as she stared upward at the ceiling. Her heart pounding within her chest she gasped for breath and her stomach roiled with nausea. Eyes darting around the room she realized she was alone, she was in her room and she began to assess she had had a bad dream. A bad dream. Oh my god, a dream. She remembered every second of the dream and when she thought of the spiky black ship her stomach heaved. Running to the bathroom she threw up and began to cry.

Jump to the Moon

Jump to the moon
with a light heart!
Leave your worries behind
and follow the footprints of your ancestors.
Know with surety that you are on a soul journey.
One that will take you through the
webs of your life.
Do not struggle.
Do not resist.
The tangles will become undone
with your bravery on this path.
Bring only your pure love
and all will unfold as it should.

Hotel Romp *Adult Fiction*

   Night has a way of seducing one to doing things that they would never do in the light. That is what happened to me on a Wednesday night this past January. When I walked into the small coffee shop in the hotel I did not have a clue that my night was not going to go as I thought it would. It would take a twisty turn that would blow my mind, hell it still blows my mind when I think about it.
There were two people in line and I had the fortune to be standing behind the most luscious ass I had ever seen on a man. The tight black denim was hugging those buns so deliciously I was thinking about how they would feel in my hands. Of course I was lost in my own fantasy of grabbing his ass that I did not notice him turning to stare down at me. Startling blue eyes met my own astonished green ones and I was so proud that I did not blush. Well, maybe a tiny bit on those cheeks of mine but perhaps he attributed it to the cold biting wind outside. He had no qualms about looking me over from head to toe like a man ready to purchase a horse. Mind you, I am not horse sized but I do admire the majestic steeds so the analogy works here. So, here he is looking me over like he is seeing something interesting then without a word he turns and orders his soy latte. Soy? Really?  How foppish can that get?

“Foppish?” he says with one brow lifted, looking down at me. Oops, did I say that out loud, inwardly I winced but luckily I was in a mood so I was quick with my comeback.

“Ya, you know foppish, weak, kinda silly.”

“What if I am lactose intolerant? Am I still foppish?”

I shook my head being totally serious. “Nah, that is a medical condition that cannot be helped therefore soy is acceptable.”

“I see, well I am glad I can meet your standards of medicated lactosity.”

Lactosity? Was that even a word? I shook my head, laughed softly and ordered my tea with milk, stressing the word. All I could think about was fucking this man. I wanted to hear him groan with pleasure as I go down on him. Wow, I must be tired as I am getting into erotic fantasies in the coffee line.
I kept my eyes on the tight assed stranger as he paid for his coffee and did not flinch away when his eyes met my own. I remained bold as I did want to see him without any clothes on. It was becoming an obsession.
“Enjoy the soy.” I saluted him as I turned to grab my tea.

 I knew the burning hole I was feeling in my back were his eyes focused on me. I took a deep fortifying breath and turned to see his gaze pinned to me. Oh goody.

    Jared watched the sarcastic beauty pay for her drink. He thought she was incredibly sexy with her wind tousled black hair and cheeks reddened by the wind. He could see a hint of cleavage through her jacket and that intrigued him but what had his attention was her ass. Shapely and sensual he wanted to sink his teeth into it and hear her moan with pleasure. He felt his cock harden slightly at the image of her under him. He decided he needed to know more about this woman. She must not recognize him, he thought as he leaned against a post nearby and watched her finish her transaction. He needed a good fucking and he could tell this woman was just what he needed. Someone who could match him insult for insult, few could do that and he chuckled softly as he wondered if he could get her to lose control. She seemed like the control type. Would she take a spanking? That ass seemed to need a few smacks to calm that mouth down. Well, he had something for her mouth that would keep her silent for a bit.
A brow rose at her comment and he was unmoving as she strolled past him toward the door. Oh hell no, he was not letting this one go. He needed a challenge as life had become way too predictable these days.

