Letters

Good Goddess.
She slammed the notebook shut and rubbed at her eyes.
It was late and she was feeling melancholy and then she had to go and read something she should have just left alone.
Whenever he enters her mind she has to write and the last conversation was not pleasant.
She rubbed at her eyes again and felt like an utter fool. A girl with issues.
A sigh escapes her and she stares out the window seeing only darkness.
She needed to stop. She had not caved into her desires and had hidden herself away. But it was hard.
A deep breath in and then she let it out slowly feeling the tension drain from her form.
She knew he cared. She saw that in his eyes. Felt it when he told her the things he did. Those things for his protection from little scary her. Yeah, scary.
He set her heart to pounding and she could not even bring herself to even want to know what he was doing for the pain was so great.
Foolish girl. Over what? How did you fall so hard for someone you barely know?
Or is that a true statement.
Her gaze fell to the notebook and with a lift of her chin she knew.
She dragged it to her, flipped it open, grabbed her pen and wrote:

Isn't it strange how with a combination of twenty-six letters you can steal someone's heart and captivate their soul?
Even stranger is how with a different combination of twenty-six letters you can make their eyes fill with tears and give them enough pain to last a lifetime.

She tossed the pen down on the table.
Stared at her writing a moment and the turned to go to bed.

Enough words.

Write What Disturbs You

The quote stood out to her.
It made her pause and think; that is what she does all the time
She writes her thoughts down and most of the thoughts are of the disturbing kind.
They are the kind that will eat a hole through your stomach if you do not vomit them out.
They need to be given life. She had been split open. Stitched back together. Then split open again.
Her words here were her way of assuaging the fear.
The way to get her point across.
But it did leave her vulnerable.

Flowing lines of words that eloquently waxed about how she understood the actions of those around her.
Apologies to those who read her word smith work and feel the pangs of uncomfortable feelings arise.
Foolish wishes and fantasies played out for all to see.
Only she knows the players within her mind plays.
Only she knows the taste of him on her tongue.
He makes her high like no other.

And even as she spins these words now she feels herself being split open and the fear rises.
She feels that when she has her words they are made of glass, primed to be smashed into a million pieces.
Her self protection alarms ring.
But she is hooked on the what if scenarios.

What if...
What if....she could look into his eyes once again.
Kiss him again. Feel his skin under her fingertips once again.
Just sit with him again in the summer heat.

Words dance across the pages of her soul diary.
She will continue to spin her words to save her soul and perhaps....

   just perhaps one day he will come riding in on the white horse to save her from herself.

Or, more likely, she will be here with her white pages and her letters on the keyboard spinning out the words to save her own soul.

She will watch him walk away again and again but she can dream her own ending.

Right?

At First Sight

Setting the cosmo down on the table she stared out the window, thoughts flitting across her face, almost as easy to read as if they were spoken aloud.
The vodka was starting to pleasantly affect her mood and she really needed the pick me up. She had an encounter today and she needed to not always go to fantasy land.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Her friend said as she sat across from her.

"These thoughts need at least a dollar." she said and looked at her friend with a small smile.

Without missing a beat her friend tossed a dollar on the table.
"Ok...spill it."

"Should I start removing clothing now? Put on some music." She laughed.

"No, I want to know who you are thinking about.....I hope not him." She said with a serious tone.

Of course her friend did not want her to think of him. She saw the pain she went through. But then she had to realize that pain was mostly self inflicted. what does one do when they fall so hard for someone and they run away. Goddess, she was a silly girl. But even through the silliness, even through the pain she did not regret one word, one touch, nor one kiss.
He was her high and she wanted more. But she had been denied even another touch. The thought of touching him made her fingertips tingle with need. She hated to watch him go about his days without a care in the world. She wanted to be his world.

"Oh come on....I can see you are thinking and thinking hard. Spill it." her friend said.

A soft sigh escaped her and she looked down into her half full glass.

"I believe in love at first sight but I will always believe that the people we love, we have loved before." she looked up at her friend and saw she was listening intently and she continued.
"Many, many, many times before and when we stumble through grace and circumstance and that brilliant illusion of choice to finally meet them again, we feel it faster each time through. The one glance that set life alight is two sets of two eyes staring through the layers of lifetimes and stolen glances and first kisses and hands held; the brace against the weight and unrelenting tide of waiting. I believe in love at first sight but am not burdened with the misconception that it's a first sight at all."

Her voice trailed off as she did truly feel that soul mates came together and put each other through trials of the heart and soul. We needed to pass the test each lifetime to gain access to the one we loved the most of all. The one we spent our ethereal time with.
She lifted her glass to drain the last of the cosmo.

"I will love him another time. I know it. Maybe in this life. Maybe in the next. But nothing hits a soul like an explosion unless it is their mate of all time." She said and looked at her friend.
She stared at her with a wonder on her face and then said softly.

"I believe you."

She nodded and wondered if she believed herself. She did not understand her attraction fully at all. It bothered her. It made her angry at times. She never reacted to anyone this way.
Goddess it made her feel weak. He made her feel like a untried school girl with her first crush.
All she had to go was think of the moment their lips touched and it was as if she was on fire again.
The best kisses ever.
She smiled and shook her head at herself.

Foolish girl. wanting someone who does not want you.

Sad.

Kiss Me Hard

 

 

The final showdown happened.

She sat staring at nothing knowing she had said too much once again.

Nothing she said seemed to get through to him and she had given up.

One too many times she had been pushed aside and she felt that she just did not have what he needed. She had to understand that.

Had to accept it no matter how she felt.

The pain lanced through her soul.

Tears squeezed out of her eyes.
Twin trails of pain inched their way down her flushed cheeks.
She had lost him.
She heard the rain falling hard outside and she opened her eyes to look out the window.
A lump in her throat made her feel like she wanted to panic.
She had to do something.
Any small thing.

Her gaze went back to the computer, saw the message was still open and without a thought she typed;

 

Kiss me hard before you go

 

Then she pressed send.
Fear lanced through her.
She closed the computer and curled up in bed.
The tears came, quietly.

Would there ever be another kiss?
Would she ever feel his passion again?

Probably not and that made the tears fall faster.

 



When I'm With You

 

She finally stood before him. It had been too long since she was with him and she had so much to say. She felt she talked too much so she just went along for the ride. They chatted. They walked. They ate. They enjoyed.

 

"Ok what is on your mind." he asked as they walked towards the car.

 

"What do mean?" She said hesitantly.

 

"You have been going through the motions tonight and I can tell something is on  your mind. So spill it."

