You Don't Get to Choose

She looked at her phone for the tenth time in the hour and there was nothing. It hurt to see that he had not gotten back to her. Fear raced through her at the thought that he could possibly just say forget it and walk away. There had been times in the past where they were apart for months at a time but they always came full circle. Always.
Ah, but this time it was so different. This time it seemed like fate was saying it is time you two did your job and love one another.
She could not help falling for him. She tried. Oh great Goddess she tried to put him in her friend box but the box exploded outward and everything she was trying to hide from was there in the glaring light of day.
Nothing would ever be the same. She knew this and she figured he did as well.
Walking over to her desk she sat down and stared at the blank word document on the screen of her laptop. She wanted to write him, tell him how she felt but she was so afraid.
So afraid her words would either run him off or open him up to love. Both scenarios scared her in different ways.
Taking a deep breath she began to type.

"You don't get to choose, you just fall in love and you get this person who is all wrong and all right at the same time. And you know you love them so much except sometimes they drive you completely insane - no one can explain it. And the reason it's so confusing is because it's love, and if love didn't have challenges, what would be the point?"

She heard a knock at the door and went to answer it. Her friend had come by and they decided on dinner as she needed to get out.

As she pulled in her driveway hours later she saw a familiar truck sitting at the curb. Her heart started to pound and she realized it was him. Oh my, he had come to see her. Getting out of the car, quickly smoothing her hair down she walked over to him as he walked up the driveway.

"Hi. Hope its ok I came by. I wanted to apologize for my silence the right way." He held up a bottle of wine, smiling sheepishly.
"Friends can share a bottle of wine right?"

Her heart pounding she nodded and then stammered. "Of course we can. Come on in."

Once inside she turned to him.
"Be right back ok?"
He nodded and she rushed off down the hall to her bedroom where her mind was racing. Checking her makeup, hair and teeth she did not know what to do. Now she was so nervous around him and it made her crazy. He made her crazy in so many ways.

"Get a grip girl. This is your friend. You can be comfortable. He does not know how you feel. Just have a good time."
She whispered to her reflection in the mirror, then she took a deep breath and walked back to the living room where she stopped dead in her tracks as he stood next to the laptop.
Her mind froze as she saw her writing was still there, bold as day on the white page of the document. Oh no, her mind screamed, I forgot to shut the damn thing down. Oh great Goddess what is he thinking! Maybe I can play it off as a part of my book. Her thoughts stopped as he inclined his head to the laptop.

"That's very profound." he said softly and then walked towards her, grabbing the two wine glasses already filled with the lovely pink moscato he had brought over. Holding one out to her he smiled softly.
She took the offered glass automatically but she did not move from her frozen position. He took a sip of his wine then turned to look at the computer again then said softly.

"Love is a challenge. It's scary. Especially when there are circumstances that aren't ideal. Well, I guess not ideal to the way I thought of it. I guess any obstacle can be overcome."
 He turned to look at her and she just watched him warily.

"And it's very true....you don't get to choose who you fall in love with. Sometimes it's easier to run away because the depth of the emotion is so intense that you feel a little crazy."

He said watching her and she decided she needed a drink. Her mouth had gone dry and her usually witty, happy self had also dried up to a trembling leaf of a girl.
She took a big drink of the wine and then croaked.

"Yeah....crazy."

Oh great Goddess, she was an airhead and when he chuckled her eyes flew to his again and she blushed.

He set his glass down, walked towards her and took hers away setting it down beside his on the table. She felt her heart start up again but it was pounding and her stomach was filled with butterflies that were in some sort of air battle. Oh Goddess.
He wrapped his arms around her and tugged her against him, still smiling. His dark eyes alight with a light that she prayed was love.

"You are that chance I need to take. I need to set aside my fears and just....hell....just go for it and be dammed what comes next. We'll figure it out. Your words there echo my thoughts. And I do love you and that's what I came over here to tell you. I went all quiet because I had to figure this out and I decided that you are important to me. You make me feel good. You keep me calm. You make me feel like a good person. You make me crazy with desire and I need to be with you. So you up for it?"

Her eyes had gone wide at the start of his speech but in the middle the happy tears began to fill her eyes and she nodded at him. Kept nodding and then buried her face in his chest as she felt her heart implode with joy.
She murmured against his chest.

"I love you so damn much."

"What?" he laughed. "Look at me love..please.."

Her teary eyes lifted to meet his smiling face and she had to smile as well.

"I love you. I love the complicated, frustrating, oh so sexy you." she said with a laugh and then without another worrying thought she pressed her lips to his sealing their happy fate.

Joy had come.