“Perhaps we could enjoy our respective drinks together? Discuss the merits of soy versus milk?”
He hoped he was baiting her well enough, he wanted her annoyed as it made those gorgeous green eyes flash. He saw it earlier when he looked her over from head to toe.

I turned at his comment I could feel my sarcasm brow rise high. “The merits of soy? Wow we may have ourselves a short conversation.”

His laugh reverberated throughout the small shop and he stepped closer. I could smell his cologne and something else that made me feel a little light headed. I wanted to bury my face in his chest, run my fingers through his hair and feel him tremble. I wanted to have him on his knees before me begging. Goodness, I needed to get this man in bed and fast.

“Soy has many health benefits, as do many other things.”

“Oh? What other things are healthy?” I had to slightly tilt my head to look up at him. My hands were itching to touch so I had to exercise some control there lest I let the game get too far to fast in a place we cannot go further.

“Veggies are healthy.  Exercise is healthy. Sex is healthy.” His voice had dropped lower with each word until the last one was almost whispered. I felt the shivers down to my toes, hell China probably felt them. Hot damn, this guy was mine. Now I need to reel him in.

“Veggies are yummy. Exercise feels good. Sex is awesome but I get little of it. I feel I am off my game in the latter. Perhaps I just need more of it, the sex part.” I batted my lashes at him thinking it would be sexy but I think by his grinning reaction it was more of a cute thing. Wow I do suck at flirting.
He was closer now and I could see his blue eyes were ringed with a darker blue on the outside. His face had the slightest shadow of a beard. Oh how that would feel on my skin and between my thighs. I had to get this beast into my bed. I could see we were being bold so I would go there as well.

His blue eyes darkened at my comment and suddenly I was being crowded to the post behind me, his bigger body scant inches from mine and I could not suppress a shudder. I know he saw it because his eyes changed from a playful heat to a predatory lust. For a fleeting moment I wondered if I had bitten off more than I could handle.

“I could help you practice. As they say, practice makes perfect. But first things first little one, your name?”

I gathered my attitude around me and replied, “Sky and yours Soyboy?”

His laugh came again and it rippled through me like molten heat. I knew this was going to be good. This was going to be excellent for my ego. I had been lacking in the male companion department lately with my aging body and eyes that do not see so well anymore. But hot damn, they were seeing just fine right now.

   Jared stared down at the beauty who was taunting him. She wanted sex, he could see it in her eyes and smell it like an erotic perfume. It drew him in closer to her and he knew he needed to see her beneath him. She was quick witted and he loved that. Soyboy, and he had to laugh at that. He decided it was time to cut the shit and get to business.

“My name is Jared and would you like to take your chai with milk up to my room. We could then get some practice in.”

He waited for the blush, the stammer of embarrassment and the retreat. Most women could not handle his straightforward approach. He smirked as he waited, sipping on his coffee.

I snorted as I could not help it. He was a blunt thing and he thought he could intimidate me. Well he had another thing coming because I was the one who was going to take a bite off his hide.
“Lead the way Jared.” I nodded to him then stood there smiling.

His smirk faltered then shifted into a small thoughtful frown. Ah ha, he was not expecting me to answer this way. I bet he thought I would run off screaming like a scared little girl. Well he had another thing coming; I was going to tear his ass apart. I stood waiting for him to lead the way.
It was then I realized I was in trouble; this was a dominant cave man. I had over played my hand. His hand snaked into my hair to circle the back of my neck. A hard shiver raced down my spine at his touch. His voice low, his eyes bright he said. “You tempt me way too much. Think twice about this Little Sky. I may not maintain control.”
I needed to regain my composure, licking my lips I said just as softly but with some steel laced in my voice.
“I will have enough control for both of us. Lead the way Jared.”
I watched those blue eyes flare with a hot passion, then my hand was in his and we were striding out of the coffee shop.