 

"Oh its ok. I just think a lot. Talk too much. Over think. You know how I am." She looked away from him as they stopped at the car. She clicked the remote to unlock the car and as she looked across the roof of the car to where he should be standing she saw he was not. She turned and there he was next to her and she froze.

 

"Talk to me please." He said softly.

 

She chewed her bottom lip for just a second and then sighed.

 

"Ok, well don't say I didn't warn you."

 

He nodded, leaned against the car and waited.

 

She took a deep breath and finally said what she wanted to say.

 



"When I'm with you I act different in a good way. I smile more and laugh more. I don't have to pretend everything is ok when it's really not. With you, I can drop the fake smile and put on a real one. I don't feel hurt and alone when I'm with you, instead I feel safe and loved. You're easy to talk to and you listen to me. I don't have to worry about holding back with you. I don't feel self conscious. I don't ever feel insecure or sad. You show me that you really do care and that you're not just pretending. I really appreciate your company, because with you I'm different. With you I'm happy."

He pushed away from the car and slipped his arms around her. She sighed and hugged him tight, pressing her form against his. She loved being in his arms and lately she seemed to be in his arms a little more and that was just fine with her.

"With you I'm different as well. You make me smile and laugh. I feel good and happy." he said softly against her hair, keeping her close.

A shiver of anticipation washed over her as she hoped this was going where she wished it to. Great Goddess if it did it would be a dream come true.
Then her whirling mind paused and one thought came forth; courage.
She needed to just take a chance.
She leaned her head back and looked up at him. His dark gaze was on hers, gentle and filled with adoration. Her hands came up to cup his cheeks and she whispered.

"Courage."

Her lips pressed to his softly, tentatively and she let them linger for a few seconds. She did not know what he would do but she hoped for a kiss in return.
In that moment, that split second, his arms tightened about her form and he returned her kiss with barely checked desire.
She moaned softly into his mouth and then his tongue was sweeping through her mouth, devouring her from the inside out. She felt liquefied. Like she was melting from the awesome heat that raged through them both. Her arms tightened about him and her body molded against him.
This is what she wanted. This is what they wanted. This is what they needed.
This was the beginning.

Crush

Breath catches in her throat as she runs across his picture.
She stares longingly.
The world stops around her.
Sounds disappear.
Nothing enters her fantasy world.
Only he is there.
Her gaze travels over his form.
Remembering.
The feel of his body against hers.
Strong and warm.
His arms around her, keeping her safe.
The feel of his skin against hers and the shivers she felt.
Eyes on hers.
She remembers.
All of it.
Her heart pounds with desire.
Her heart pounds with fear.
Her heart pounds with loss.

Oh how she wishes.....

Puzzles

"Damn" she growled and wiped the tears from her eyes.

It made her so angry to have tears just show up when she read something that has to do with that person. It is so stupid.
She fumed as she stood and walked to the window to stare up at the big moon that hung in the night sky.

"Girl you are a fool. Fell for the wrong guy." she said softly, trying to ignore the lump in her throat and wiped at more tears.
She turned to her phone that buzzed with a text.
Her heart lifted as she saw it was from her best friend.
He always seemed to know when she was upset. That connection, that empathy they had between them was rearing its head.
The text read; Call me.
She picked up the phone and called him.

"Hi" he said the moment the connection was made.

"Hi...what's up." she said softly as she sat in the chair, staring at the moon.

"I was thinking you needed me."

"You know, this is wild. This thing we have."

"I know. It's wild but it's here so we deal. You are thinking about that jerk again aren't you?"

"Yeah. Stupid I know. I just see one thing I wrote about him or see his picture and I crumble in pain. I cannot believe it sometimes, how I still feel so strongly and it really makes me mad. I feel so used." she said and sighed softly with sadness.

"Listen, No matter what, once in your life, someone will hurt you. That someone will take all that you are, and they will rip it into pieces and they won't even watch where the pieces land. But through the breakdown, you'll learn something about yourself. You'll learn that you're strong. And no matter how hard they destroy you, that you can conquer anyone. Then you will move to the next, to the one who is supposed to be there. He will be the one who will pick up the pieces of you, try to put them back together as best as he can and lift you up every single day." he said and then sighed.

"That was amazing....really. Thank you. " She said and frowned for his sigh sounded weary.

"What's wrong?"

"Your hurts are a puzzle but I am good at puzzles, I think I am picking the pieces and putting them into the right place and healing you as best I can. I hope I'm doing a good job." His words came as a tentative whisper.

Her heart pounded and all her anguish was forgotten in the face of what he was saying. She kept her feelings for him quiet and on the inside, so afraid she would lose him if she ever let those feelings go. She realized now that he did care for her, deeply and now she was where she truly belonged. This person who knew her so well, who cared for her, who was always there when she needed him, and always made her smile.

"You are doing an excellent job." She said with hope in her heart.

I Want to Know...

Heart pounding she stared into his eyes and knew she needed to be bold.
It was time to take what she desired. To give him what he desired.

Her hands trailed over the skin of his chest, feeling his skin quiver under her touch and that sent shivers of desire through her.
Licking her lips she leaned down and pressed her lips to the skin where his heart would be.
She could feel his heart pounding and heard his soft moan of pleasure.
She whispered against his skin.

"I want to know how many scars you have and memorize the shape of your tongue." her tongue slid out to trail over his skin and she gasped softly as his hands tangled into her hair.
Her green gaze lifted to his dark one and she smiled.

" I want to climb the curve of your lower back and count your vertebrae, your ribs, your fingers, your goose bumps" her fingers found his spine and trailed upward, then around to his sides and then she rose to her full height eyes never leaving his.

"I want to chart the topography of your anatomy and be fluent in your body language." she said softly and as her fingers played over his ribs her lips pressed to his jaw. Her small form pressed to his and she was rewarded with his arms sliding around her tightly to keep her against him.

"I want you, entirely. I want to taste every delicious inch of you and become an addict. Kneeling at your feet begging for a small taste." her teeth nipped at the skin of his neck and his moan sent wild tremors through her body.

"Allow me a small taste now my love. Just one sweep into your nectar so I may be satisfied for a moment for I am about to shatter with need." her lips had made their way to his lips and those words were whispered against his.
Hands found their way around his neck and his softly spoken yes was a shout in her soul.

Her lips claimed his in a deep kiss. Her own moan of pleasure came forth as his tongue swept through her mouth and she was intoxicated, reeling with desire and love.
Fingers slid into his hair and she was falling down an abyss of desire.

