No Faith, No Trust

She saw the phone light up with the fifth call in the last ten minutes from her friend and she decided she had better answer or she would blow up the phone with her screaming voicemail.
A resigned sigh escaped her as she answered.

"Hello"

"Oh my hell it's about time you answered." her friend yelled.

She rolled her eyes knowing what was coming and leaned back with her eyes closed.

"Sorry, was busy."

"Yeah right. Now you need to get your ass dressed cause we are going out tonight."

"I really don't want.."

"I don't care what you want." her friend interrupted and then continued.
"You have been sitting in that apartment with all those unopened boxes for a week. You need to get out and do something. At least have a drink with other people rather than being some sneaky drunk in the closet."

"I am not a sneaky drunk." She exclaimed, offended but then looked at the half bottle of wine sitting next to her chair and all the unopened boxes around.
Shit, she was a sneaky, closet drunk. Melancholy washed over her. She did not know how to be single. It had been over twenty years. She was a loser. No one wanted her. And hell, she did not trust anyone anymore. They were all out for their own agendas.

"Damn it. I am coming over. At least take a shower!" Her friend yelled and hung up the phone.

"Fuck." she said to the room at large and then stood up. Looking down at her yoga pants she realized she had not showered yet today.
"Fuck. I do not want to do this." Fear raced through her but she knew she had to do this. She had to.

An hour later she was standing in her tiny kitchen washing the last of the glasses when her doorbell rang.
Opening the door she smiled at her friend who walked in carrying a gift bag.

"We are having a divorce party tonight." she said with a smile and set the bag down on the table.

"Why?"

"Cause you need to celebrate. You are starting a new life. You need to get out and meet people. Have fun." her friend pulled out a bottle of wine, two new fancy wine glasses and a bag of red vines. She grinned at the red vines. She loved those things and then she got sad as some memories hit her.

"Ah ah..no no...."her friend yelled and swatted at her arm. "No thinking. No sadness. Go out and get a fuck buddy! yeah that's it."

"Oh hell no. I can't do that. I am incapable of that." she said with a fear as she wanted that one time but was denied.

"Hey, talk to me please. I know this has been hard. I know you are mourning but its time to get out there again. People are not as bad as you make out. Men are not ALL bad."

She looked at her friend and then sighed softly.

"I don't put my faith or trust in anyone anymore. After a while you just get tired of being disappointed constantly."

Her friend stared at her a moment and then laid a hand on her arm.

"I know it's been tough. You have really found who has your back and who the assholes are, friends and foes have shown their colors. But know this, you can trust me and there are men out there who would lie down on a train track for you. So let's just go out, have one drink and we will just take it easy this time around."

She stared down at the empty glass sitting on the table and then nodded.
It was time to get out there and see what she could do.
There was no rush.
She knew her mind was tainted and perhaps time out would help make her see that her perceptions are skewed by recent events.

"Let's go before I change my mind." She said and grabbed her purse.

"Hell yes." her friend yelled.