  He gripped her hand as they crossed the lobby towards the elevators. He could feel her hand in his, strong and cool. This was not a woman who was faint of heart and he felt his hard on growing. He wanted her out of those bulky clothes and naked on his bed. He did not know why he wanted to take her so badly but he did. He felt like a starving man standing at a buffet and could not decide on where to begin feasting. The ding of the elevator announcing its presence shook him out of his reverie. He tugged her into the elevator and right when the doors closed, he made his move. His lips crashed down on hers in one swift movement and slammed her against the far wall of the elevator. He could feel the coolness of her lips from the trip across the street and he could taste the chai on her lips. He deepened the kiss feeling like he was drowning. He decided his feasting of the banquet of Sky would start here in the elevator as she was too delicious to not tempt him.

  Goodness, we were not wasting any time at all I thought briefly then his lips were invading mine and my insides jumped with a wild thrill. I was going to get thoroughly fucked and I was looking forward to it. Jared was so gorgeous with those big blue eyes, dark hair falling in shag over his forehead and from what I could tell a strong athletic body. All my favorites. Yummy for me. Then his tongue was sweeping into my mouth and I felt like I was be devoured from the inside out. My free hand found his hair and threaded there none too gently. I heard his soft groan of pleasure and I pressed harder against him. Good god, this was going to be a glorious night. My mind was reeling as I tasted his coffee, felt his hard on pressing against me through all our clothes and then the goddamed ding of the elevator. For a moment we stood there locked in that kiss, a clearing of a throat caught his attention and he glanced back. I craned my neck around his shoulder to see a woman standing there, mouth open and a frown creasing her brow. But when she got a load of the hot male I had plastered to me her expression changed to one of oh my god, and I knew her astonishment at his beauty. A sultry grin crept onto my lips and I tugged Jared past the woman.

“Gorgeous isn’t he and get this…I get to fuck him.” I grinned wider and winked as I walked past the woman who gasped at my audacious comment. Jared’s laughter rang down the hallway. God, I do rock at times. My brain was firing on all cylinders tonight and I was ready for a night of legendary sex.
“You and I are going to have a smashing good time. I want a good fucking Soyboy.”

Oh he loved the sarcasm, the quick wit and the fact she was not afraid to do or say what she felt. What a release and now he felt he could be the same way. The look on that woman’s face was priceless. Coffee from Starbucks: $5, Hotel Room: $150, Making a businesswoman eat her tongue in shock: Priceless. He laughed as he stabbed his key card into the room lock and leaned down to her ear before he pushed the door in.

“You will get a good fucking Little One. Trust me, you will be on your knees begging for more by the time I am done with you.”

He was hotter than he had ever been and all he could think about was burying his cock inside her, feeling her clamp around him and scream his name. He knew this was a strong woman, not someone who would wilt at the first sign of dominance. She would not be easy to control nor make kneel at his feet in submission. His hand tangled in her hair as she brushed past him into the room and he realized in that moment he was only thinking about fucking her, not dominating her so much. This was new, he mused as the door shut. He let his hand remain in her hair a moment then it slid free, its soft silky stands tumbling down her back. He loved long hair and he was going to enjoy every inch of her.

   A glance around the room showed he was only in town for a short time as his bag was small. I wondered how I ever gained the attention of Jared, the lead singer to the band 30 Seconds to Mars. This was interesting as he had not let on who he was and I sure the hell was not letting on that I knew. This would be an interesting night for sure. Shrugging out of my coat I let it settle to a chair and I face him. His eyes were doing that claiming stare again and I liked it. Normally a man who would look at me at any point like he had some ownership would get a roll of the eyes and a snub. But from Jared it was hot and sexy. It made all sorts of things inside of me tremble and weaken. Something new. Nice. Running both hands through my hair I strolled over to the window to take a peek out. I did not even know what floor they were on as my attention was on his lips attacking mine in the elevator. God that was good and I wanted more. When I turned back to him I saw he had removed his coat as well. I crossed the room to him with a grin and pressed my hands to his chest. I slid upward and sighed in pleasure. My eyes never left his and I could see his blue eyes darken a shade with his desire. One hand went north to trail over the v neck of his shirt while the other one headed south to toy with his fly.
“Kiss me.” My voice came out in a commanding growl as my northward hand had found its way to the back of his neck to bring his lips to mine.
I could see the shock in his eyes at my tone but he obeyed and his lips were finally against mine again. A moan of pleasure escaped and I pressed her body to his, that southward hand remaining in southern territory clamping on one ass cheek. Oh yes, just as luscious as I had imagined.