She did not care if she was lost to him as long as he held her hand.

Run with me through the darkness my love, I have you and you have me.
Together we are invincible.
Let us ride the waves of our biggest dreams.

Tormented

"Wait!" He called as he walked towards her across the dark parking lot.

She quickened her steps as she headed towards her car. She did not want to have any conversation with him for she knew it would turn ugly. Too much water under the bridge and she needed to burn the bridge or drown in the rushing tormented water below.

"Good God, will you please wait!" he had broken into a run and was closing in on her.

Shaking her head she tried to go a little faster but the toe of her boot caught on a crack in the pavement and she stumbled. Before she went down his arms were around her, pulling her back against him to keep her from tumbling to the pavement. Her purse did hit the ground and her keys scattered, sending a shock wave of sound throughout the silent lot.
She squirmed in his arms, she could not be against him like this, it tore her apart to know he would just walk away after he had his say.
His arms released her but he quickly reached down grabbing her keys as she reached for her purse.
She spun around looking at him, wild eyed and angry.

"What do you want?" she said angrily.

"I want to talk damn it." he said staring at her with his own impatient anger.
Now he wanted to talk. Now he had things to say. Always on his terms.

She shook her head and held out her hand for her keys.

"Give me my keys please." she said quietly.

"No. Not until you hear me out." he said as he stared at her.

They stood silent for a moment, her heart pounding and she felt a little faint. He was so beautiful. Her gaze settled to his lips, wanting to taste him again for it had been so long since she had and she decided in that moment she was insane. Truly, utterly insane to want this person after he left her in the dust without a word. The anger flared within her once again and as she started to just tell him off his softly spoken words made her pause.

"I am so sorry I hurt you." he said gently, his eyes showing his pain and sorrow.
He seemed to sense that she was listening and he continued.

"I just did not know what to do with such emotions coming from you and within myself. It was all me, you did not do anything wrong. It was all so intense. Then the situation was not ideal and...well I fucked up. I know it. But I have to say you were so.....over the top at times, your words were all so dark as if.....you were being consumed by something. It scared me."

Her eyes on him she realized he was right. She did go to a dark place. But how does one not dwell in a dark place when they feel as if they are going crazy over someone who seems to have no interest in them. How does one deal with love pouring out of their heart unexpectedly. How? She had no clue how to deal with any of this and not only did she receive no care from him, he never gave her a chance to even try to explain or to calm down. The darkness swallowed her whole, bringing her into a black hole of swirling, conflicting emotions.
Heart hammering she looked him in the eye and said softly.

"I am eternally, devastatingly romantic, and I thought people would see it because romantic doesn't mean sugary. It's dark and tormented - the furor of passion, the despair of an idealism that you can't attain."

She paused, gathering her courage and then continued.

"I was lost in the darkness of loving someone who did not love me in return. I was tormented by the fact I was a fool to fall so fast and hard. The passion took over and slipped me into a world of fantasy where I was with you. We were happy. I was a fool. And I still feel like a fool."

He stepped forward, his dark eyes filled with something she could not put her finger on. She lifted her chin wondering what sarcasm she would be dealt.

"I felt the same way. I was lost in the darkness of loving someone I could not have." he said softly as he stood mere inches from her.

They stood there in the dark parking lot in a place of truce for the truth had been told. What happens now is only a fantasy.

Scared of You

   She froze, hand touching the door that would lead her outside and her gaze watched him walk back and forth. Great Goddess, he was so beautiful, she thought as he paced while talking on the phone. There was no way she could get around him, past him without him seeing her and that would not do. Her heart pounded and she got a little angry at herself.
She was such a foolish girl.
Yes a girl. She was not a woman with this man. Just some slip of a girl who melted when he was near.
All she could remember was his kisses, the way his eyes watched her with such need and desire and the feel of his skin against hers.
Her heart felt as if it would jump from her chest and fear took over.
This man intimidated her and she hated it.

She stepped back from the door and paused.
He could not see her for the doors and windows of this place were very dark.
She turned on her heel and walked to the other exit.
She felt like a failure for not being strong and defiant in the face of his rejection.

She pushed her way out the other door, wondering if he watched her flight across the parking lot and hoping he at least paused in his talking to watch her go by.
She wondered if he missed her. If he ever thought about her. If he wished things had been different. Wished he had done more.
A frown creased her brow and she thought, no. He did not think of her at all.

Her phone rang and she looked at it as she came to stand next to her car. A thrill went through her as she saw he was calling her.
She turned to look to where he was before and he was there, walking toward her with the phone to his ear.

She answered. "Hello"

"Hi stranger." He said as he walked towards her.
"You went by so fast I did not get a chance to say hello."

"Sorry...was in a hurry." She stammered and soon he was standing before her.
He clicked his phone off and smiled at her.

She lowered her phone, watching him warily. She did not want to play this game anymore. She did not want to be around this person who made her feel so out of control.

"Hey....you alright? You look scared." he said softly and he stepped forward with concern in his beautiful eyes.

"I am ok....." she said softly and cast her eyes to the ground.

She hated this feeling. She felt as if she was just some dumb girl who could not put a coherent sentence together. Good Goddess, she bet he thought she was an idiot.

"You are not ok." he said softer as he stepped closer and touched her cheek with his finger.

She jumped back as if shocked and her eyes flew to his.
He looked at her stunned and then said, with some annoyance.

"Really? What he hell is wrong?"

A hot anger washed through her and her green eyes darkened to a point where he shifted nervously. She sighed and then resigned herself to just saying what the hell was on her mind for at this point it really did not matter what he thought of her. He had already walked away from her and why he was here was any body's guess.
Let's say it how it is, let's be a bold ass like he is.
She lifted her chin and said.

"I've never been scared of someone before. A little intimidated maybe, but never scared. But you, you scare me with your beautiful eyes and amazing smile. I'm so scared that I'll want to love you forever."

His eyes went wide at her words but he did not say a word, just watched her with an unreadable expression on his face.

She sighed with resignation and turned away. Clicking open the car door she shook her head.
Yeah, made a complete fool of herself but at least she had the courage to say something. She dropped her stuff on her seat and froze when she felt his hands slide over her arms.

"Look at me please." he said softly.

She took a deep breath, her heart was not pounding anymore, she had run out of strength for this. She felt like the worlds biggest fool.
She turned to look up into those hypnotizing eyes and she just wanted to lose herself in their dark depths. Her breath caught in her throat at the tenderness she saw there.

"Very well said. I could not have said it better, but then you are the writer and I expect such grand things from you." he said with a small smile that took her breath away.
She remained mute just looking up at him.

"First....I am sorry about everything...second...let's go talk and get this sorted out. I know there is a lot to say and perhaps....it's time we got it all out in the open. Honestly."

His hand came up to push an errant tendril of hair that the breeze slid over her cheek. The feel of his fingers on her skin sent shivers throughout her soul.

Should she go and talk?
Would it change anything?

He seemed to sense her hesitation and without a warning he pulled her into his arms. His lips claimed hers in a hot kiss that sent her over the edge of her control.
Her arms snaked around his neck and her body pressed to his.
Her world went reeling away and nothing remained but this feeling. This amazing feeling that sent goose bumps over her skin and tingling within all parts of her body.
He did this to her. Made her lose control.
She loved it. She loved him.

Maybe he cared for her after all? Maybe this was more of the same game.

She did not know and in this moment she did not care for all she wished to do was sink in the revelation that was him. Her mind reeled with the possibilities and hope.

But she was still scared.

Always Worth It

   Her heart had been heavy for so long. It just seemed that nothing ever went right and it hurt.
She seemed to be always the one that was passed up or forgotten but when she let the time pass, when she listened to those who would counsel her, she realized she was not the problem.
It was the situation.

Her gaze went to the dark window where she could hear the wind blowing through the trees. It soothed her soul to know that the world kept going and that it reminded her that she had to keep going as well.
She knew that if she remained true to herself and not lose faith in everything, all would work out as it should.
Yes. it was hard to wait.
Yes it was hard to watch those you love move out of your life but if they are meant to be they will come back to you.
And when they do come back, they will be there to shine.

Her gaze went to her computer where a blank page stared at her and she smiled, feeling the words come to her and she began to type.

'Sometimes you look up and there just seems to be so many more stars than ever before.
More.
They burn brighter and they shine longer and they never vanish into your periphery when you turn your head.
It's as if they come out for us and remind us that their light took so long to come to us, that if we never had the patience to wait, we never would have seen them here, tonight, like this.

That as much as it hurts, sometimes it's all you can do, wait, endure and keep shining knowing that eventually, your light will reach where it's supposed to reach and shine for who it's supposed to shine for.

It's never easy, but it's always worth it.'

She leaned back in her chair and smiled feeling the happiness within her heart.
Finally. It had returned and she knew she just needed the patience to have it return.
She looked out the window to the dark skies, the stars were shining their wise light down and she smiled.

Nodding she said softly to the room.

"I see the light shining now, it is dim, but it's there and it's worth the wait."

Wish I Had Never Met You

The wind howled outside and as she glanced out the window she could see the black storm clouds rolling in from the north. They seemed to tower like black gates to some hellish place where no one wished to be. With that thought thunder rolled out and she knew tonight would be quite active with this storm.
Good, she thought as she turned back to the paper under her hand, it suits my mood.
My dark, sad, self pitying mood.

Her fingertip trailed over the white, lined paper that sat empty staring at her.
Memories came and she sighed softly.
She wished she had more time. She wished she could have said all that she wanted to say but fear kept her from it. She worried so much about other people that she mostly forgot about herself. Then she ended up with these unresolved feelings within her to sort out.

Oh how she wished things had been different. How she wished to kiss him one more time.
That thought brought a lump to her throat and she lifted her chin to force herself not to cry.
She was so tired of crying over what she is being told is nothing. He did not care for her. He proved it with his actions so get over it girl.
She slapped her hand down hard on the blank paper and in response the storm rolled out another thunderous crash.

Glaring at the paper she grabbed a pen and began to write.

I wish that I had never met you.
Then there would be no need to impress you. No need to want you. No need for loving you.
No need for crying over you. No need for heartbreaks. No need for pain or tears.
No need for forgotten promises. No need for rejected hugs. No need for crying myself to sleep.
NO need for acting like you care.
NO NEED for everything you've done to make me feel like absolutely nothing.

She threw the pen down on her desk and swiped at the tears as she looked at what she had written.
She realized that all those words were said with self pity and pain. She truly did not mean them but her pain made her think so.
"But if I had never met you I would not have the sweetest memories. Your kisses. The way you looked at me with such desire. The feel of your hair between my fingers. The way you smile when amused. All of those things make up you and that I would miss. It may hurt to remember. It may hurt to wish for more. But...really....I am grateful I met you and was able to have even the smallest piece of you."

She whispered softly into the quiet room.

Taking up the paper she crumbled it up and tossed it into the trash.
The storm was still swirling outside and she decided she would face it alone and with courage.

The Truth is I Miss You

He stood there staring at her and she knew she needed to answer his question fully and without fear.
She usually hedged around what she wanted to tell him because she was afraid of the answer. So afraid to tell the truth of her emotions to only have them dashed on the rocks of his disdain.
But not this time and she lifted her chin and looked right into his eyes. Those beautiful dark eyes that had stolen her soul so long ago.

"The truth is I stopped talking to you not because I don't like you anymore but because I thought I was annoying you." She said firmly and when he began to protest she held a hand up to make him pause.

"And I'm just waiting for you to say that you miss me because I miss you every day. Every hour, every minute, every second."
She inwardly cursed as her voice caught on the last word. She wanted to sound strong but of course failed as she felt the unshed tears threatening to fall.

He was very still, his eyes unreadable and she felt the fear rush through her and she felt a little faint. Oh Goddess, it was what she thought. He did not care and with that thought she turned away.

"I miss you." she heard him say and she paused.
"I do miss you. Very much. I miss what I did not get to know. I miss the what could have been's" He stood right behind her and she about crumbled when his hands settled gently on her shoulders.

"I just...." he sighed then started again. "I just don't know how to do this. It is all so different."
his voice held emotion and she turned to look up at him and she could see he was in pain as well.
Her hand lifted to touch his cheek and he sadly smiled, covering her hand with his own.

"I don't know how to do it either but....we can at least try. It has to be better than what we have been going through." she said gently.

He nodded then said. "Then let's talk this out."

"Yes....we do need to do that. Thank you." she said feeling like there may be some hope.

Nothing Extraordinary

"He has a crush on you my friend. Yes he does. He looks at you all the time."

Her best friend said and she turned to look at him shaking her head.

"Stop shaking your head at me. You need to open your eyes and see."

He said and she sighed.
Her gaze went to the mountains that rose up before them as the stood next to the river where they had been skating.