  Her hand on his ass, her lips devouring his were making his head spin and he was not used to this at all. It was unnerving and exciting all at the same time. When women tried to dominate him he was usually unmoved by it as they did not seem to want to do it for any reason than to say they dominated Jared Leto. That always pissed him off but this time a woman was dominating him solely because she wanted him desperately. He could smell the difference in the air and feel it in her touch. She was starving for him and was going to eat him alive and he was going to enjoy every bite she took from him. His tongue swirled into her mouth and his own hands slid to cup her ass, dragging her hard against his hard length. Tearing his lips from hers he bit her jawline gently, growling softly.

“I want you now…on the bed…”

He began to press her backwards towards the bed, wanting her on her back and spread before him.

  I felt my legs bump the bed and then I was sitting on it. I looked upward to meet his dark blues that sent a thrill of desire through me. I knew that evil gleam was in my eyes  because he actually lifted a brow at my expression.

“Soyboy, please remove my boots.”

I kept my gaze remained locked to his blues and I dared him to disobey. I knew Jared was a top, I knew he was a dominant male liking things his way but I was no sub waiting to kneel at the feet of a man. Though, if he made me explode in ecstasy the way I was thinking he would I may reconsider the kneeling at his feet. That would be more of a worshiping kneel.

   He considered her for a short moment and without breaking eye contact he knelt before her. His hands made short work of her boots, each one being tossed aside. Then each hand laid claim to a leg and his strong hands slid upward to her thighs. He rose over her and as he came up she laid backwards until she was laid back on the bed. His lips pressed to her jaw then between her breasts. Her sharp intake of breath was rewarding as he knew he was testing her control. He trailed his tongue along the swell of one breast then up to pause next to her ear.

“I am running out of patience. Do you mind if we skip the soy discussion and go straight to sex?”

    I let a soft, sultry chuckle escape at his question. My hands slid over his sides and tugged upward on his shirt.

“Then let us get cracking Soyboy.”

  He raised upward, a smile on his lips and he slipped the shirt over his head in one smooth movement. My hands had been itchy from the moment I saw his ass in the coffee line and now I had bare flesh to touch. Hurray! My hands descended to slide over his chest, thumbs brushing over his flat male nipples and the groan that escaped him was a lovely reward. I wanted to taste every inch of this sexy beast. I leaned up and pressed my lips to his chest. My tongue found one of his nipples and nibbled there feasting on the flesh. His groans and sighs were sending the heat between my legs to high. We needed some stimulation and less clothing. My hands were moving everywhere at once, it was like I could not get enough of feeling him against me and I was getting impatient.

   Jared closed his eyes briefly as her teeth scraped over his nipples. God this was amazing, he felt as if he were on fire and she was just more fuel being added to it. He realized at this moment he did not have to be nice, he did not have to be a gentleman, he just had to be a man who wanted a woman with everything he had. So letting the beast go he opened his eyes to look down at the lovely creature under him on the bed.

“Way too many clothes. They need to go now.”

He growled as he stood up and roughly began undoing her jeans. He hoped there would be no protesting as he tugged and pulled the skin tight jeans from some incredibly long legs.

   My body was on fire and as those jeans were tugged from my body I knew it was past play time and it was go time. I sat up once the jeans were tossed aside and without breaking his hot gaze I tugged her shirt off over my head. Clad only in her bra and panties I stood up before him, one hand immediately going to his jeans.

“Off…now.”

My voice reverberated through the room and was showing him my steel. My fingers made short work of his pants. I could see the tip of his cock peeking out over the waistband of his briefs. My mouth began to water at such a spectacle. Without even thinking I wrapped my hand around his thick length, thumb sliding over the pre-cum soaked head and the thrill that raced through me at the sound of his pleasure filled groan was beyond anything ever in her life. My mouth was watering, actually salivating at the thought of taking his cock into my mouth. Forgetting decorum, forgetting whom I was dealing with I allowed my dominant nature to come out fully.
With a soft shove I said, “Sit.”

 My gaze never left the tip of his cock, teasing me from its hiding place in his drawers. This was getting nuts; I needed to get that thing into my mouth. I could feel my panties were soaked with my gushing wetness and I knew one touch from him down there would have me making a mess of his hand. A soft chuckle escaped me as I watched him sit and then I knelt before him. Pants with briefs were tossed aside and finally I was there, kneeling before the most gorgeous man I had ever seen. About to taste the loveliest cock I had ever seen. I wondered if he would be offended if he knew I thought his cock was lovely. That was not a masculine thing to think about a cock but hell, who the fuck cares, I need to get to work. My hand wrapped around the thick length, I leaned forward to allow my tongue to slide over the head of his cock slowly.

“Fuck” he said through gritted teeth as her pink tongue slid over the head of his cock. He was so damn close it was amazing. Just watching her take control, watching her literally drip with desire before him as she looked at him like he was something good to eat and she was starving. He had not been this hard, this excited in so long it was hard to remember what it was like. This was mind blowing and they had even hardly started. He was so lonely and perhaps this had something to do with his past issues. No issues now though, his cock was fully erect and straining to be touched more. He sucked in a breath as her mouth closed all the way around him sucking gently. His eyes fluttered closed he just savored the feel of her hot little mouth sliding over his flesh, her hands sliding over his legs, caressing his balls and her hair tickling his thighs. He could feel his arousal building and he so wanted to cum in her mouth but he wanted to bury himself in her though.  Decisions to make and he needed to make them soon for he was about two sucks away from losing his load in her mouth. His hand tangled into her hair and gently yanked her back.

“Not yet….I want to fuck you. Now.”

He commanded and tugged her upward. He watched her face for any sign of nervousness or hesitation but all he saw were eyes dark with desire and lips swollen and red from their work on his cock. Holy shit that was the sexiest thing he had ever seen. He wanted a picture of that face at that moment; it was pure lust, desire and beauty. He watched her lick her lips and her hands began to work at her bra. It fell away to reveal nice sized breasts with the loveliest nipples he had ever seen.  With a brow raised at him she shook her head and he released her hair. A sultry strut to come around to the bed she bent over with her back to him as she slipped her panties off. His eyes fixed on her ass and the part of her pussy that gleamed at him with its wetness. He felt light headed and almost went to fuck her right in that position but she turned around to lay back on the bed.

“Come here lover. Fuck me and make me scream your name.”

Oh hell he did not need to be asked twice. His hands slid up her thighs, one thumb sliding through her slit. Hot and dripping wet he found her clit swollen with desire. He felt his cock harden more. His thumb slid over that hard nub and he felt her jump and cry out with pleasure. He could not resist and knelt between her legs. He did not hesitate and his tongue slid deep into her cleft to taste the sweetness there. He was in heaven.

   Oh my fucking god. I arched my back as his tongue slid into my pussy. This was incredible and I knew orgasm was one or two licks away. Both my hands found his head and I raised my knees upward to give him more access. I was losing the battle of holding off my orgasm as his tongue stabbed into my hole then slid upward to attack the clit with vicious hard licks. Just the way i liked it but then he did the one thing that made me lose control. He began to suck on my clit and that sent me over the edge.

“Oh…Jared..Yes..”

I panted then the orgasm slammed into me. I groaned with pleasure as it lit a million fires in my body. I felt him tug me closer to his face and he worked my clit until I was a shivering mess under him. As the orgasm began to wane I felt him move and without warning his cock was slamming into my pussy. That sensation after such a wild orgasm sent me over the edge again and this time I did scream.