"I really can't picture anyone having a crush on me. I can't picture someone thinking about me before they fall asleep. I can't picture anyone getting butterflies because I said hi to them or even just smiled at them. I can't picture someone smiling at the computer screen or their cell phone when we're talking."

She turned and looked at him with sad eyes and he looked back her with a worried expression.

"I mean like....why would they even do that? I am just....me...nothing extraordinary or special."
She shrugged, trying to ignore the look of pure anxiety on her friends face and turned to look at the mountains again.

Her heart was heavy. She had been left behind so many times that she realized she was just not worth the trouble to anyone.
She was worthless.
She needed to know this and forget about trying to love when she was not lovable.
She was forgettable.
So she knew at this point what she had to do.
Just simply disappear. Not like anyone would notice anyway.
She sighed and shook her head to the world.

Tell Me About Your Passions

The new coffee shop was a great place and the grand opening was the most interesting she had ever seen. There were the normal free samples, balloons, giveaways and the like but on one wall of the shop were different sizes and colors of paper on the wall. The barista's were encouraging everyone to write whatever they wanted. Well within reason of course since it was a family establishment.
Being a writer, she thought this was an awesome idea and walked over to a gorgeous pale rose colored piece of, what looked like parchment. Her fingertips slid over the slightly rough surface and she knew she needed to write something to someone, a someone she used to know.
Looking to her left she saw a table with various pens and pencils, she chose a black pen and stared at her chosen canvas. Then the sounds of the shop faded away as the words came to her, she began to write.

Tell me about your passions.
Tell me what makes you tick.
Tell me all the things you've discovered about yourself after all these years of searching.
Why do you do the things you do and how did you get to be such a beautiful creature?
I want to get to know you so I can justify this love I already feel for you.

She finished her writing with a flourish at the bottom with her initials and stood back to smile sadly at her work. It was crazy for sure, these feeling she had but one does not choose who they fall in love with she supposed.

"I have many passions." a male voice said beside her ear and she froze. Oh, it could not be and her mind froze as her head turned to see the person she had just been writing about standing beside her.
He was looking at her with a mixture of desire and something else, she wanted to think gentleness but it seemed deeper.

"I realized, after it was too late, that I had lost what I was most passionate about." he stepped closer and she could smell his scent. That spicy, warm scent that always drove her wild with desire. His dark eyes, filled with some fierce emotion at the moment, were pinned to her and she felt as if she could not breathe.

"What was that you lost?" She said a little breathlessly.

"You." he said softly. "I was a scared boy trying to act like a man who did not care. I failed."

He sighed and ran a hand through his long dark hair. She loved his hair, loved the way it had felt sliding between her fingers and even in this tense moment she felt the desire to run her fingers through it herself.

"Allow me to answer those questions you posed. Please?"
He said and then paused with uncertainty on his face.
"I guess I shouldn't assume they are about me.....yeah..."
He shook his head and looked down at the floor, his shoulders hunched.

A flood of love washed through her, a lump formed in her throat and she knew that she felt so much for this man. This arrogant, flighty thing that could make her smile so easily. She reached forward and laid her hand along his jaw, lifting his face to make him look at her. When their eyes met she could not help but to smile and she allowed all her love shine in her eyes.

"It is about you my love. Always. Sit down with me and answer the questions hmm?"

Her hand remained on his cheek and he stepped closer, his hand coming up to cover hers. His eyes were dark with desire and what she prayed was love. Then his other hand came up to encircle the back of her head and he pulled her into him. His lips crashing down on hers showed the depth of his desire and it set her reeling.
Nothing mattered at that moment but the connection between them and she felt as if she was floating.
He leaned back slightly, breaking the kiss but barely and whispered,
"I love you so much."
Her heart hammered at his words, joy bubbled up inside her and she whispered back.
"I love you too."

They sat down in the comfy chairs beside her writing and he began to tell her his passions.

You Don't Get to Choose

She looked at her phone for the tenth time in the hour and there was nothing. It hurt to see that he had not gotten back to her. Fear raced through her at the thought that he could possibly just say forget it and walk away. There had been times in the past where they were apart for months at a time but they always came full circle. Always.
Ah, but this time it was so different. This time it seemed like fate was saying it is time you two did your job and love one another.
She could not help falling for him. She tried. Oh great Goddess she tried to put him in her friend box but the box exploded outward and everything she was trying to hide from was there in the glaring light of day.
Nothing would ever be the same. She knew this and she figured he did as well.
Walking over to her desk she sat down and stared at the blank word document on the screen of her laptop. She wanted to write him, tell him how she felt but she was so afraid.
So afraid her words would either run him off or open him up to love. Both scenarios scared her in different ways.
Taking a deep breath she began to type.

"You don't get to choose, you just fall in love and you get this person who is all wrong and all right at the same time. And you know you love them so much except sometimes they drive you completely insane - no one can explain it. And the reason it's so confusing is because it's love, and if love didn't have challenges, what would be the point?"

She heard a knock at the door and went to answer it. Her friend had come by and they decided on dinner as she needed to get out.

As she pulled in her driveway hours later she saw a familiar truck sitting at the curb. Her heart started to pound and she realized it was him. Oh my, he had come to see her. Getting out of the car, quickly smoothing her hair down she walked over to him as he walked up the driveway.

"Hi. Hope its ok I came by. I wanted to apologize for my silence the right way." He held up a bottle of wine, smiling sheepishly.
"Friends can share a bottle of wine right?"

Her heart pounding she nodded and then stammered. "Of course we can. Come on in."

Once inside she turned to him.
"Be right back ok?"
He nodded and she rushed off down the hall to her bedroom where her mind was racing. Checking her makeup, hair and teeth she did not know what to do. Now she was so nervous around him and it made her crazy. He made her crazy in so many ways.

"Get a grip girl. This is your friend. You can be comfortable. He does not know how you feel. Just have a good time."
She whispered to her reflection in the mirror, then she took a deep breath and walked back to the living room where she stopped dead in her tracks as he stood next to the laptop.
Her mind froze as she saw her writing was still there, bold as day on the white page of the document. Oh no, her mind screamed, I forgot to shut the damn thing down. Oh great Goddess what is he thinking! Maybe I can play it off as a part of my book. Her thoughts stopped as he inclined his head to the laptop.

"That's very profound." he said softly and then walked towards her, grabbing the two wine glasses already filled with the lovely pink moscato he had brought over. Holding one out to her he smiled softly.
She took the offered glass automatically but she did not move from her frozen position. He took a sip of his wine then turned to look at the computer again then said softly.

"Love is a challenge. It's scary. Especially when there are circumstances that aren't ideal. Well, I guess not ideal to the way I thought of it. I guess any obstacle can be overcome."
 He turned to look at her and she just watched him warily.

"And it's very true....you don't get to choose who you fall in love with. Sometimes it's easier to run away because the depth of the emotion is so intense that you feel a little crazy."

He said watching her and she decided she needed a drink. Her mouth had gone dry and her usually witty, happy self had also dried up to a trembling leaf of a girl.
She took a big drink of the wine and then croaked.

"Yeah....crazy."

Oh great Goddess, she was an airhead and when he chuckled her eyes flew to his again and she blushed.

He set his glass down, walked towards her and took hers away setting it down beside his on the table. She felt her heart start up again but it was pounding and her stomach was filled with butterflies that were in some sort of air battle. Oh Goddess.
He wrapped his arms around her and tugged her against him, still smiling. His dark eyes alight with a light that she prayed was love.

"You are that chance I need to take. I need to set aside my fears and just....hell....just go for it and be dammed what comes next. We'll figure it out. Your words there echo my thoughts. And I do love you and that's what I came over here to tell you. I went all quiet because I had to figure this out and I decided that you are important to me. You make me feel good. You keep me calm. You make me feel like a good person. You make me crazy with desire and I need to be with you. So you up for it?"

Her eyes had gone wide at the start of his speech but in the middle the happy tears began to fill her eyes and she nodded at him. Kept nodding and then buried her face in his chest as she felt her heart implode with joy.
She murmured against his chest.

"I love you so damn much."

"What?" he laughed. "Look at me love..please.."

Her teary eyes lifted to meet his smiling face and she had to smile as well.

"I love you. I love the complicated, frustrating, oh so sexy you." she said with a laugh and then without another worrying thought she pressed her lips to his sealing their happy fate.

Joy had come.

The World Stops with You

She knew she had interrupted him in his work. She could see a small crease of annoyance in between his eyes but what she noticed more was the look in his eyes. It was as if he could not decide to be happy she was there, taking a stand, or worried that she was here to say something he could not handle.
She was past caring and she would not go the rest of her life not saying what is in her heart. She knew she would regret it so she rushed headlong into her words.

"When I see you, the world. It stops and all that exists for me, is you and my eyes staring at you. There's nothing else. No noise, no other people, no thoughts or worries. No yesterday, no tomorrow."

She paused a moment as he stood and watched him carefully. The others in the room had melted away and they were alone. Her heart was pounding so hard that she thought she would faint but she kept going. She had to make him hear her for once and not run away.

"The world just stops and it's a beautiful place and there's only you. Just you. And my eyes staring at you. When you're gone, the world starts again and I don't like it as much. I can live in it, but I don't like it. I just walk around in it and wait to see you again and wait for it to stop again. I love it when it stops. It's the best thing I've ever known or ever felt. The best thing, and that, is why I stare at you."

Her last few words had dropped to a soft whisper for he was standing right in front of her. So close she could almost hear his own heart pounding in his chest. His eyes were pinned to hers and she felt as if she would crumble into a thousand pieces. Oh great Goddess, please let him be in my world please. She prayed fervently in her mind.
She froze when his fingers slid over her cheek and he smiled softly.

"It's funny you say all that because when I see you the world, it stops and all that exists for me is you and my eyes staring at you. There's nothing else. No noise, no other people, no thoughts or worries. No yesterday no tomorrow. Just now. Just us. And I am sorry I keep running away from that world of perfection. I am so afraid of the stillness we create when we are together. But...."

His fingertip touched her bottom lip and she felt as if she was going to explode.

"....I want to reside in this beautiful place with you but I ask you to please hold my hand and keep me steady. Be outrageous with me. Be forceful with me. But most of all, don't stop loving me."

He said softly and with her almost imperceptible nod he leaned in and kissed her deeply.

They stood there in their world where only they mattered. And it was good.

Have You Ever Been in Love?

The rain fell hard outside and she watched him walk away, again, in her mind for the thousandth time. She sighed and realized that she had no control over her thoughts. She had no control over anything anymore and her soul ached with such a ferocity it made it hard to breathe.

"You are thinking again." her friend said from her seat on the couch.

The pain was so evident in her eyes that she could see her friend frown with worry when she turned from the window to look at her.

"Have you ever been in love?" she asked and her friend gave a slight nod but remained silent.

"Horrible isn't it?" Her friend shrugged but sat up straighter, worry in her eyes.

"It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up."
She began to pace back and forth. The sorrow welling up in her, making her voice waver a little as she continued.

"You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, wanders into your stupid life!" She paused a moment, breathing heavy, feeling her heart pound.

"You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts! Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain."

She did not even realize she had started crying somewhere in the middle of her tirade. She let the tears fall from her cheeks to the floor and she stared at her friend who looked like she wanted to cry as well. She knew she was letting her pain flow outward. She felt as if she would never have the love she wished for. He left and did not leave anything behind except cruel memories. Memories are not something you can touch they are fleeting shadows of the person you wished to have. They make you think you could have done this or that different and they would not have left. Then you have the cruelest thing of all; hope.

"I hate love." she whispered softly and turned back to the window.

The rain was still falling hard and thunder could be heard in the distance.
She wanted the lightning strike. She wanted to feel his touch once again.
But she knew it would never be and so she watched the gray world before her and imagined something better has to be ahead.

I Hope

He grasped her hands in his, trying to ignore the tears that streamed down her pretty face. This girl, no this woman was someone he wished he had not yet met. He wished he met her years from now when he had grown up to something that she could hold on to. Hell, grown to someone who could hold on to her. He loved her so much but he had to let her go for her own good and his. He held back his emotions, his fear of letting the best thing ever to walk into his life walk out of it.

"I hope that one day you buy every pretty dress you've ever wanted. I hope you wear them and dance barefoot in the summer and laugh." He said softly, squeezing her hands in his. Keeping her attention on him so he could try to calm her down.

"I hope you smile at all the little things, like flowers, and the laughter of children. I hope you get that tattoo you've always wanted. I hope you learn to speak French fluently. I hope you go to Paris and every single state in the US." he kept going so that she could not interrupt.

"I hope you never stop singing, even when people tell you can't - in fact, especially then. That's when  I hope you'll sing the loudest. I hope you buy a bracelet everywhere you go until your whole arm is filled with them."
He smiled gently at her and was relieved to see those tears had stopped. He could see she was watching him intently now.