“Jared!”

My arms went around him, my eyes finding his and I could see he was about at the edge of his control. I dragged his mouth down to mine and kissed him deeply, tasting me on his lips. His hips ground into me, his cock ramming deep into my body as it stroked me to another orgasm.

He could not hold back another moment. Shit, this woman was wild and she was making him lose control. He had never had such a responsive, sweet tasting, sexier woman in his life. He wanted to be here forever just fucking her. She was closing in on her third orgasm and it was his mission to meet her with his own this time. Fuck when she came in his mouth he almost shot his load on the floor it was so hot. He felt her hands slide down his back to feel nails dig into his ass and her teeth found his neck. That did it for him, he was done and he cried out as the sharp little pin pricks of pain hit him.
“Sky..Yes…now…” he slammed into her harder and his orgasm hit him hard. He pumped harder into her feeling her pussy clamp on him once again as she came for a third time. Her teeth were locked to his neck and he was in ecstasy. Never had he cum like this, it was like his soul was on fire.

I could feel his cock pumping his cum into my body and that sent me into another small series of orgasms. I felt like I was lava on fire and molten all over. This was amazing and I clung to him feeling his orgasm wash over him as well. His muscles tensing, releasing, his breath near my ear panting and his soft words of oh my god was making me feel amazing. Soon he relaxed atop and sighed softly.
“wow.” He said near my ear.
My fingers stroked his back, my lips pressed to the red scrape marks on his neck and I whispered. “Ditto."
Breath was coming back to me and my body was slowing down its barrage of tingles.
“Amazing…” I sighed.

He shifted off her to lay beside her on the bed, propping up on an elbow he looked down at her face and smiled.
“Fucking amazing” then he flopped down on his back beside her still breathing a little heavy.
They laid there for a bit silent, just basking in the afterglow of the good fucking when she said.

“Do you think if we turned off the lights and you fucked me from behind against the window anyone would see?”

He grinned and the burst out laughing. Oh yes this was a keeper alright and he sat up to look at the window.
“Who cares if anyone sees?” He grinned down at her and the mischievous light in her eyes made his cock get hard.

“Round two?” I said and rolled off the bed.

This was going to be a glorious night.

The Meadow *Lost Girl Series*

   Another night had passed and still she sat on that cold rock in the meadow. She was still alone with her dreams. The river flowed. The mountains rose high. The forest stood silent. The sunlight upon her face did nothing to warm her chilled soul. The backpack of her dreams laid there, a testament to her flights of fantasy and out-of-this-world ideas. A frown creased her brow as she stared at that pack filled with things that would never come true. Filled with dreams of no substance that no one seemed to be able to accept and the anger came. She jumped up from the rock, hands balled as fists at her sides and she kicked the backpack. It lifted out of the dry yellow grass to sail towards the forests edge. It landed with a dusty thump and she stalked towards it, her voice high in the cool air.

“You betrayed me. No dreams can come true for me. You are an illusion. You are an abomination!”

She kicked the pack again and it sailed into the darkness of the forest. Standing there, chest heaving from her anger she let the hot tears of sorrow, fear and loss stream down her cheeks.

“I am invisible. I am nothing. I am here alone.'"

She whispered as she sank to her knees in the meadow staring at where the pack had disappeared into the sheltering forest.

All this time she thought she had it right. All this time she thought she was right. All this time she had been fooling herself. For most of her adult life she had remained with one regardless of her wanderlust, she always remained respectful and regarded her ties with reverence. With urging from the one who protected her, they sent her outward to explore her dreams, to live life to the fullest. That one day, the one fateful day she changed her life forever. She allowed the pack of dreams to come from its resting place at the back of her closet. To dust it off, to paw through it as an eager child would with a surprise gift. She allowed herself to come out of her shell, to trust, to give herself over to those flights of fantasy. She was a child. A child of another time, another place that just did not seem to fit within this world of rigidity and that made her soul ache. Was it so hard to find a kindred spirit? Was it so hard to find someone that resonated with her? That did not look at her with whispers of condemnation? She knelt there for a while, letting the tears dry on her cheeks and then she let out a loud sigh.