"I hope you stop beating yourself up about everything that's out of your control. " He lifted one hand to push and errant strand of hair from her wet cheek.
"I hope you have the guts to speak up when something is important to you. I hope you step out of your comfort zone."

His heart constricted thinking of his next words but he continued.
"I hope you fall insanely in love with someone unexpected. I hope you forget about your scars - inside and out - and learn to be happy."

He leaned close and kissed her gently. She was very still and quiet, those green eyes watching him with sadness. Before she could say something witty or profound to make him stay with her and ruin her life he turned to walk away.
Then he paused and turned to look at her.

"Most of all I hope you remember that you are amazing and you made me a better person. Remember, joy is on your side, take it for granted."

With that he steeled his heart and turned his back on the one woman he loved more than anything in this world. He needed to get her away from his poison, he needed to get away from it as well.
He would fix himself. He would get right in the head and maybe, just maybe, he would give her a call and see if they could at least be friends.

He would miss her very much but he was lucky to have had her in his life.

Whisper More

She stood in the doorway, keys in her hand at her side and stared at him where he sat on the couch. He would not look at her. He kept his eyes glued to the television and she knew he would crumble if he looked at her. Here was ego. Here was manly strength. She sighed at such machismo. It made her crazy but it seemed to be his defense mechanism so she decided she would only say what is in her heart.

"I want to see you. Know your voice. Recognize you when you first come 'round the corner."
She said gently. She saw him go very still, remote limp in his hand.

"Sense your scent when I come into a room you've just left."

A shift of her form at the door sent her keys jingling like some warning bell and his head snapped around to look at her.
Her sad, green gaze locked to his dark one and she continued.

"Know the lift of your heel, the glide of your foot. Become familiar with the way you purse your lips, then let them part just the slightest bit when I lean into your space and kiss you."

He stood up slowly from the couch, his eyes never leaving hers and her heart began to pound as he closed the distance between them. He said not a word as he reached her, his fingertips glided over her cheek and she finally whispered.

"I want to know the joy of how you whisper 'more'."

"More" he whispered softly, his eyes closing as he leaned in and kissed her.

All became still within her soul and then explosions of desire washed through her.
This is why she stayed. This is what she wanted. He is who she wanted.
He is who she loved.

The Panic

"I'm the kind of person that when I cry, I cry. When I fall for someone, I fall too hard. People tell me I'm too intense when it comes to emotions." she paused in her furious pacing, glancing to him sitting there on the chair watching her intently but with no readable expression on his face. Her tears fell down her face without her even realizing it. She stopped then stood there and held her arms out to her side in a helpless gesture.

 "I'll do anything to be around you. I don't always look perfect and sometimes I get insecure."

She knew she did not look perfect right now, a lump formed her in her throat and she knew this was far from the joy she wished to feel. Her tennis shoes were scuffed and worn, her jeans were a little big and her t-shirt a little childish with a smiling, multi colored sugar skull on the front. She knew her hair was a mess for she flew over to see him after his text telling her they had to talk. Those little words shot fear through her emotional self and she panicked.

Wiping at her eyes she dropped her hands to her side as he had not moved, not said a word and she felt the defeat coming a mile away but she said her last piece anyway. For she knew if she did not say it she would regret it forever.

 "And I may have flaws, but I'll love you better than anyone else ever could."
Her softly spoken words floated away into the silent room. Her tear filled eyes on his unmoving form on the chair.
She knew after their night together things would never be the same, she knew it but she took the chance anyway.

He stood, his eyes never leaving hers and he closed the distance between them.
Her heart skipped in her chest, she could not feel him, she could not decipher his feelings nor his mood and it scared her.
His fingers lifted to trail over her cheek, then he leaned forward, kissed the single tear that rolled down her cheek.

"You already do love me better than anyone else ever has and ever will. That is a gift. A gift I am grateful for. Know this my emotional little one, I love you so very much. That is what I wanted to tell you tonight but my little crazy girl went overboard." His eyes were glowing with happiness and his smile was so wide.
her heart stopped beating for a moment when he uttered those words and then she laughed.
The joy bubbled out of her and she threw her arms around him.
She felt explosions of joy all over her soul and his as well.
Incredible.

When You Touch Someone

"When you touch someone with your spirit, and in turn they touch your soul with their heart."
Her quiet whisper sounded like a shout in the dimly lit room and then she stood, walking over to where he sat on the couch watching her closely.
"My soul overflows with the joy of us." she said softly as she knelt before him. Her gaze remained on his dark one and she felt a thrill of desire race through her at what she saw there.

His fingertip lifted to slide over her cheek and she had to keep from sighing aloud with her pleasure. She needed to maintain some control, for now.

"We are connected and this is something we need to explore further." his voice reverberated through her body like he had caressed her.
In one smooth moment he was kneeling in front of her, hands sliding over her cheeks to draw her close. When his lips touched hers the fire turned into an inferno of desire.
She could not still her hands and they slid up his chest to wind around his neck.
Her body was dragged against his with a groan escaping him as their kiss deepened.
She felt drugged as she tasted him for the first time and her mind spun out of her body to float on the ether within the room.
A moment later his hands were tugging her shirt upward and she broke the kiss, leaning back with a smile on her lips. Hands in the air her breath caught as he pulled her shirt off in one swift movement and then she gasped aloud as his lips found the swell of her breasts.
Her hands gripped his shirt and she sighed softly.
"So beautiful" he whispered against her skin and her bra fell away. Within a moment his lips were wrapped around one of her nipples. The sensations that raced through her body brought that drugged feeling to something more potent.
He feasted on her breasts, teeth scraping her nipples into small, taunt peaks.

A soft growl from him made the most primeval part of her shiver and clench in need. He stood, tugging her up with him and his dark gaze washed over her form. She felt like the most beautiful, alluring woman in the world to have heated this man to this level.

She was hot, throbbing and aching with the need to touch him, taste him and be filled by him.
Without a word he led her to his bed.

"You are over dressed my dear." she said as she pulled at his shirt. He grinned at her and off it went.
She decided it was time to take what was hers.
Hands slid over his chest, fingertips trailing over his nipples and she watched with joy as the need in his eyes intensified. Her teeth made short work of his neck and nipples and within a moment he was squirming with pleasure.
Her hands began to undo his pants and one of his dark brows lifted in question.
She lifted one finger to her lips. "Shhh."
She smiled as she kneeled before him.
His fingers touched her hair as she tugged his pants down freeing his manhood.
Biting her lip in anticipation she looked up at him and reveled in the flare of hot desire on his face and in his eyes as her hand wrapped around his thick length.

"Absolutely delicious." she murmured and then took him into her mouth.
She was rewarded with his hands tangling into her hair and his loud groan of pleasure.
Deep she took him, her tongue teasing the head. Devouring him on all sides. Loving the way he shifted, moaned and tugged on her hair when she moved over just the right spot.

She could taste him and he was like an aphrodisiac and she did not want to stop until he had found his release. She wanted to taste the very essence of him.
They were one in spirit and they needed to be one in body as well.
This she knew, though she did not know how but this was how it was to be.
His pleas of how close he was to his release spurred her on and she took him deeper, sucking harder as her hands smoother over his body.

Suddenly he groaned. "Oh my love, now..I am losing control now..." his voice trailed off as his orgasm slammed into him. She felt his length twitch in her mouth and then she tasted him fully. Her mouth exploded into a thousand tastes and tingles of pure ecstasy. She drank him down, enjoying the feel of his pleasure washing through her as well.
Indeed they were connected now, she could feel it within her soul.

After a moment he knelt before her and his dark eyes were filled with an intense light. He crushed him to her, kissing her deeply then gripping her cheeks he stared into her eyes.

"Your turn...." he said softly and then he leaned forward to nibble her lips.

Excitement filled her and she waited to see what his plans for her were. She knew whatever they were she would be riding the waves of pleasure again soon enough.

Isn't it Crazy

"Isn't it crazy how we can look back a year ago and realize how much everything has changed?"
She said softly as she stared out the window at the cars rushing by to their destinations.
"The amount of people that have left your life, entered and stayed."
Her gaze shifted to the person across from her in the booth and she noticed he was listening intently, as he always did and that made her happy.
"The memories you won't forget and the moments you wish you did. Everything."
Her fingertips trailed over the cup of coffee before her.
"It's crazy how all that happened in just one year." She said softly her gaze on his dark eyes.

"It's crazy but look where we are now. Sometimes crazy has to be experienced to get to the place where peace can begin." He said with a gentle smile.

She nodded and she had to smile at the word peace. Was this considered peace? The tumultuous emotions swirling around them and most of what she was feeling was not her. It was a challenge to be this way. To feel so deeply and completely that you could be consumed in one angry rage if it decided to break loose before you. She felt she could be swept away on a tidal wave of judgment and pain and she would have no strength to hold on.
Her gaze lifted to his and then she realized she did not have to have all the strength. She did not need to hang on so tightly to herself now for she had another to help her hang on.
She knew she helped him hang on as well.
They cling to one another riding the ebb and flow of the emotional world and they stand on the edge of their own control.
Her mind wandered for one moment, one split moment she wondered what it would be like to press her lips to his. Would it be fire or calm?

"Fire." he whispered softly and placed his hand over hers, dark eyes blazing and she felt her cheeks blush.
Caught within her thoughts.
Ah well and then she smiled, squeezing his hand in return.

Joy by Ellie Goulding

Joy by Ellie Goulding

Stood in the rain and watched you go
I feel a lump in my throat
And this is far from joy

I never seemed to learn,
That high makes things harder
That high I get from you

I've figured out that joy is not in your arms
I know I'll always ache with an empty heart
I think it's time to run 'cos I'm seeing stars
I'm seeing stars, watch me fall apart

I think of dying all the time
But I've got joy to take my side
Fear is my favorite ride

I've figured out that joy is not in your arms
I know I'll always ache with an empty heart
I think it's time to run 'cos I'm seeing stars
I'm seeing stars, watch me fall apart

I've figured out that joy is not in your arms
I know I'll always ache with an empty heart
I think it's time to run 'cos I'm seeing stars
I'm seeing stars, watch me fall apart

Dead in The Water - Ellie Goulding

Music laced with words that bring a mind to a dark place.
A place thought laid to rest.
And yet the waves of memory come with the song.....

"Dead in the Water" Ellie Goulding

If I was not myself
And you were someone else
I'd say so much to you
And I would tell the truth
It's high, can't hardly breathe

When your hands let go of me
The eyes say standing out
And I feel things from selves

I'm dead in the water
Still looking for ya
I'm dead in the water
Can't you see, can't you see

You've seen this all before
Life left on the shore
We're smiling all the same
You sail away again

I'm dead in the water
Still looking for ya
I'm dead in the water
Can't you see, can't you see

Oh yeah
I'm dead in the water
Still looking for ya
I'm dead in the water
Can't you see, can't you see

I'm dead in the water
Still looking for ya
I'm dead in the water
Can't you see, can't you see

Heavy Dust

Weary from the battle within her soul she laid down to just close her eyes for a moment.
Everything she had tried to do was not enough.
She then turned away allowing things to just be as they were.
Broken and lost.
She felt as if a thousand pounds of sorrow was sitting where her heart used to be.
She was lost within memories; some she wished would have happened and then those that did.
Lovers do hold on to everything and anything.
She needed to let go.
And so she did......

Opening her eyes to the sunrise of a new day she felt a smile tug at her lips.
Radiant rays of orange, purple and gold shone into the sky.
The fresh air made her sit up and she felt her world shift into focus.

When one door closes another opens.

Dusting herself off she stands and boldly walks towards the sun.
Yes she may get burned but she has learned lessons.
Tread lightly little one and you shall move with care, compassion and love.

Blank Slate

Her pen hovers over the page.
Not touching. Not yet.
Her mind is whirling with words, images and feelings.
What to write.
What words will express her thoughts at this very moment?

Thoughtful.
Considering.
Wonder.
Amazement.
Contentment.
Caution.
Adoration.
Desire.
Fear.

Her eyes close as she completes her small list. They seem so paltry and inexpressive.
She could show her thoughtfulness with her praise.
Her consideration is for what is to come.
The wonder is not only about the events but him.
She is amazed that this is happening.
Content in what she has now.
The caution comes because of her emotions spiraling out of control.
Then she slips into the easy way she adores him.
As that happens she feels the heated desire wash through her soul.
Then the fear slips in to dampen the way she feels for she fears all will cease.

Opening her eyes she looks out the window into the night.
Let it be whatever it is meant to be.
Allow it to grow into whatever it shall grow into.

A small smile slips over her lips and she is content once again.

Imagine

 

 

Imagine meeting someone who understood even the dustiest corners of your mixed-up soul.
Imagine the shock when they say they feel the same way you do.
Imagine the wonder when they are on the same path you are.

Imagine the look on your face of pure wonder.
Imagine the look of joy on their face when they realize you understand the dusty corners of their soul.

Imagine what comes next.....