“I am not a quitter.”

She said aloud to the river, to the mountains and to the forest.
With chin held high she stood, gathering the shreds of her dignity around her. Her tentative stride took her to the edge of the forest where the pack had disappeared into. The forest was not welcoming and she wanted to shy away. She wanted to duck her head in shame and allow the flaming blush on her cheeks to be a testament to her feelings. But she knew she needed to retrieve her dreams. No matter how silly or outlandish they were, they were still her dreams. Perhaps someday someone would understand them and embrace them like she did. Perhaps no one would ever do such a brave thing but she needed to have faith. She needed to know that inherently things did work out and that not all was what it seemed. With a deep breath she stepped into the forest. It was cool and silent. Her gaze searched for the pack of dreams and she saw it nestled against the trunk of a tall pine tree. She approached the pack warily as she worried she was going to be punished for being within the forest. Quickly she grabbed the pack, slung it over a shoulder and strode quickly out of the trees back to her rock.

She sat the pack on her knees, unzipping it quickly to look inside. All her dreams were there. They were battered. They were bruised but then what dreams did not go through this? Zipping the pack closed she set it on the ground beside the rock. Her gaze went to the river and she sighed softly with sadness. She needed to hang on to her dreams. She needed to remember she needed no one to validate them or her. She needed only to trust in herself. She was a good, loving person who only had good intentions at heart. Who only wanted to love and to be loved, what was the harm in that?

Night was coming again and her sorrow filled her soul.

She knelt there in the cold dry grass of the meadow; sobbing for all that she had lost and would never know when a howl cut through the air. She instantly went still hearing the wolf howl in the distance.
The memories of the wolves stalking her on the mountain top came to her and she became wary. Her gaze went around the forest edge, sensing no movement and then to the river where she saw nothing as well. Then to her right a dark shape moved between the trees and she froze. She would fight; yes she would for she would not go down without taking one of those stalking predators down with her. A hand slid to her belt, fisting around the knife she always kept with her. Let them come. Let them come and try to take her.
A soft growl emitted from her throat as she saw the black wolf slip out from between two trees and face her across the meadow. Head low, tail down it padded closer, blue eyes watching her warily. Her own green gaze watched each movement of the wolf and she wondered where the rest of the pack was but she saw no other movement as she quickly scanned the forest edge. Chin rising she stood, knife in hand, ready to battle for her life it need be. The black wolf, coat thick and shiny with health, blue eyes flicking to her own then away slinked closer. Its head was down; tail tucked between its legs and a soft whine was heard as it moved closer. She tilted her head, very aware that the posture of the wolf was submissive to her but she remained wary. She remained in her crouch but when the wolf came to her it sank to the ground and then rolled. Tongue lolling out as it grinned up at her, tail thumping on the ground. Surprise washed through her at the majestic animal lying on its back at her feet, vulnerable belly exposed. It trusted her to not impale it. It trusted her not to hurt it. It trusted her to trust it. She reached down with the hand that did not hold the knife and slid her fingers through the soft fur of the wolf’s belly. A smile touched her lips as the fine, soft hair slid through her fingers. The wolf whined and its tail thumped harder on the ground as if to say, pet more. A sliver of hope washed through her as she knelt beside the wolf, knife falling to the ground and both hands buried themselves in the black fur. The wolf rolled to snuggle closer to her, tongue licking at her cheek and she finally felt some warmth slip into her soul.

She was still alive. She was still here. She was still wanted. She stood wondering if the wolf would follow and so she scooped up her knife, tucked it away and headed to her rock. She sat down and the wolf settled beside her. His eyes stared up at her, blue as the fall sky, and she had to smile. Her hand slid over the soft fur of the wolf’s head and he pressed against her leg and she draped an arm around him. They both sat still watching the sun go down in companionable silence.